One Mailboxer may have spent lunch in the pub in suggesting Van Persie could go back to Arsenal. Also, some Premier League meh-ing and a fine Acewatch suggestion...
Roy Hodgson is asked the perfect question, Mr Grumpypants is back, Jamie Redknapp hates making comparisons. Plus Ace-watch, you lucky things...
* Per Mertesacker has the highest pass completion rate in the Premier League at 92.9% - just ahead of Mikel Arteta on 92.8%.
* At this stage last season, Robin van Persie had scored 13 of Arsenal's 25 PL goals. This season no Arsenal player has scored more than four of their 23 goals.
* Theo Walcott has attempted 31 crosses in his last two PL starts v Fulham and Tottenham. Only three have been accurate but all three have led to goals.
* Paul Lambert's sides (Norwich and now Villa) have conceded 16 goals in three PL meetings against Man City.
* Villa have six fewer points and six fewer goals than the same stage last season under Alex McLeish.
* They made 26 tackles v Man City with Matthew Lowton and Stephen Ireland notching five each.
* Fernando Torres has not scored in 458 minutes of PL football for Chelsea.
* He did not attempt a single shot in 61 minutes v West Brom. Both Eden Hazard and Juan Mata attempt more shots per game than Torres.
* Chelsea now have only two points more (24) than the same stage last season under Andre Villas-Boas (22).
* Everton have picked up seven points from their last six games - the same record as Reading, Fulham and Wigan.
* Everton have taken more shots (238) than any other PL team this season but five teams have scored more goals.
* Steven Pienaar created five chances for teammates v Reading but none were taken.
* Mladen Petric has scored a goal every 90 minutes in the PL this season.
* Damien Duff and Dimitar Berbatov both created five chances v Sunderland on Sunday despite playing with ten men for much of the game.
* Fulham substitutes have scored more goals (7) than any other PL team this season.
* Luis Suarez has converted 17% of his shots this season in the Premier League. His previous record was 9.7%.
* As well as being top scorer, Suarez has created the most chances from open play (35) and has had most touches in the opposition box (131) in the PL this season.
* Suso had more shots (3) than passes (2) in his 36 minutes on the pitch v Wigan.
* Man City have won all 12 PL games started by Sergio Aguero and Carlos Tevez.
* City have won 99 points from a possible 108 available in their last 36 PL games at home. They have scored 98 goals and conceded just 22.
* Samir Nasri created eight chances and found a teammate with five of his nine crosses v Villa on Saturday.
* Ryan Giggs misplaced more passes (13) in the attacking third than any other Premier League player this weekend.
* But Giggs made more chances (3) than any other United player at Norwich.
* United have scored exactly the same number of goals (29) as the same stage last season but have conceded five more.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle attempted 26 shots at goal vs Swansea (excl. blocked) - the most by a PL side in a single game since January 2011.
* Demba Ba attempted a massive ten shots in that game. Only Luis Suarez has taken more shots this season (72) than Ba (50).
* Hatem Ben Arfa created eight chances v the Swans but none were taken.
* Norwich have conceded just eight goals in ten PL games started by Sebastien Bassong this season.
* John Ruddy made a series of fine saves but he ended the game with a pass completion rate of just 19%.
* Wes Hoolahan has created more chances per game (2.4) than Gareth bale (2.3) or Eden Hazard (2.3) this season.
* QPR have the lowest conversion rate of shots into goals of any team in the Premier League this season. at 7.6%.
* Adel Taarabt created four chances and was accurate with all three of his crosses v Southampton.
* José Bosingwa failed to make a single tackle or interception in 74 minutes v Saints.
* Only Leighton Baines (49) has produced more accurate crosses than Nicky Shorey (30) this season.
* Shorey created six chances v Everton and was rewarded with the only assist of the game.
* Adam Le Fondre has scored a PL goal every 128 minutes for Reading.
* Nathaniel Clyne made a massive nine tackles v QPR on Saturday.
* Only Sandro (45) has made more interceptions than Morgan Schneiderlin (40) this season.
* Rickie Lambert has the same number of PL goals (5) as Jerman Defoe this season but Defoe has taken 49 shots to Lambert's 28.
* Stoke City
* Stoke's last away win over a team currently in the PL came against Everton in December 2011.
* They have averaged just 41.2% possession in PL games this season.
* New England cap Ryan Shawcross made 14 successful clearances v West Ham but recorded only a 41% pass completion rate.
* Sunderland won an away PL game at the 14th attempt at Fulham on Sunday.
* Adam Johnson recorded two assists in a PL game for the first time in his career.
* Steven Fletcher's six PL goals this season have come from just ten shots on target.
* Swansea have not scored a first-half goal in their last nine PL games.
* Michael Laudrup's Swans have conceded exactly the same number of goals (16) as Brendan Rodgers' side at the same stage last season.
* Pablo Hernández is one of five Spanish players at the top of the 'through balls per game' PL table. But while David Silva has attempted 15 through balls to find a teammate five times, Hernandez has been successful with five of eight.
* Gareth Bale has created more chances (25) than any other PL player this season without being credited with a single assist.
* Kyle Walker was withdrawn after 45 minutes v Arsenal with a woeful 47% pass completion rate.
* Jan Vertonghen made an incredible eight interceptions and four tackles v Arsenal on Saturday.
* Only Reading (41.5%) and Stoke (41.1%) have had lower average possession than fourth-placed West Brom (42.5%) this season.
* They score a goal every 8.2 shots. By contrast, QPR score every 13.2 shots.
* Winning goalscorer Peter Odemwingie made six tackles - more than any other player v Chelsea on Saturday.
* Andy Carroll has played over ten hours of football for West Ham without scoring on loan from Liverpool.
* Mark Noble (50) and Mohamed Diamé (46) top the PL tackle charts for the season.
* The Hammers play exactly the same number of long balls per game (63) as Stoke.
* Wigan have not picked up an away draw since a 1-1 at Norwich in March.
* Wigan players were dispossessed a massive 17 times at Liverpool with Franco Di Santo losing the ball five times.
* Maynor Figueroa made five interceptions, four tackles and three effective clearances v Liverpool.