With questions and concerns growing at one end of the pitch over Wayne Rooney, the form of Matteo Darmian must relieve Manchester United fans. All praise Mr. Dependable...
That's the general consensus in a bumper Mailbox, which says we have reached 'Peak Brendan'. Also, Arsenal don't need a striker, and is Klopp being lined up by Chelsea?
What they need: Even if Danny Graham (recently solely referred to as 'the unsettled Danny Graham') doesn't leave for pastures more first-teamy, they could do with another forward. Graham's position in the side has been threatened, and indeed taken on many occasions by the splendid Michu, but other than that striking options are a little thin for Michael Laudrup.
What they're likely to get: Someone like Celta Vigo forward Iago Aspas is a realistic shout, and possibly a left-back to take some of the heat off young Ben Davies, at least while Neil Taylor is still missing. Marcus Alonso has been mentioned.
What's been said? Michael Laudrup: "He (Aspas) is a very good player. I know him, but to say he is coming here is a big step. We have a list of players for every position that we have drawn up in the last three or four months. There are a lot of things going on."
What they need: As was written here, Tottenham's main problems seem to be a slight lack of creativity, and a lack of cover in wide areas. Spurs fans will no doubt dream of a deal for Joao Moutinho being revived, but whether that's realistic or not is unclear. In the absence of Benoit Assou-Ekotto they've had to make-do, but the signing of Zeki Fryers with some classic Daniel Levy jiggery-pokery (Fryers left Manchester United after his contract expired and signed for Standard Liege, who paid much less compensation than Spurs would've had to, now he magically turns up at the Lane) might fill that spot.
What they're likely to get: If you believe Andre Villas-Boas, not a great deal. He claimed after the recent win over Reading that there would be few incomings or outgoings, but he did take the time to comment on a few long-standing targets (see below), so who knows what joys could occur. Furthermore, the announcement of Lewis Holtby's arrival in the summer suggests no significant sums will be spent on a midfielder this month.
What's been said? Andre Villas-Boas: "We got in touch with Willian (in the summer) and he is one of the players that interests us. I like his style, but we could not reach the value Shakhtar were asking. It does not mean we won't try again. For Damiao, he had a spectacular Olympics. We follow the best players and youngsters. Leandro fits this profile. He has had injuries after London 2012, but he is a player that is always on our list."
What they need: That depends on their ambition. If the Baggies want to build on their strong start and continue to push for a European place, Steve Clarke may want to add one or two faces to a team that has two wins in the last eight games. West Brom will need to replace Romelu Lukaku if Chelsea recall the striker, while Clarke will want to add a midfielder to his squad if Graham Dorrans departs.
What they're likely to get: It sounds as though Clarke isn't planning to make any new signings this month with West Brom performing above all expectations this season. The Baggies may look at loaning one or two players, but they'll be quite happy to continue as they are.
What's been said? Steve Clarke: "I don't think it's a good time for business. It's a month you can use if needed. But I'm hopeful that we will not use the transfer window at all. I've got a really good squad of players here and if I'm left with that squad the other side of January, then I'll be happy."
What they need: West Ham have already completed most of their business, with Joe Cole returning on a free transfer and Marouane Chamakh arriving on loan from Arsenal. Sam Allardyce likes to wheel and deal, though, and may look to add a couple more before the window closes. A move for Blackburn left-back Martin Olsson is expected.
What they're likely to get: There's a good chance Olsson will sign if Allardyce follows up his interest with a bid for the Sweden international, while it wouldn't be a surprise to see the Hammers add another striker to their already bloated ranks.
What's been said? Sam Allardyce: "If they have made Martin available I would definitely be interested because I worked with the lad at Blackburn when I was there for two years. We'll need to find a left back as quick as we can. Joey O'Brien has a tight hamstring and George McCartney is out for a number of weeks. So our left back area is a little weak at the moment."
What they need: Ideally, a whole new defence would be handy. Whether it's a consequence of Roberto Martinez's rather gung-ho style and three-man backline, or just that the three men are utter pap, is unclear. What is clear is that their 'goals against' column isn't pretty, with only Reading and Aston Villa having shipped more goals this season. As ever a proper striker would be nice, but whether their budget allows that remains to be seen. If they really wanted to push the boat out, how about asking Villa for a borrow of Darren Bent?
What they're likely to get: The usual collection of bargains from Honduras and other such far-flung places, probably. Although Angelo Henriquez has already been recruited from just up the road. At least one more defender must come in, quite possibly from the Championship. Handily, excellent Middlesbrough centre-back Rhys Williams has just returned from injury...
What's been said? Roberto Martinez: "We can't afford to lose Franco (Di Santo) or anyone else just now...In our case, these next five or six matches could be the most important five or six games in the club's history."
Matt Stanger and Nick Miller