Those of you searching for Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool players should probably look elsewhere.
You might notice that Arsenal and Liverpool do not feature. Things have gone precisely as expected for them...
Why did Everton sack Koeman? The tactics, the 'arrogance', the red Christmas tree, his licence plate...
Most players can now engineer a move, and most teams can move a player on. So why didn't they?
If I could turn back time, if I could find a way. Which summer exits look like mistakes?
We're excited about the return of the Premier League. Will this little lot get even better?
In light of Joselu's, er, strike, against Liverpool, this needed an update. It features the worst ever solo goal...
What happened to the Alli who was better than Pogba? He is here, as are Everton, Jurgen and Mesut...
Do they both make the top ten? Does only one of them? Maybe neither do. Oh, the drama and intrigue.
This list includes a player signed this summer who wasn't named in his club's 25-man squad. Weird.
'A bit of a weirdo', apparently. But Frank de Boer can still play - which is said to have offended Palace 'stars'
Roberto Di Matteo tops the list but who else was parachuted in to achieve great things?
The season might be three weeks old, but there are new signings we've still hardly seen. Bring them on.
This is going to be a ridiculous last three days of the window. Will these ten happen? Fingers are crossed.
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