That's the question asked by one Arsenal fan, pointing out that they do pay him £52,000 a week. Plus penis stories, Spurs' consistency Arjen Robben and Manchego cheese...
With both English clubs in need of a Toca's Miracle away at Bayern Munich and Barcelona this week, Daniel Storey picks ten comebacks from Champions League history to inspire them...
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Has anyone asked the question why did Sir Alex Ferguson felt the need to do the whole 'get behind the manager' speech?
He obviously knew David Moyes was an inadequate replacement there and then as I can't imagine him feeling compelled to give such a plea had a big name such as Mourinho or Klopp been given the job.
And can everyone stop with the 'Utd should sign x and y this January' please. No player of any real quality or self-worth would join them right now.
Yes they are a big club but are on the kind of downward spiral that saw the once mighty Liverpool go 20+ years without a title
Ricci (back into the wake-work-sleep cycle)
Bring Back Quieroz
I've tried to resist writing about Man United's woes this season (what do you mean this isn't a hot-wire that isn't actioned automatically). But hey, here are my thoughts...
It's a sad case all round; players look disinterested, Moyes looks lost... just to think only a week ago they were 6 wins on the bounce. There doesn't seem to be an obvious plan for the team other than laboured wing play followed by a disappointing cross, let alone a strategy for going behind.
It doesn't need repeating which deadwood from the squad needs clearing, most of the defence is past it's sell by date and the rest look a liability. But yet I'm confident that with one person they could have a transformative effect... come on down Carlos Queiroz. This man was the puppet master behind our European cup in '08, he's regarded as one of the best trainer in football (players speak so much of how they enjoy his sessions), plus he seem a bloody nice bloke.
I don't care which footballing backwater he's currently working in*, kidnap him if you have to, even if he has half the noticeable effect of his previous spells it would be a vast improvement. Honestly, I feel for the current backroom staff, it was a brave decision to bring them in and I'm sure they're really valued (De Gea speaks excellently of Chris Woods for example, he's been our best player) but clearly something isn't working. In an ideal world I'd have liked to have seen Moyes as assistant to SAF for his last season, the benefits of this would have been obvious - alas. For me Mr Q would be like the Wolf in Pulp Fiction - calm, knowledgeable & good with a hacksaw.
We all know what a fickle game this is, a huge amount of it depends on the players mental state (ie. can change with the wind). Yes, a creative player in the middle of the park is sorely needed (sorry Shinji, you've failed the audition) and we always knew that Moyes would need time. To me this seems so obvious, I need to check no one's thought of it.
*balls! I just found that he's taken Iran to Brazil - fat chance for my idea then. Still fond of the guy tho.
Quit Being Eurocentric
With all the fuss going on about a Winter/Summer World Cup, most of said fuss is from EUROPEAN countries, but this being a WORLD CUP, shouldnt the thoughts and opinions of the rest of us count for something?
All Ive read about the past few days is how a winter WC is going to disrupt European leagues. As it is, the WC in itself is an unfair tournament representation wise, with Africa getting 5 places only, Asia getting 4/5 places too, while Europe gets 13. Yes, I understand it's because Europe's leagues are more developed and what not, but you can't have your cake and eat it too, or can you?
Let's all stop whining and whinging, suck it up and move on. It's only going to happen once, and hey,. who's to say it won't be a success, enabling other countries to replicate it, allowing more countries to bid for the right to host a WC, meaning it can truly live up to its name of being a WORLD tournament.
There's more to the world than just Europe you know.
No Problems With Winter WC
It has dawned upon me that, once I get over my dislike for the ineffective FIFA and the burdensome costs relating to the whole matter of hosting a World Cup (a somewhat poisoned chalice, I fear), a winter World Cup could be amazing for the Premier League and for that matter many other top leagues.
