This week Johnny goes dahn sarf to the Romford manah, my son. It’s only that fackin’ Ray Parlour, geezer.
Johnny goes back to his favourite medium and listens to the inimitable Caroline Barker on the radio.
Once a part of English football's finest ever club side, Ray Houghton is now a part of the punditry furniture.
Hear that? That’s the Fashionista klaxon being activated. Remember anything he says, though?
Johnny arrives at the moccasined feet of that nice Graeme Le Saux, a miniature Arnie it seems...
Yes, Johnny has gone meta. And frankly we can't work out whether it's awful or wonderful...
It's another one of Sky’s "oh...is that what he’s called" presenters that we all know, but we don't know we know.
He is anonymous to many, but a voice we all know. Johnny profiles BT Sport's Ian Darke.
This week Johnny enjoys having Coisty caressing his ears. Never mind PFM, is he the ultimate RFM?
Under-appreciated, but still certainly noticeable. Pearce is no-nonsense, but in a friendly and welcoming way
Is telling Sir Alex Ferguson off for saying "b*llocks" on live TV enough for PFM membership?
There's some proper Teesside love here between Johnny and Kam. But who doesn't love him?
And no, Match of the Day doesn't figure. You're all too hipster for that. It's all James Richardson and cleverness.
Being a commentator is the hardest job in football media by some distance. Who is the cream of the crop?
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