Considers Alan Partridge circa 1992 a style icon and enjoys over-vaunting the England team, English players or English teams in Europe. It's Andy Townsend...
That's the question that kicks off an afternoon mailbox full of debate over Arsenal and the size of Patrick Vieira's head. Plus, thoughts on colouring and Chelsea strikers...
* Arsenal have not won any of their eight Premier League games without Mikel Arteta this season.
* Arsenal have gained 21 points from losing positions this season - the most in the Premier League.
* With 13, Arsenal have conceded the most goals thanks to individual errors in Europe's top five divisions this season.
* Villa have lost 22 points from winning positions this season - the most in the Premier League.
* Assuming you include Shay Given, Alex McLeish used nine defenders in their 1-1 draw with Tottenham on Sunday.
* Villa have scored just eight goals and won once in 11 PL games since Darren Bent's injury in February.
* Blackburn have only had seven shots on target in their last four Premier League games.
* At 57%, Paul Robinson has the lowest shots-to-save ratio of any Premier League goalkeeper.
* Along with Manchesters City and United, Blackburn have scored the most goals from set-pieces in the Premier League this season with 18.
* Bolton have picked up just 13 of their 35 points this season against teams outside the bottom six.
* Bolton are one of three teams not to have lost a game they have been leading - Manchester United and Fulham are the other two.
* Martin Petrov has been Bolton's most creative player this season with two 'key passes' per game.
* Chelsea have won only four of 18 PL games against top-half sides this season.
* Florent Malouda played six of Chelsea's seven 'key passes' v Liverpool on Tuesday night.
* Defensive pair John Terry and Branislav Ivanovic failed to win a single 'aerial duel' at Anfield.
* Only Wigan, Newcastle and Manchester City have accumulated more points than Everton (16) over the last eight matches.
* Over the season, they have an identical scoring record to Liverpool: F47 A39.
* Marouane Fellaini failed to hit the target with any of his five attempts v Wolves on Sunday.
* Fulham are the only team in the Premier League not to have had a player sent off this season.
* Fulham are just one win away from their highest ever Premier League points finish.
* Moussa Dembélé's average pass completion rate this season has been an impressive 88.5%.
* Luis Suarez and Andy Carroll have taken a total of 210 shots in the Premier League this season but scored only 15 goals in total at the rate of a goal every 14 shots.
* Carroll won more aerial duels (7) v Chelsea than the whole of the Blues team put together.
* Stewart Downing has now had 72 shots without scoring in the Premier League this season - more than any other player.
* City have won the six PL games Carlos Tevez has started this season with an aggregate score of 20-1.
* Sergio Agüero has now matched Wayne Rooney with a combined total of 30 PL goals and assists this season. Robin van Persie leads the list with a combined 40.
* Only one of Yaya Toure's six PL goals this season has been scored in the first half.
* Manchester United have won 22 of the 23 PL games they were winning at half-time this season.
* This season Wayne Rooney has scored a goal every 5.84 shots, Javier Hernandez every 4.7 shots, Danny Welbeck every 8.89 shots and Dimitar Berbatov every 2.29 shots.
* Patrice Evra made a season-high ten tackles v Swansea City on Sunday.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle have picked up just four points from losing positions this season - only Manchester United have a worse record.
* Newcastle are the only team not to score an own goal all season.
* Demba Ba has failed to score from 42 shots in his last 13 Premier League games.
* Norwich only had four shots on target against Arsenal - three of them were goals.
* Grant Holt has now scored against the top eight sides in the Premier League.
* Wes Hoolahan scored four and created seven goals from 24 starts this season, recording an 86% pass completion rate, but that wasn't enough to be named in Giovanni Trapattoni's Euro 2012 squad.
* QPR have won their last five home games with an aggregate score of 10-3.
* They lie in 13th of a table constructed of matches since Mark Hughes took over - above Norwich, Bolton and Liverpool.
* Nedum Onuoha was successful with all nine of his attempted clearances v Stoke on Sunday.
* Stoke City
* Over the season, Stoke have the lowest pass completion rate (69.6%), the lowest average possession (39.6%) and the fewest shots on goal (average 9.7 a game) but could still finish in 11th.
* They have managed only 1.7 shots on target per away game this season.
* Victory in their final game of the season would match their 47-point haul from 2009/10.
* Sunderland have picked up just 12 points from their last 13 PL games. Only Aston Villa and Wolves have been worse over that period.
* That's just one more point than the '11 points in 13 games' season start that got Steve Bruce the sack.
* Stephane Sessegnon has managed just three shots on target in his last 12 Premier League games.
* Swansea have picked up exactly the same points against top-half opposition (22) than fellow members of the bottom ten this season.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson has taken an average of four shots per game since his arrival in January. That's a higher average than Manchester City's Sergio Agüero.
* Joe Allen's 96% pass completion rate matched Paul Scholes at Old Trafford on Sunday.
* Newcastle are the only top-half side Tottenham have beaten since mid-January.
* Spurs had 19 corners against Aston Villa, which is the most in a Premier League game this season. They still didn't score from one, despite Villa conceding the most goals from corners in the division.
* Gareth Bale has taken 54 shots in his last 13 PL games without scoring.
* West Brom need just a point v Arsenal on Sunday to beat their best Premier League points total of 47.
* Chris Brunt has recorded the most West Brom assists this season (6) despite starting only 25 PL games.
* The Baggies' second-half record is the best outside the top seven.
Wigan are top of a PL table constructed from the last eight games with a phenomenal 18 points.
* Joint top scorer Victor Moses has taken 16.83 shots to score each of his six goals this season.
* Wigan won 86% of aerial duels v Blackburn, with Maynor Figueroa beating Blackburn's strikers seven times.
* Wayne Hennessey has hit the most accurate long balls in the Premier League this season with 377 over 34 games.
* Hennessey has also made the most saves in the PL this season with 165.
* Karl Henry made five tackles, seven interceptions and recorded a 93% pass completion rate v Everton on Sunday.