That's the advice from a Liverpool fan who knows a thing or two about joshing from rival fans. Plus, Andy Townsend as eye candy and answers to Martin's question...
These are truly exciting times in Spain. There are three teams who could end the weekend top of the table and there's a very decent chance that Atletico could lead...
* Arsenal have won only two of the last 11 PL games started by Aaron Ramsey.
* Ramsey was dispossessed six times by Everton players on Wednesday night and had three shots without hitting the target.
* Theo Walcott has scored or assisted eight of the Gunners' 24 goals this season despite starting only four of 14 PL games.
* Barry Bannan created five chances v Reading. His record of 1.8 key passes per game is the same as Wayne Rooney and Raheem Sterling.
* Matthew Lowton made six tackles and six interceptions v Reading on Tuesday.
* Villa's starting line-up v Reading had an average age of just 23 years and 324 days - the youngest side in their PL history.
* Fernando Torres has not scored in 638 minutes of PL football for Chelsea.
* Juan Mata came onto the pitch at the 63-minute mark v Fulham and made more chances (3) than any other Chelsea player.
* Chelsea attempted 17 shots v Fulham - up on their season average of 14.4 shots per game.
* Everton have picked up nine points from their last eight games - the same record as Southampton and one point less than Wigan.
* Marouane Fellaini has scored seven goals from just 45 shots this season (Jermain Defoe has taken 58 shots to reach the same total). All four of Fellaini's shots were on target v Arsenal.
* Nikica Jelavic has been caught offside (21) more often than any other PL player this season.
* Fulham made a massive 26 tackles at Chelsea on Wednesday with Steve Sidwell weighing in with seven.
* Philippe Senderos was successful with eight of his nine attempted clearances v Chelsea.
* Fulham's clean sheet at Chelsea was their first away from Craven Cottage since May v Liverpool.
* Liverpool have picked up just five points from a possible 27 v current top-half sides this season.
* Raheem Sterling has been dispossessed more times (44) than any other PL player this season.
* Luis Suárez was dispossessed eight times v Tottenham and did not set up a single one of Liverpool's 17 goal attempts.
* Matija Nastasic and Vincent Kompany have conceded just two goals in seven games they have played together in the Premier League.
* City have scored 20 of their 27 goals in the second halves of games this season.
* Mario Balotelli finally scored a goal with his 30th shot of the season v Wigan.
* Michael Carrick and Tom Cleverley have both made 21 tackles this season despite the latter starting only seven PL games to Carrick's 13.
* Rafael made four tackles and five interceptions as well as setting up three chances v West Ham on Wednesday.
* Jonny Evans won more aerial duels (7) than Andy Carroll (6) on Wednesday as United kept their first clean sheet in 11 matches.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle have the same record (14 points from 14 games) as their relegation year from 2008/09.
* They have lost four successive PL games for the first time since September 2008.
* Newcastle played 64 long balls to Stoke's 54 in their Britannia Stadium clash on Wednesday.
* Norwich have exactly the same points total as the same stage last season (16 points from 14 games) but have scored only 11 goals compared to 20 under Paul Lambert.
* Robert Snodgrass hit the target with all three of his shots v Southampton on Wednesday night. He has taken more shots (31) than any other Canary this season.
* Bradley Johnson has been dribbled around more times (28) than any other player in the PL this season.
* QPR have averaged more possession this season (49%) than Tottenham (47.1%).
* Djibril Cisse took more shots (7) v Sunderland than in any other game since he joined QPR.
* Adel Taarabt has created the same number of chances per game (2.8) as Santi Cazorla and Samir Nasri this season.
* Reading have conceded 18 of 23 goals in the second halves of games.
* Jason Roberts was dispossessed six times and lost the ball another five times v Aston Villa.
* Adam Le Fondre failed to hit the target with four shots and completed just nine passes in 90 minutes v Villa.
* Morgan Schneiderlin averages more tackles per game (4.4) than any other PL player.
* Luke Shaw was credited with two last-man tackles v Norwich on Wednesday.
* The Saints have thrown away a massive 15 points from winning positions this season.
* Stoke City
* Only Man City (10) have conceded fewer goals than Stoke (12) so far this season.
* Geoff Cameron has made more tackles (48) and interceptions (37) than any other Stoke player this season.
* Cameron Jerome's goal/assist combo v Newcastle was his first in the Premier League since March 2010.
* Sunderland have won two of their last 21 Premier League games.
* Steve Bruce was sacked at this stage of last season with just two fewer points. Bruce's Sunderland had scored three more goals.
* Adam Johnson created four chances v QPR on Tuesday - more than the rest of the team put together.
* Ki Sung-Yueng has taken the most shots in the Premier League (23) without scoring a goal.
* The Swans have six more points and seven more goals than the same stage last season under Brendan Rodgers.
* Michu recorded a 100% pass completion rate as well as a goal v West Brom on Wednesday night.
* Jan Vertonghen made more tackles v Liverpool (11) than any other player in any PL game this season.
* Gareth Bale finally recorded his first PL assist of the season v Liverpool with his 31st key pass.
* Tottenham have won all five PL games started by Mousa Dembele this season.
* The Baggies have kept only one clean sheet in their last nine PL games.
* Only five of the Baggies' 14 opponents this season are currently in the top half of the table.
* West Brom attack down the middle of the pitch more than any other PL team (34%). They attempted only 13 crosses at Swansea on Wednesday.
* The Hammers have picked up two points from a possible 18 against current top-half sides this season.
* Matthew Jarvis failed to find a teammate with any of his eight crosses v Man United.
* Modibo Maiga played for 20 minutes at Old Trafford and completed just two of his nine attempted passes.
* Piscu was starting only his seventh PL game in two years v Man City but made four tackles and five interceptions.
* They have conceded 17 of 25 goals in the second halves of games this season.
* Only five clubs (Arsenal, Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool and Swansea) have averaged more possession than Wigan this season.