One Mailboxer may have spent lunch in the pub in suggesting Van Persie could go back to Arsenal. Also, some Premier League meh-ing and a fine Acewatch suggestion...
Roy Hodgson is asked the perfect question, Mr Grumpypants is back, Jamie Redknapp hates making comparisons. Plus Ace-watch, you lucky things...
* Per Mertesacker has the best pass completion rate in the Premier League at 92.8%. He wasted just three passes v West Brom on Saturday.
* Barring the penalty, Santi Cazorla did not create a single chance or reach a teammate with seven attempted crosses v the Baggies.
* Mikel Arteta committed six of Arsenal's 13 fouls v West Brom
* Villa are unbeaten in four PL games for the first time since September 2011.
* Villa have scored the fewest goals (12) in the PL this season.
* Villa's three centre-halves attempted a massive 44 clearances v Stoke on Saturday. They were successful with 24.
* Fernando Torres has hit the target 16 times in five games under Rafa Benitez. He hit the target just 20 times in the previous 19 games under Roberto Di Matteo.
* Eden Hazard registered a PL assist v Sunderland for the first time since October v Spurs.
* Ramires has made more tackles per game (3.1) this season than John Obi Mikel (2.6).
* Nikica Jelavic's 90th-minute winner v Spurs was his first and only shot of the game. Apostolos Vellios' assist for that goal was his only completed pass of the game.
* More crosses were attempted by Everton full-backs Leighton Baines and Seamus Coleman (13) than the rest of the team put together (12) v Tottenham.
* The scorers of the first goal have gone on to win the game only six times in 16 Everton games this season.
* Fulham have not lost a PL game in which they were leading at half-time since April 2010.
* Steve Sidwell has made 24 tackles in Fulham's last three PL games v Chelsea, Tottenham and Newcastle.
* Chris Baird has made more interceptions per game (3.8) than any other PL player this season.
* All five of Liverpool's wins this season have come against teams currently in the bottom half of the PL table.
* The Reds have recorded back-to-back PL wins for the first time since December 2011.
* Makeshift striker Jonjo Shelvey has had 21 shots this season without scoring a PL goal.
* In the last four PL games started by Mario Balotelli and Sergio Aguero in tandem, no goals have been scored until one of the pair has been substituted.
* Carlos Tévez had more shots in 38 minutes (5) than any other City player v Manchester United.
* Gaël Clichy made six tackles and six interceptions v United on Sunday.
* No PL players have scored or assisted more goals than either Robin van Persie (15) or Wayne Rooney (13) this season.
* United scored with all three of their shots on target v City on Sunday.
* Rooney has followed Alan Shearer, Andy Cole, Robbie Fowler, Thierry Henry and Frank Lampard past the 150-goal mark in the Premier League.
* Newcastle United
* Newcastle have failed to win any of the last 61 PL games in which they have been trailing at half-time.
* They were out-tackled 25-19 by Fulham with midfield pair Cheik Tioté and Vurnon Anita making only two tackles each.
* Papiss Cisse has had just three shots on target in his last six PL games.
* Only Manchester United (21) have picked up more points than Norwich (16) over the last eight games.
* Robert Snodgrass became the first PL player to record two or more assists and a goal in one game this season when Norwich beat Swansea 4-3 on Saturday.
* Only Stoke and Reading have recorded lower average possession than Norwich (42.5%) this season. They had only 33% possession at Swansea on Saturday but still won 4-3.
* QPR have now gone 22 away games in the Premier League without a win.
* Esteban Granero attempted more crosses (5) in his 13 minutes on the pitch than any other QPR player throughout the game.
* Adel Taarabt was dispossessed six times v Wigan on Saturday.
* Reading have the lowest possession (40.7%) and pass accurarcy (68.9%) stats in the Premier League.
* Adam Le Fondre completed four passes in 90 minutes v Southampton on Saturday.
* If games ended after 45 minutes, Reading would be sitting pretty in tenth place - just a point behind Arsenal.
* Luke Shaw made six tackles, six interceptions and six effective clearances v Reading on Saturday.
* Saints have conceded just four goals in six PL games started by Shaw.
* They have picked up 14 points from eight games against bottom-half sides this season. That's a better record than Arsenal, Swansea and Everton.
* Stoke City
* Stoke have played 168 PL games. They have scored 168 goals.
* They had only two shots v Aston Villa on Saturday and neither was on target.
* Only three established outfield players in the PL (Carlton Cole, Steve Morison and Noel Hunt) have a worse pass completion rate than Peter Crouch (59.3%).
* Sunderland have won two of their last 23 Premier League games.
* James McClean attempted 12 crosses v Chelsea but none reached a Sunderland player.
* Sunderland were out-tackled 26-20 by Chelsea on Saturday.
* Michu is now out in front in the Golden Boot charts with 12 PL goals. He has taken only 48 shots.
* Ki Sung-Yueng has taken more shots (24) than any other PL player this season without scoring a goal.
* Swansea have scored only seven of their 26 goals in the firs halves of PL games this season.
* Tottenham have thrown away a massive 16 points from winning positions this season. Those points would put them top of the table.
* Emmanuel Adebayor was dispossessed seven times v Everton and did not have a single shot.
* Gylfi Sigurdsson has now had 23 shots in the PL for Tottenham without scoring a goal.
* The Baggies have picked up only one point (v Tottenham) from a losing position this season.
* They have lost three PL games in a row for the first time since January.
* Their first and only shot on target against Arsenal came in the 86th minute.
* Mark Noble has created more chances (25) than any other PL player without being credited with an assist this season. He also made a massive seven tackles v Liverpool.
* Matthew Jarvis attempted more crosses (16) than passes (11) in 90 minutes v Liverpool on Sunday.
* The Hammers have picked up just five points from a possible 24 against top-half sides this season.
* Wigan's James McCarthy has a better pass completion rate (89%) than either Mousa Dembélé (88.9%) or Michael Carrick (88.7%) this season. He found a teammate with nine of his ten long passes v QPR as well as scoring two goals.
* Jean Beausejour puts in more accurate crosses per game (1.8) than Gareth Bale (1.6) or Luis Antonio Valencia (1.4). He recorded his third assist of the season v QPR.
* Arouna Koné has not scored in his last five PL games. He was dispossessed five times v QPR on Saturday.