One Mailboxer may have spent lunch in the pub in suggesting Van Persie could go back to Arsenal. Also, some Premier League meh-ing and a fine Acewatch suggestion...
Roy Hodgson is asked the perfect question, Mr Grumpypants is back, Jamie Redknapp hates making comparisons. Plus Ace-watch, you lucky things...
If you have anything to add on any subject, mail us at email@example.com
Swallowing Pardew Whole
Can I just congratulate Joseph in this morning's mailbox for swallowing Pardew's complaint hook, line and sinker? All it took was Pardew to say Cabaye's head wasn't in the game and Joseph is convinced it's a footballer being greedy and not doing a shift for his vast pay.
Of course it's possible that this is Newcastle spin. After all according to Pardew Arsenal made a bid right before the game, when plenty of in-the-know (yeah, yeah) Arsenal reporters claim the bid was made Friday and it's Newcastle that made it public just before the game. It's also possible Cabaye said he'd be interested in a move, and then Newcastle sent him home as a punishment.
If you're incredulous that a well-paid footballer can't possibly cope with a game just because he's got a chance at a better paid job, then maybe it's because it's just not that credible. We have to put up with manager and club bullshit so often simply because so many people take it as gospel.
It gets on my tits a bit.
Hope Powell For The Men's Game?
So I see that Hope Powell has been given the old heave-ho after England's women's team crashed out of the recent Euro tournament.
I'll say up front that I'd be surprised if it did happen, but I for one think it would be excellent to see her given a crack at club (or country) management in the men's game - she has an impressive CV (certainly compared to her recent male counterparts at "Team England") and I think a lot of the skills and experience that she has are entirely transferrable between the women's and men's game.
Not sure if the "jolly boys club" that seems to govern men's football is ready for a female team manager, but given that the FA are (semi-regularly) banging the drum on equality and non-discrimination in football, having a high profile female manager involved in the men's game, to go alongside high profile female officials such as Sian Massey, would be a huge step forward.
Terry Hall, Switzerland
Just seen the Arsenal squad announced for the Fenerbahce game. I actually think we can win the tie. Is there something wrong with me?
Adonis Stevenson, AFC
Another Arteta Might Be A Good Thing
David in this mornings mailbox complains about trying to get Cabaye, and partly because he is the "French Arteta". Arteta being a brilliant player this should not be a negative thing, especially when everyone complains that we have no backup for Arteta and now that we try to get someone who can take his place and is younger than him (27 vs 31) we complain. We need backup for him because we can't win games without him. Our win % with him in the BPL is 65% but without him it's 20%. The entire 11/12 season we didn't win a game without him until WBA on the last game of the season and one of our biggest fears last season was what would happen if he got injured? Cabaye isn't the new messiah for Arsenal and wont save us from whatever our doom is singe handedly but you cant whine about us trying to buy someone we actually need.
A relatively positive Gooner (We'll sign someone, but it will probably be Flamini)
I believe I have managed to pull together various random threads and decipher the fabric of truth behind Man Utds summer of transfer intrigue.
It can be tediously put down to one man, not David Moyes but Cristiano Ronaldo. Before you bang your head against the wall and transform it into a bloody stump of bone and mangled flesh consider the following seemingly unconnected facts.....
1) Ferguson was asked before he quit if United would continue their recent transfer policy in the summer and he replied "I think there will be a sea change this year and we will spend alot on one player" (or words to that effect, i cant find the bloody quote now)
2) In February Manchester United entered into an exclusive 6 month negotiation period with Nike over renewing their shirt sponsorship. That period ends on September 1.
3) Nikes poster boy is Ronaldo who is currently pictured every day wearing an Adidas top
4) United have made a bunch of ludicrously low bids for players all summer, almost like they have no money
5) Wayne Rooney wants to leave the club yet hasn't taken to the twitterverse even once to make his intentions clear
6) Gareth Bale is about to move to Real for a world record sum to play in a team who wont need him!
7) Real sold Higuan but havent replaced him leaving them with only Benzema as a decent striking option.
8) Tony Valencia has been mysteriously stripped of the number 7 shirt this season and it currently sits empty....
Pulling all these threads together it is obvious that:
To annouce their new billion pound deal with Nike in September, United will be signing Nike poster boy Ronaldo helped by Nike who will cough up a pretty penny towards the cost. Real will obviously want more for Ronny than they are going to pay for Bale which even with Nikes help Utd cant pay sooooooo, Rooney has been told hes moving to Madrid as part of the deal but hes not allowed to break the news, thus explaining his weird ass attitude and why Real have thus far not bought another striker.This is obviously accounting for United's entire transfer kitty forcing them to beg other clubs to be nice and give them top quality stuff for peanuts.
So, watch out for United vs Liverpool on September 1 where you will see the return of Ronny in the fabled No7 shirt while Bale and Rooney bugger off to Madrid.
Next week.......the truth behind Lord Lucan's disappearance.
Warren (the prophet) Batt, Madrid
The Futility Of Existence
I just have one question to another mailboxer, if you will permit it Mr/Ms Compiler, to Chris, MUFC; why do you support Manchester United?
I've read the mailbox on most days since I first discovered the site, and I invariably end up reading something you've written, but I can't for the life of me find anything which you actually like about United.
You're quick to dismiss our successes and highlight our failures (no matter how big or small), you don't have much respect for our current squad ("too poor, too unbalanced, and too old") or Sir Alex ("...after the vacillation and downright idiocy of much of Fergie's transfer policy post-2008..."), and have shown very little other than disdain for our current manager (this morning's mail aside, I can only assume you were drunk when you wrote in).
