The Stressful Life Of An Arsenal Fan

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Arsenal
The relief after Santi Cazorla gave Arsenal their win against Aston Villa last weekend was so tangible you could catch it with a net. That's what following Arsenal has basically become this season - a continual knot in the stomach, followed by very occasional highs, occasional weeping lows, but more often than not sweet relief.

"To beat them and get into the top four and the Champions League, which is our aim for the season, is essential," said Cazorla ahead of the north London derby. And he wasn't kidding.

Should Spurs win, they will go seven points clear of their rivals, with Arsenal potentially five points away from fourth spot (assuming Chelsea beat West Brom). It won't seal their top-four fate, but to bridge such a gap with only ten games of the season remaining will take an effort that doesn't seem particularly likely from this Arsenal side.

The good news for Arsene Wenger is that, if they can escape from White Hart Lane relatively unscathed, their run-in is reasonably kind. Manchester United visit in April, but other than that they face nine very winnable games - their toughest other fixtures are against a faltering Everton, and away to Newcastle on the final day. Spurs, on the other hand, still have to travel to Liverpool and Chelsea, while Manchester City are due at the Lane on April 20.

Sky will obviously be giving this game 'the big one', but this time their shouty, ADHD world may have a ring of truth. This is arguably Arsenal's biggest game of the season, and given that they have barely showed up for a couple of others that might have been billed as such this season (United away, Bayern at home), those knots in Gooner bellies will be growing and growing before Sunday.


Carl Jenkinson/whoever is in Gareth Bale's line of sight
We had a rather curious e-mail sent to the Mailbox this week, in which a reader criticised Bale for only targeting the worst players in an opponent's defence.

Quite why identifying the weak points of any team he faces and exploiting them was a criticism, we weren't entirely sure. It's true, Bale does look for the weak spots, and it's working really quite well for him at the moment. Part of his vaguely 'roaming' role behind the striker at Spurs is exactly about looking for areas to pick apart, and one suspects he will have plenty to keep him busy against Arsenal on Sunday.

Carl Jenkinson will play at right-back after Bacary Sagna was ruled out (not the worst news in the world for Arsenal given Sagna's form, but Jenkinson isn't quite Lilian Thuram yet), while two of Laurent Koscielny, Thomas Vermaelen and Per Mertesacker will be in the middle. All three of those have their weak points that Bale can attack, with Gooner blood running cold at the thought of the Welshman bearing down on Mertesacker. Boy, that could get ugly.

The Bale hype is reaching silly levels, but there is a reason - he is already pretty special, with the potential to be quite a bit more than that. He's in the 'zone' at the moment, and against an Arsenal defence that has hardly been watertight, well...The Daily Mail's hyperbole-o-matic might be cranked up a notch further on Monday.


Andre Villas-Boas
One of the more interesting things about Villas-Boas's tenure at Spurs has been his defensive rotation. Six different central defensive partnerships have been used this season, partly due to injuries to various players, but often just because Villas-Boas fancies playing around with a position that most traditionalists should tell you not to play around with.

It seems to be working out okay so far, but Villas-Boas must get his decision right against Arsenal.

He favoured Jan Vertonghen to Benoit Assou-Ekotto at left-back against West Ham, presumably as a counter to Sam Allardyce's robust style, but will he do the same against Theo Walcott? Villas-Boas tailors his defence to suit the opposition, which could be a slightly risky strategy, but he's largely been right so far. Spurs fans will hope he's correct on Saturday as well.


Chelsea
It is 2.25pm on Thursday. At the time of writing, the official line on the Chelsea interim manager is that all is well, everything is normal and absolutely nothing is awry. Rafa Benitez will be in charge for the game against West Brom on Saturday, and anything to the contrary is just piffle and scaremongering. Of course, there's plenty of time between now and 3pm on Saturday, especially in the little world that Chelsea have created.

Logically, it seems a bit pointless for Roman Abramovich to get rid of Benitez now. Sure, Chelsea are in danger of missing out on the Champions League, but will a new manager have time to actually make any impact?

Of course, logic and Chelsea do not always mesh well - Abramovich seems to go from whim to whim like a fickle child, desperately wanting the latest Thing one week, then casting it aside when a New Thing appears. He makes snap decisions and some of them work, some don't - if he throws enough sh*t and money against the wall, eventually some of it will stick. Or something.

Benitez's rant/perfectly measured critique/headline-fodder (delete as applicable) should have no impact on Abramovich's decision, or otherwise, to keep his interim. He said nothing particularly mutinous, nothing that would paint the club in a worse light than they already are in - he just mildly embarrassed his boss, and pissed off a set of supporters that were already pretty pissed off.

