Chippy arse? Aye...do you want some? Wee Gordie is never anything other than entertaining, even if he is wearing adult man¿s shorts as trousers. Especially so....
Players, not bureaucrats, hold the key to boycotting Qatar. Also in the afternoon mailbox: Wenger is right to rotate, Zlatan can dribble, and it's Barca v Ajax in the budget final...
* On average, 22% of goals in the PL this season have come from individual errors. Arsenal's rate is 63%.
* Santiago Cazorla pulled off four successful dribbles v Swansea but was dispossessed five times by Swansea players.
* Mikel Arteta has not created a single chance in his last three PL games.
* Only Newcastle (76) play more long balls per game than Aston Villa (67) in the Premier League.
* Only QPR (11) have scored fewer goals than Aston Villa (12) this season.
* Fabian Delph made more tackles (6) in his 23 minutes on the pitch than any other Villa player v QPR.
* Fernando Torres has not scored in his last 12 hours and 19 minutes of football for Chelsea.
* They attempted 18 crosses v West Ham but only one - from Gary Cahill - reached a Chelsea player.
* John Obi Mikel makes fewer tackles per game (2.6) than 36 other PL regulars including supposed flair players like Zoltán Gera (2.7) And Stephen Ireland (2.7).
* Marouane Fellaini has hit the target with all seven of his shots in Everton's last two PL games.
* Ten of Everton's 15 PL games this season have been against opposition currently in the bottom half of the table.
* Leighton Baines has not been credited with an assist in his last ten PL appearances.
* The Cottagers have gone seven games without a PL win - their worst spell since November 2010 under Mark Hughes.
* Steve Sidwell has made 15 tackles in Fulham's last two PL games v Chelsea and Tottenham.
* Fulham winger Kerim Frei did not attempt a single cross in 62 minutes v Spurs.
* All four of Liverpool's wins this season have come against teams currently in the bottom half of the PL table.
* Glen Johnson has attempted more shots without scoring a goal (24) than any other PL player this season. He had three shots v Southampton.
* Steven Gerrard created six chances v Saints. He creates the same number of chances per game (2.8) as David Silva and more than Santi Cazorla (2.7).
* Man City have not won any of their last seven games started by Edin Dzeko.
* Carlos Tevez had five shots and created two chances in 68 minutes v Everton. His replacement Sergio Aguero touched the ball just three times in the remaining 22 minutes.
* Yaya Toure has claimed no goals and just one assist in his last 12 PL games.
* Jonny Evans was only successful with six of his 16 attempted clearances at Reading on Saturday.
* United have kept only one clean sheet in nine games started by Evans and Rio Ferdinand this season.
* Wayne Rooney has moved to the top of the PL assist chart with seven in just 11 PL games.
* Newcastle United
* Demba Ba has scored 33 goals in 61 PL games for West Ham and Newcastle.
* Michael Williamson has made more clearances (158) than any other PL player this season. He succeeded with 10 of 12 v Wigan.
* Newcastle played just 51 long balls v Wigan on Monday night - well down on the season average of 76.
* Norwich have exactly the same points total as the same stage last season (19 points from 15 games) but have scored only 13 goals compared to 24 under Paul Lambert.
* Victory over Sunderland was their first win over a side currently in the bottom half of the table.
* Grant Holt has been caught offside more times (22) than any other PL player this season.
* Adel Taarabt has created more chances per game (3) than any other PL midfielder this season.
* QPR have scored the fewest number of goals (11) in the PL but have taken more shots (204) than ten PL clubs.
* Only Michael Williamson (158) has made more clearances than Ryan Nelsen (149) this season.
* Reading have thrown away a massive 17 points in the PL this season.
* Nicky Shorey set up eight chances for the Royals v United. He puts in more accurate crosses per game (3.6) than any other PL player.
* Reading have the lowest average possession (41.2%) and passing accuracy (69.1%) in the Premier League.
* Morgan Schneiderlin averages more tackles per game (4.6) than any other PL player. He made eight v Liverpool on Saturday.
* Maya Yoshida made five tackles, three interceptions and eight effective clearances v Liverpool.
* Southampton have picked up just three points from a possible 21 away from home this season.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have played 167 PL games. They have scored 168 goals.
* Victory over West Brom was their first away from home against a side currently in the PL since December 2011 v Everton.
* Robert Huth completed five passes in 90 minutes v West Brom on Saturday.
* Sunderland have won two of their last 22 Premier League games.
* They have come from behind only once in 110 PL away games in which they have gone behind.
* Danny Rose suffers more fouls per game (3) than any other player in the PL.
* Michu has joined Luis Suarez, Robin v Persie and Demba Ba on ten PL goals this season. He has taken just 40 shots to reach that total in comparison to 89 from Suarez, 50 from Van Persie and 59 from Ba.
* Swansea are the only PL team with three regular first-teamers - Ki Sung-Yueng, Leon Britton and Chico - with a pass completion rate above 92%.
* Ashley Williams has blocked more shots (24) than any other PL player this season.
* Spurs out-tackled Fulham 22-20 on Saturday with Kyle Naughton (5) and Jan Vertonghen (4) topping the tackle charts.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson became the tenth Tottenham player to be credited with a PL assist this season v Fulham.
* Hugo Lloris attempted a massive 29 long balls v Fulham. Only five reached a teammate.
* The Baggies have picked up only one point (v Tottenham) from a losing position this season.
* The Baggies attempt fewer crosses per game (18) than any other PL side.
* Gareth McAuley has won a massive 56 of 69 aerial duels this season and won ten v Stoke on Saturday.
* Mark Noble has created more chances (24) than any other PL player without being credited with an assist this season.
* Mo Diame made more tackles (5) than any other player on the pitch during Chelsea v West Hame even though he only came on at half-time.
* Carlton Cole was credited with a goal and an assist v Chelsea for the first time in a PL game since December 2008.
* Wigan had 50% possesion v Newcastle despite having just ten men for 78 minutes.
* Arouna Kone was dispossessed six times and lost the ball on four other occasions v Newcastle.
* Jean Beausejour puts in more accurate crosses per game (1.7) than Gareth Bale (1.6) or Antonion Valenvia (1.5).