With the possible exception of Blackpool, are any club's fans feeling any more depressed about the start of the season than Villa? We also have a bizarre suggestion and...
Don't peple know his PPG was THE BEST EVER FOR A SPURS MANAGER? We also have mails on Luis Suarez, the new fashion for 3-5-2 and more...
Liverpool v Arsenal
You can get 5/2 about Arsenal winning at Anfield which is a fair price. If it was 1988. I cannot quite f*cking believe the Gunners are so high here given they are top of the league and have not lost in any of their last six away games versus the Reds (three wins, three draws). Liverpool were outplayed at the Emirates earlier this season and those Wenger boys can land a monster gamble (in my house anyway) in Saturday's early kick-off.
Betting: Arsenal to win at 5/2 (Betfred)
Aston Villa v West Ham
Andy Carroll's red card last weekend was a disgrace and what about the panelists who upheld the decision? Sat eating crisps watching replay after replay of the 'incident' and still getting it wrong? Shambles. The decision will cost the Hammers no doubt but in Kevin Nolan they have a player who knows a thing or two about scoring against the Villa. He's done it five times before and I like 10/1 odds that he can do so again in this one.
Betting: Nolan to score first at 10/1 (Sky Bet)
Chelsea v Newcastle United
The Toon were turgid against the Black Cats last weekend and even the most demented, topless, Brown Ale swigging Geordie would surely think twice about backing them to beat a Chelsea team who are unbeaten in 72 home matches under Jose Mourinho? The Blues were good value for their win at Manchester City on Monday night and will approach this with a swagger. How good is Eden Hazard by the way? Poise. Guile. Balance. A trick. He really does look the pigs tits and I wouldn't put anyone off backing him to score here against a Newcastle defence that could be in for a torrid old afternoon.
Betting: Hazard to score and Chelsea to win at 13/8 (Ladbrokes)
Crystal Palace v West Brom
Tony Pulis has got Palace so well drilled and his team are scrapping for everything right now. One win in 15 away tells it's own story for the Baggies and I like the hosts here to grind out another invaluable three points in their quest for survival.
Betting: Crystal Palace to win at 8/5 (Bet Victor)
Norwich City v Manchester City
The Citizens smashed seven without reply past Norwich earlier this term and seem to be playing with an attacking mentality away from the Ethiad that was perhaps lacking earlier this season. For this reason I make them a great bet to score bash the Canaries up again in this one.
Betting: Man City to score 3+ goals at 11/10 (Coral)
Southampton v Stoke
Stoke have not won away since August. This is mostly due to the fact they are pretty sh*te. And Southampton have done pretty well against the divisions lesser lights this season. Ergo, I fancy a rather facile home win is on the cards.
Betting: Southampton - Southampton HT - FT at 11/8 (Bet Victor)
Sunderland v Hull City
The Black Cats brought home the bacon for this page in spectacular fashion last week with their derby win on Tyneside and I'm pretty shocked to see the layers daring to quote odds against that they beat Hull here. The Tigers have taken just two points of the last 27 on offer away from home (p*ss poor in anyone's language) and Sunderland are flying.
Betting: Sunderland to win at 23/20 (Bet Victor)
Swansea v Cardiff City
Huge, huge game down at the bottom and with both sets of fans having hopefully been on the lash all day it should make for some atmosphere down in South Wales. I was shocked that the Swans let Michael Laudrup go when they did and it's a big balls call so close to this potentially season-defining fixture. I reckon the stage could be set for Jonjo Shelvey to shine and da beg fella is a tasty 8/1 to score first. I impulsively bought a bald wig off eBay after Michael Van Gerwen gubbed Phil Taylor 7-0 in the darts on Thursday and so if Jonjo does the bizzo I hereby promise to walk round Tesco sporting only said wig and some underpants in tribute to these bald but beautiful mavericks one night next week.
Betting: Shelvey to score first at 8/1 (Paddy Power)
Tottenham v Everton
I like the 'overs' here between two sides who like to play football on the deck. The result will have a significant bearing on who eventually finishes in the top four and I fancy Spurs to shade a thriller. Incidentally Facebook turned 10 years old last week. Facebook - Letting you know what some c*nt you never spoke to at school is having for their tea. Since 2004.
Betting: Tottenham to win and both teams to score at 16/5 (Coral)
Manchester United v Fulham
I haven't seen much of Fulham this season so it probably wasn't my brightest idea to drop 250 sovs on them at 4/7 to beat Sheffield United in the FA Cup in the week. Wow. Are they sh*t or are they sh*t? A team clearly still reeling from the demolition of that Michael Jackson statue I can say with 100% certainty they are booked in for a mauling at Old Trafford.
Betting: Manchester United (-2) at 6/4 (Paddy Power)