Cheeky Backs Chelsea, RVP And Villa Relegation...

And that little lot comes in at 68/1 so if he's right, he wants a picture of your tattoo with his name on your arse. He's not touching Man United at 5s that's for sure...

Last Updated: 12/08/14 at 11:52 Post Comment

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Saddam Hussain once had it all yet was forced to watch his empire crumble around him as his stock dwindled and his once-iron grip on power loosened. Little by little once-impregnable defences were breached and trusted allies jumped ship as it became clear the wheels were coming off.

Sorry did I say Saddam Hussain? I meant of course Manchester United. The Red Devils are 5/1 third favourites to win the Premier League this season and that's all down to the Louis van Gaal factor. The Dutch maverick, fresh from leading Holland to a respectable third-place finish at the 2014 World Cup, has been recruited to arrest the slide at Old Trafford after the club enjoyed a ridiculously ordinary season last term under ginger dodge-pot David Moyes.

As far as pre-season goes it's been so far so good and his favoured 3-4-3 formation seems to be bedding in nicely but my big concern for ManYoo is at the back, having lost Nemanja Vidic, Rio Ferdinand and Patrice Evra over the summer. At the time of writing, none of the aforementioned, the cornerstone of United's back line during the past several years, have adequately been replaced so while the Red Devils will be worth watching, I would rather chop my own c*ck off than back them at 5s.

That said, I do feel Robin van Persie will thrive under LVG. Van Persie is the real deal and simply didn't play enough games last term (though his goals-per-game ratio was still none too shabby). Van Gaal will know how to get the best of him and that could spell disaster for top-flight defences. Expect the Old Trafford outfit to really start to go at sides again under this new regime and Van Persie will be the man to benefit. The Dutchman loves two things - gelling his hair and scoring goals - and so I'm all over him at 5/1 to finish Premier League top scorer.

Another bet I like is the 3/1 currently on offer about Aston Villa being relegated. It's been a summer of big spending in the top flight, except at Villa Park. Paul Lambert was apparently handed a £10million war chest this summer which, in the current climate, will probably buy you the the right leg and ball sack of a forward from the Belgian Jupiler League. Joe Cole, Phillipe Senderos and Kieran Richardson have been brought in, but with Ron Vlaar linked with a move away it looks like being a winter of discontent for Villa and 3s about them eating a Championship sh*t sandwich next season make plenty of appeal.

So who's gonna win the f*cker then Bilton, I hear you ask? Well it's Chelsea for me provided they can keep John Terry and Diego Costa fit. Terry was a colossus for the Blues last term and they look rock solid at the back with him and Gary Cahill pulling the strings. Cesc Fabregas is a top buy too but in Diego Costa they have an Iberian jewel who will get them 20+ goals no danger.

Manchester City have also strengthened and they will be there or thereabouts but City seem overly reliant on the majestic Yaya Toure to me and they'll face a different animal in Chelsea this year. You can forget about Liverpool as they have sold Luis Suarez and spunked a fair chunk of the funds on bang average players. Another Champions League place is the best they can possibly hope for.

Arsenal look to have spent wisely and they would be my dark horses if Arsene Wenger can keep his top players fit but blue is the colour this year and I expect Chelsea to win it with a bit to spare. Jose Mourinho was allowed to spout his pony about 'little horses' last year but the title push was always geared to the 2014/15 season and I see the 15/8 pokes justifying favouritism in what should be a season to remember. The Chelsea, Villa and Van Persie treble is paying 68/1 currently and I'm happy for followers to back it on the understanding that if it comes in. you all get my name tattooed on your left arse cheek?

Betting: Chelsea to win the Premier League at 15/8 (Sky Bet)

Betting: Robin Van Persie to be top Premier League scorer at 5/1 (Ladbrokes)

Betting: Aston Villa to be relegated at 3/1 (Hills/Ladbrokes)

Degsy Bilton

Same bet but with Rooney/Costa as top scorer.
- colinhunt

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put Ince in my fantasy football team, so it's no surprise at all really. I do that to players. Also responsible for De Jong and Upson being injured. Think I'll transfer in Di Maria just to ruin United....

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