You can dislike the punditry, but Merse is an impossible man to loath. 'It'd be like hating a shaggy dog that runs up to you and wants you to throw it a stick,' say the boys...
It's a decent afternoon Mailbox, with thoughts on Paulinho, Nani, the future of women's football and yet more of your annoyances. These will be the last of them...
* Despite being 12 points better off, Arsenal have scored fewer goals (52) than the same stage last season (53).
* Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain was the only Arsenal player to create two goalscoring chances v Stoke; he only played the final 16 minutes.
* Olivier Giroud lost the ball with a poor touch seven times v Stoke; only five players (Peter Crouch, Jay Rodriguez, Luis Suarez, Christian Benteke and Adam Lallana) have a higher average turnover-per-game rate than Giroud in the PL.
* Villa play more long balls per game (71) than any PL side this season. Leandro Bacuna found a teammate with just three of his 12 long balls v Norwich.
* Villa have picked up 13 points from a losing position this season. Only Chelsea have claimed more (14).
* Andreas Weimann has had 53 shots this season to Christian Benteke's 54; Weimann has scored three PL goals to Benteke's nine.
* Cardiff have not scored in their last 400 minutes of PL football.
* Striker Fraizer Campbell had no shots, created no chances and completed just ten passes in 90 minutes v Tottenham on Sunday.
* Declan John played as a left wing-back but did not attempt a single cross v Tottenham; his average position was inside his own half.
* Andre Schürrle has scored six goals from just 35 PL shots this season; Fernando Torres has scored three goals fromk 37 shots.
* Eden Hazard has scored or assisted 19 PL goals this season. Only Luis Suarez (34), Daniel Sturridge (23) and Sergio Aguero (20) have contributed more.
* Oscar has not contributed a PL goal or assist since January 1 v Southampton.
* Glenn Murray completed just four of his 11 attempted passes in his 45 minutes on the pitch v Swansea.
* No Palace player has contributed more than one PL assist this season.
* Palace have not scored an away goal in open play in 2014.
* Everton are six points better off than the same stage last season under David Moyes but are in the same position (6th).
* Everton have actually conceded fewer goals at home (10) than second-placed Liverpool (12).
* Leighton Baines finally got a PL assist this season with his 32nd key pass v West Ham.
* Fulham had a pass completion rate of just 66% v Chelsea; their average for the season is 79.4%.
* Ashkan Dejagah found a teammate with just one of his 11 crosses v Chelsea.
* Clint Dempsey completed only eight passes in 90 minutes v Chelsea on Saturday.
* Hull strikers Nikica Jelavic and Shane Long had a total of six shots v Newcastle but none were on target.
* Tom Huddlestone has played 47 key passes this season but has claimed only two assists - the latest came v Newcastle on Saturday.
* Hull have taken just one point from their last four games at the KC Stadium.
* Philippe Coutinho is dribbled past more times per game (2) than any other PL player.
* Luis Suarez has contributed an assist in five of his last six PL games.
* Jordan Henderson made more tackles (7) than any other player on the pitch v Southampton on Saturday.
* Luuk de Jong won 12 aerial duels and made three key passes v Hull but had only one of Newcastle's 17 shots.
* Loic Remy has scored 35% of Newcastle's goals this season - the highest proportion in the PL.
* Vurnon Anita became the first non native French speaker to score for Newcastle since Paul Dummett v Liverpool in October when he netted v Hull on Saturday.
* Norwich have not scored more than one goal in any of their last 13 PL games.
* Norwich strikers account for only six of their 21 PL goals this season.
* Robert Snodgrass is dispossessed more times per game (2.8) than any other PL player.
* Southampton made a massive 33 tackles v Liverpool on Saturday; Rickie Lambert was the only outfield starter not to contribute.
* England trio Luke Shaw, Adam Lallana and Lambert made 11 of Southampton's 13 chances v Liverpool.
* Southampton have won only one of their last eight PL games at St Mary's.
* Jonathan Walters has now scored the most PL goals for Stoke with a pretty paltry 24 in four seasons.
* Stoke record the average number of fouls per game (13.3) in the Premier League.
* Stoke's home record of 24 points from 14 games is better than every PL side barring the top four and Everton.
* Swansea played a massive 91 long balls v Palace on Sunday - more than any other side this weekend.
* Ben Davies has created more chances than any other PL player (27) this season without getting an assist.
* Leroy Lita featured in the PL for Swansea v Palace for the first time since April 2012.
* Andros Townsend averages more shots per game (3) than any other Tottenham player; he had four v Cardiff on Sunday.
* Only 17% of Tottenham's attacks came down the middle v Cardiff. Central midfield pair Mousa Dembélé and Paulinho made only one key pass in total.
* Tottenham are one point and 12 goals worse off than the same stage last season.
* West Ham average four shots on target per game at home but just 2.5 away. They managed just one at Everton on Saturday.
* James Collins and James Tomkins are both in the top six for PL clearances per game this season.
* ...but Tomkins completed just one pass (of eight attempted) v Everton.