Saido Berahino did some serious numbers with his hissy tweet (and that's the real quiz), but how great would it be if he went through with it. We all love a grown-up tantrum...
That's one Mailboxer's view. Also: Liverpool have a better squad than Man United for the first time since 1990, we get more 'Over The Hill XIs', and someone reveals a secret footballing love...
Emre Can (Liverpool)
Completed alongside the £25m capture of Adam Lallana from Southampton, Emre Can's arrival at Liverpool was perhaps a little overshadowed. At just 20, the versatile German youth international should get his fair share of the limelight next season and prove to be an invaluable asset given the Reds' lacking of players in his position(s).
Can made 12 of his 29 starts in the league and Champions League for Bayer Leverkusen last season at left-back, which has been a problem position at Anfield for some time now, but his strongest position is arguably in the middle of the park.
A highly capable defensive midfielder, the former Bayern graduate should take his place above Lucas and Joe Allen in the pecking order in that position, and his energy levels could be key alongside ageing captain Steven Gerrard.
Can averaged 2.6 tackles in the Bundesliga last season but also carries the ball from deep very well (2.5 successful dribbles per game). He'll need to improve his passing figures to adjust to Brendan Rodgers' system but this youngster is more than capable of cementing a starting berth.
Dusan Tadic (Southampton)
Though it looks as though Southampton will continue to be stripped of its best parts, new man at the helm Ronald Koeman has moved fast to secure the men tasked with filling the shoes of Liverpool-bound Lallana and Lambert.
Dusan Tadic and Graziano Pelle have both made the move from Eredivisie having garnered the top two ratings in the Dutch top-flight from WhoScored.com last season. Although the Italian front man just edged it (7.96 to 7.80), it's Tadic from whom the magic is expected.
The Serbian playmaker can play across a number of attacking positions, much like the man he is tasked with replacing, and has all of the tools to impress in the Premier League.
The 25-year old created 46 more chances than any other player in the Eredivisie last season (133), as well as completing the most accurate through balls (16) and crosses (64) in the league to help Twente to a third-placed finish.
Siem de Jong (Newcastle)
In a move that caught many off guard, Ajax captain Siem de Jong completed a switch to Newcastle after an injury-ravaged campaign with the Eredivisie champions.
Fit again and already firing having scored in each of the Magpies' first friendly fixtures thus far - including a stunning strike against Oldham - the Toon Army will hope for more from the 25-year-old than his younger brother Luuk was able to offer on loan last season. Capable in both a centre-forward and midfield role, De Jong's involvement with Ajax was limited to just 16 league starts last season, though he did manage to net seven times.
The Dutch international should add firepower to a side in desperate need of it following the loss of top scorer Loic Remy.
Mame Biram Diouf (Stoke)
Though his name may not spark great excitement following a disappointing spell in the Premier League with Manchester United and later on loan at Blackburn, it's worth noting that Mame Biram Diouf is still only 26.
A productive stint in the Bundesliga has left the striker confident that he is better equipped to take on English football this time around and having signed on a free transfer, his arrival at Stoke represents impressive business on Mark Hughes' part.
Diouf is a good athlete and offers the physicality that the Potters demand from a lone front man having won 5.1 aerial duels per game with Hannover last season.
In his time with the German outfit the Senagalese international netted 26 league goals and registered a further 13 assists over 67 appearances, with his rating from WhoScored.com climbing with each season (7.05 - 2011/12, 7.11 - 2012/13, 7.33 - 2013/14).
Bafetimbi Gomis (Swansea)
It looks as though it could be a busy summer for Swansea, who have allowed Michu to leave the club on loan to Napoli - somewhat bafflingly - and could yet lose the likes of Bony, Hernandez, Davies and Vorm.
Garry Monk has managed to pull off an impressive signing in the form of French international forward Bafetimbi Gomis, though, made all the more so by the fact that the 28-year-old has joined on a free. Though he is no longer in the reckoning for les Bleus, here is a man that has registered double figures in the league in each of his five seasons at Lyon, including 14 in the previous campaign.
Like Diouf, Gomis is a real threat in the air and has garnered strengths of finishing and headed attempts from WhoScored.com and, given that no player has scored more goals over the past five Ligue 1 seasons (64), Swansea have done well to secure his signature.
Diego Poyet (West Ham)
It's hardly the most eye-catching signing of the summer so far but West Ham may have stolen a march on a number of top clubs in convincing former Charlton youngster Diego Poyet - son of Gus - that Upton Park is the right place for his development.
Among his supposed suitors before a move across the capital were the likes of Chelsea, Manchester City and even Barcelona, and the midfielder was awarded the Addicks' player of the year award despite not breaking into the first team until February. He was a mainstay in the side from there on in, securing the best rating for the South Londoners from WhoScored.com (7.16) courtesy of some impressive statistics.
An 83.2% pass accuracy is no mean feat in the Championship, particularly for a 19-year-old, while no player in the entire division averaged more tackles per game (4.3) and no team-mate averaged more interceptions (2.5).
Given that West Ham had to look to the ageing Matty Taylor to partner Mark Noble towards the tail end of last season, the teenager could get more game time than some may expect.
Martin Laurence - Follow him on Twitter.