Roy Hodgson is asked the perfect question, Mr Grumpypants is back, Jamie Redknapp hates making comparisons. Plus Ace-watch, you lucky things...
Those of us who support lowly clubs can find it difficult to imagine the fuss made over two defeats suffered by a goliath. Will this weekend's Copa offer some respite?
The creeping world of Financial Fair Play has changed the theory behind transfer market activity as clubs increasingly look to buy low and sell high to safeguard their futures.
Although the desire to find players who can have an immediate impact remains constant, the concept of resale value is governing clubs' thinking more than ever. It is the reason Sunderland have spent very little but bought in bulk this summer, why Swansea continue to pursue affordable La Liga talent and why Manchester United would be better off spending £15m on 25-year-old Fabio Coentrao than 28-year-old Leighton Baines.
The shift in focus has seen many clubs take calculated gambles on unproven players who could generate healthy profit margins two or three years down the line. Paolo Di Canio may find that the likes of Valentin Roberge and Cabral lack the ability to compete in the Premier League, but if just one signing impresses enough to entice a sizeable offer the Black Cats' underwhelming business so far will have been worth it.
Of course, this is not an entirely new trend and Arsenal's acquisition of France Under-20 international Yaya Sanogo serves as a reminder that Arsene Wenger has set the tone for such shrewd operation. That the Gunners are still able to attract fees for underperforming or underused players has clearly appealed to other clubs who are now following suit.
Of the new school Swansea are perhaps the perfect proponents of such a business model, carefully re-investing the £15m they received from Liverpool for Joe Allen last summer in four mid-price signings. Although Pablo Hernandez and Ki Sung-Yueng have failed to build significantly on their reputations, the value of both Michu and Chico Flores - both acquired for around £2m - has rocketed after just a single season in England.
It's for this reason - as well as Michael Laudrup kicking up a fuss - that the Swans have continued to invest heavily this summer, snapping up four new players - three of which are just 21 - for a total of £8.5m. There is a strong chance that both Spanish Under-21 international Jordi Amat and England cap Jonjo Shelvey will eventually leave the Liberty Stadium for more than which they arrived, while even a proposed £12m outlay on Wilfried Bony will appear a sensible investment should the 24-year-old follow in Michu's footsteps.
Newcastle have recently enjoyed similar success in the transfer market and the princely sums they can demand for Yohan Cabaye and Hatem Ben Arfa would more than cover their outlay on five new recruits in January. That the Magpies have long been linked with a move for Darren Bent but have thus far deemed his wages and age to be at odds with their new approach (whether Joe Kinnear will continue in that vein is yet to be seen) underlines the increasing importance of resale value as clubs become conscious of financial constraints.
Of course, Europe's nouveau riche have flagrantly ignored UEFA's warnings thus far - much to Malaga's detriment - but while Man City, Chelsea, PSG and Monaco continue to flaunt their wealth, the lesser-weights shrewdly advertise their wares for inflated fees. This imperative solution to ending boom and bust transfer market activity may lead to new signings moving on quicker than intended, but by considering resale value clubs at least ensure they can generate healthy profits in a relatively short space of time.
Matt Stanger - he's on the Twitter.