Imagine it. The players have to leave for the training/build-up and then the competition whilst, in the meantime, the league and local cup competitions continue. All clubs respect the departure of players (which will presumably be compensated in some form by FIFA and the respective FAs) and, best of all, the league gets evened out. Even in La Liga the dominance of Real and Barca comes to a halt as their B-teams are faced with matches against the A-team of teams like Getafe and, back home, what is left of Man City are the underdogs in a match against the predominantly full-strength sides of West Ham (if they are not relegated) or even Burnley. A unique Season of football and a long-awaiting exposure to what youth can do when equipped with repeated starts to matches.
C'mon! How can anybody object to this? It would be good for the spectator, the neutral, a wider range of clubs and good for development of new/young players. And for the record, I'm not being self-serving here - I'm a Spurs fan (a team comprising loads of internationals who can't even do very well at full strength) and so, depleted by the World Cup, we would clearly get humbled even more than we are currently!
...I'm very confused as to why this World Cup in the summer issue is an issue at all.
Let's say it was played in the summer as per normal, you are left with players playing right through until the beginning of July and then starting their domestic campaign in August as per normal every time a world cup swings around. So surely this is the same as extending the the European leagues for an extra month to make up for the time lost due to a winter WC. The end result is going to be the same in regards to length of a preseason.
Spanish players went 4 seasons playing right through every summer and it didn't affect them too much!
John Whelan, Dublin
More Available XIs
Following on, which club has the best 'kicking their heels this summer' XI? Based on current first team squads and excluding players who will miss out through injury.
I reckon that team would give Man City's (five defenders, two DMs and a keeper playing outfield) a good go. Maybe keeping the league going wouldn't be such a bad idea...
Jon Gibson LFC
...Enjoying the world cup discussions about continuing the league while the world cup is on. Thought I would look at what Chelsea's team would look like were there to be a winter world cup right now, with some rapid loan recalls as well! I have assumed recent call ups mean a member is unavailable. I'm keeping Piazon though... Despite Chelsea being completely destroyed, I think it would make the league that much more interesting. With enough notice about the plans, it could make some nations players that much more valuable as well!
Van Aanholt, Terry, Kalas, Ivanovic
Piazon, McEachran, Romeu, Chalobah, Marin
Pretty weak I am sure you will agree. Made so much worse if Czech republic or Serbia or Senegal had qualified. The unavailable list is scary though!!
Courtois, Cahill, Cole, David Luiz, Azpilicueta, Willian, Van Ginkel, Essien, Mikel, De Bruyne, E Hazard, Lampard, Ramires, Mata ,Oscar, Schurle, Moses, Atsu , Lukaku, Torres, Eto'o.
Adam CFC (please can people stop referring to teams as "beloved", it makes me sick in my mouth a little)
If the major football nations boycott the world cup, would England have a much better chance of winning it? Or would we still go out in the quarter finals?
Has anyone other than a tabloid journalist ever actually used the word 'boffin'?
Did anyone expect an answer to the opera thing from anyone other than a Chelsea or Fulham fan?
West Ham Rant
We all laughed at Wenger for not having a plan B but at least his plan A was pretty awesome...Big Fat Sam's plan A is Wenger's plan ZZ.
We're a joke. I honestly thought when Gold n Sullivan took over they would (at the very least) make us a sellable club to a rich oil baron or someone of that ilk. From the outside looking in it seems like they're on a roller coaster with no safety bars and they're hanging on for their lives!
I'd sack BFS. Get in a young manager along the lines of Rodgers, Solskjear, Lambert etc. and spend how ever many years it takes to find out what our philosophy as a football club is. No one is gonna tell me Swansea are a bigger club than West Ham and if they can play football the right way anyone can.
Mind you, when players like Young are plying their trade at Man Utd it just goes to show how bad English football is at the moment...
Have I read this right?
A couple had an argument about whether aliens exist.
She drove off, but then returned.
She went into the bedroom, put on lingerie and gave him a sex show with a gun.
Then threatened him with said gun?
I have been reading Mediawatch since around 2001, but I have never been so confused.
John, South Korea