Who knows what will happen to Benitez. It certainly now doesn't matter whether he actually wins any games, and this is where it's dangerous for Chelsea. So who knows what will happen? The only thing that's certain is it's going to be pretty funny for the rest of us.


Harry Redknapp
"I think we need 20 points from our final 12 games to give ourselves a chance, to be honest," said Harry a couple of weeks ago.

"If someone offered me 37 points now I'd probably take my chance and think that would be enough."

That was before the Manchester United game, so now the target is 20 points from 11 - a tall order for a team with only two wins and 17 points from their first 27 games. The good news for QPR is they have a run of fixtures that you wouldn't so much call 'winnable', more 'if you don't get anything from this lot, you have no place in this league, so get out'.

The trip to Southampton on Saturday is followed by Sunderland at home, Aston Villa away then Wigan at home. The need to win three, and probably realistically all four of those, is emphasised when one considers their last three games - against Arsenal, Newcastle and Liverpool.

The truth is, the jig is probably already up, but there is still a chance. That chance will probably be gone if they can't get a positive result from St Mary's.

An interesting sideshow to QPR's survival hopes is that this will be the first time that Redknapp has returned to Southampton since leaving them 12th in the Championship in 2005, having taken them down the previous season. That he might not be received entirely positively didn't escape Mauricio Pochettino, who said on Thursday: "I respect the fans' wishes for Saturday and I want to use the atmosphere in a positive way."


Mauricio Pochettino
Speaking of the Southampton boss, he has now been in charge for five games, only winning one. Of course, it's a short amount of time, and those five games have featured two draws and two creditable performances in the two defeats, but the Saints are actually now a place lower than they were when Pochettino arrived.

He needs a couple of wins to fully reassure everyone that Nicola Cortese's gamble in removing the popular Nigel Adkins was worthwhile. Fortunately, their next two games are against QPR and Norwich, so they should get at least one victory.


Swansea
Of course, this season is already a success for Michael Laudrup and his trophy-winning men, but there is a danger of Swansea cruising from this point. They're ninth in the league - last season they missed out on a top-half finish on goal difference, and it would be a shame if they repeated that.

Actually, if they do too well in the remaining 11 games, the head-hunters from Europe's big boys might pay even closer attention to their handsome manager and whisk him away, despite his protestations to the contrary. So forget that first bit - lose every game from this point, you probably won't go down, so there's no need to do something silly like allow Michael to slip from your embrace.


Stoke
Now bottom of the Premier League form table, Stoke have just one win in the last eight, but have somehow stayed in exactly the same position.

The criticism of Tony Pulis has been increasing in recent months, with many frustrated that Stoke seem perfectly happy with their plateau, perfectly happy to finish lower/mid-table every season and chug along, when they have the capacity to do so much more.

And this latest run appears to back that up - if they're in the worst form of anyone in the Premier League but haven't dropped in the table, what could they achieve if they actually started winning some games.

When they aren't forearm smashing opponents for no particular reason, Stoke have the potential to be a really quite good team. It's therefore not surprising that some are getting restless about their inertia.


West Ham
By virtue of at least three other clubs being worse than them, West Ham will probably be okay this season. But it's not a certainty. Indeed, they have lost five of their last seven, and have fallen from sixth in November to 14th now.

In addition, they have plenty of injury issues ahead of the trip to Stoke. Guy Demel, Mark Noble, James Tomkins and perhaps most importantly Kevin Nolan are all doubtful, leaving Sam Allardyce a little light on options.

The smart money will be a on a gritty, 1-0 win for Stoke, something that, depending on results elsewhere, could see the Hammers slip down to just two places outside the relegation zone. Worrying stuff.


Liverpool
After the defeat to Zenit St Petersburg in the Europa League, a respectable league position is all Liverpool have to play for now. And 'respectable' means qualifying for the Europa League - i.e. fifth or possibly sixth place, depending on who wins the FA Cup.

The problem there is Arsenal are eight points ahead in fifth and looking up, while Everton are three up with the Merseyside derby to come. The good news for Liverpool is that the Toffees are slipping, but overhauling them does rely on a certain degree of consistency from Brendan Rodgers's team, who haven't managed more than two wins in a row all season.


David Moyes
Just one win in the last six for Everton now. It would be hugely irritating if Everton reversed their season this term - a strong start ruined by a weak finish, as opposed to a weak start and strong finish, as has characterised their campaigns in the past.

Nick Miller - follow him on Twitter