It's not a dig at you; I just don't understand what you get out of supporting a club you're so quick to criticise so frequently. If you could enlighten us it would really be appreciated.
More On Chris
Ok F365, you didn't post my last reply to Chris MUFC and there was also no reactionary from anyone else on what he said yesterday, which leads me to believe that you ignored them all.
Chris, Fergie's transfer policy wasn't the total shambles that you seem to be suggesting, whilst he purchased some piss poor players since 08 (Bebe) he also purchased Van Persie, Kagawa, Phil Jones, De Gea, Javier Hernandez, Chris Smalling and also adding prospects such as Angelo Henriquez, Nick Powell, Wilfried Zaha and Paul Pogba. That list hardly screams "downright idiocy" to me.
Furthermore, you seem to endorse Moyes' transfer policy of over analyzing every player he is interested with, however, in my opinion I quite liked how Fergie got Utd's transfer business done quite early in the window rather than faffing around. This isn't a criticism on Moyes this is just a criticism on how you seem to dismiss Fergie's transfer policy in favour of the David Moyes approach which I, so far, haven't been impressed with.
"City and Chelsea can afford to invest £30m in a player, with £200k per week wages, and simply buy a replacement if it doesn't work out well. United don't have that luxury." .......... We have RVP on close to 200k a week and he was bought for 24m last season? Also we have a certain Mr Wayne Rooney on 230k a week.
P.S we also offered 30m for Fabregas, but I'm assuming you think we'd pay his wages in magic beans?
It looks as if Willian will pick Tottenham over Liverpool. As a Liverpool fan, I was initially upset about this. Bang goes probably our last chance of a marquee signing this summer and Spurs' place above us in the current pecking order is reconfirmed. But then I found some reasons to look on the bright side:
1) We don't need Willian - winger/attacking midfielder is the best stocked area of our squad with Coutinho, Aspas, Sterling, Luis Alberto, Assaidi (who I actually rate) all decent players. We also have Suso, a good prospect, out on loan. If there's one position we don't need to strengthen, it's this one.
2) €30m seems a lot of money. I don't know much about Russian football, but I feel safe in assuming the standard is at least a bit below the top 3 European leagues. So he has to come with more risk than somebody who's proved himself in a top league. His 21 goals in 151 games in Russia also suggest he hasn't set the world on fire there. And the fact that he's only played twice for Brazil also counts against him. Yes he's only 25, and yes competition to get in the Brazil team is tougher than other countries, but Lucas is only a year older and has 20 Brazil caps. How much of that €30m are Spurs paying for the name, hairstyle and nationality?
3) We need to spend the money elsewhere. A centre back with pace and good passing and a striker who can finish should be higher priority. It's a long shot, but if we could persuade Swansea to part with Michu and Ashley Williams for £30m, it would be a much bigger boost than getting Willian.
4) It was annoying when Spurs beat us to Clint Dempsey in the last transfer window and look how that turned out for them.
Tom Springbett, LFC
In response to Patrick John (They could probably do with a centre half mind) if there was a better example of how clubs get ripped off buying English players, I can think of a better one.
City paid £6 million for Kompany and £22 million for Lescott.
A Slightly More Conservative Six
With the Bale to Madrid sage seemingly nearing a conclusion, I think a F365 sweepstake is on order. How many of the national newspapers will be claiming that Bale's transfer to Madrid was 'exclusively' revealed by themselves earlier this summer? I'm going with 8.
The Treatment Of Players
Yes fair point Joseph, but maybe if Newcastle gave some of their homegrown underage players a chance instead of kicking them out (showing no loyalty) and buying the half of France, Newcastle United Football Club may deserve some loyalty.
Cop on. Players are treated like crap by clubs.
A Vision Of Future Hell
Now that we've had confirmation that at least one of the rags is going with "Pelle" as the City boss' pun generator for the season/duration of his stay, here are a few predictions:
Assuming it is pronounced "PELL":
- For whom the PELLE tolls (some nonsense about players being dropped)
- Rodwell PELLE hell (some nonsense about Jacky boy not getting a look in)
- PELLES like team spirit (some nonsense about things going well in the dressing room)
- PELLE'S belles (some nonsense about Manuel admitting that he selects his teams based on the prettiest players)
Assuming it is pronounced "PELLY":
- PELLE vision (some nonsense about his plans for the club)
- PELLE save-allas (some nonsense about him saving Kevin Mirallas from drowning or something...)
- PELLE buttin' (some nonsense about him getting in strife after headbutting Geoff Shreeves in a post-match interview)
- PELLE the elephant (some nonsense in the Daily Mail about him looking a bit chubby on the beach)
Feel free to chip in with any more suggestions, and a scoring system for when they appear...
Dave (can Everton already be called the 'draw specialists' of the league?) Allen, IOM
Is anyone else out there driven to fury by the term "recycling the ball" most recently used by Steve Bradley in this morning's mailbox? It's surely the most annoying of the new age and seemingly largely superfluous phrases such as false 9, double pivots or formations described with 4 (just about acceptable) or 5 (never acceptable) numbers e.g 4-2-1-2-1.
Recycling means using something again once it's already been used - if the ball hasn't been put in the goal I'd say it can't be recycled, unless its got a puncture and is going in your brown bin. The fact this phrase tends to mostly be used describing Carrick and Barry leads me to believe it's a fancy way of saying solid/reliable for midfielders who make plenty of short passes but rarely score, assist, tackle or head - at least two of which I think any decent midfielder should be doing.
Dave T, Spurs (Don't get me started on the word hipster)