Wilshere: Is He Smoking Enough?

That might be the real problem here. There certainly isn't much to worry about when a 22-year-old has a wee puff of a cigarette on his jollies, so why the consternation?

Last Updated: 28/07/14 at 10:27 Post Comment

Latest Articles

Stop Striving For Unattainable Consistency

8 comments

That's John Nicholson's message to football fans following Cesc Fabregas' booking for diving on Sunday. Referees are human, they simply aren't going to get everything right...

Johnny's Very Favourite Things Of 2014...

22 comments

Cristiano Ronaldo, Carlo Ancelotti's left eyebrow, a higher standard of punditry, the rise of Charlie Austin...it's been a year to be celebrated in proper fashion...

All Articles

Of all the things Jack Wilshire could have been photographed doing in Las Vegas, having a smoke was probably the least of the sins he could have committed.

The subsequent statement of apology and regret from the tattooed Arsenal faller-over made it sound as though he'd been caught injecting a cocktail of LSD, tequila and nail polish into his eyes whilst being fellated by a small pony dressed as Cher.

"I regret it. I've been seen before doing it. I said then I made a mistake and I made a mistake again. It's unacceptable and I will accept the consequences and move on" he said, before pulling on a roll-up, squinting through narrowed eyes and adding: "But it doesn't matter, because...it's just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort. No worry. No job. No savings and money. Just a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy bigger guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one."

Except he didn't. Sadly. Now that'd have been something. That'd be something to really 'learn' from.

Obviously, none of us give a damn about Wilshere smoking and only a country with a media dedicated to manufacturing hysterical outrage where none exists could dress it up as anything worth anyone's consideration. It is on such occasions where the 'he's a role-model' argument is, with groaning inevitability, deployed, despite it being obviously untrue. I doubt there has been a surge in 22-year-olds deciding to smoke on the basis of pictures of Jack having a tab. Though if they did, maybe it'd be a good idea not to print such photos, huh?

The cringing apologies just seem so pathetic, as though have a smoke is something that could happen almost accidentally and you could do it without realising you're doing it. Like being found by your wife with your gentleman's bits in a lady's mouth and saying, "Oh, I don't know how that happened. I wasn't really paying attention and it just flopped in there."

Clearly, Wilshere knows that he shouldn't be smoking, partly due to the health and fitness implications, but mostly because he should be well aware by now that he'll be photographed and will then have to come out with some pathetic, whiney, mea culpa about being 'young'. For a start, it's a very knowing thing to excuse your actions on being young. Oh I'm young, I don't know what I'm doing, is a bizarre defence. If you're old enough to know you're young, you're old enough to know what you're doing.

When he says he'll 'learn from it' as though he's a 12-year-old boy whose been caught behind the bike sheds, I wonder what he will learn? Don't smoke or don't get caught smoking? The latter is the bigger lesson to learn. By far the worse thing about a footballer smoking is the post-fag apocalypse apology.

Maybe one of the reasons he thought he'd get away with it is because he seems increasingly marginalized and simply thought everyone had stopped taking any notice of him. The stress of being pushed as The Next Big Thing and then not being, needs dealing with somehow. Why not with a cool, smooth smoke? Anything that slows the game down and forces a player to put his foot on the ball should be embraced.

"It does motivate me to try harder in training and not just in training," he went on to say, whilst getting his brain tattooed. There you have it y'see - smoking motivates a footballer to try harder. So if he has another poor season, it won't be because he's been smoking, it'll be because he's not been smoking enough.

Watch Johnny's promo video for his new rock 'n' roll thriller, 'The Girl Can't Help It'.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

W

e have the personnel. The trick is keeping them fit. Carrick and Blind have missed large chunks of the season, while the defence has been one muddled mess of intermittent stooges, all coming and going at various intervals thus far. We may be just short of title winning quality, but we're half way through. An injury crisis to either of the top two could change things. Optimistic, yes, but not unrealistic.

HarryBoulton
One Point And One Conclusion For United

P

arish is the man to blame for this shambles. Pulis must be chuckling into his left over turkey sandwich. I pray this doesn't mean the Neil Warnock media machine will kick in now and he'll be back on the telly box.

magicfuller
Warnock sacked by Palace

W

e almost found a new way to lose, just when I thought it was getting boring Giroud does that. Although Arsenal are deservedly called 'soft' the entire midfield is out injured. Still must admit MU are managing to win despite a similar raft of absentees. Think the Gunners have good players but poorly coached.

gettalong
Wenger: Giroud deserved red

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Premier League: Tony Popovic would be free to leave current club for Crystal Palace job

Western Sydney Wanderers chairman Paul Lederer will not stand in Tony Popovic's way if Crystal Palace approach him.

Sky sources: Alan Irvine will be in charge for West Brom's trip to West Ham on New Year's Day

A senior West Brom source has told Sky Sports News HQ that Alan Irvine will be in charge for the game against West Ham.

Transfer news: Fernando Torres heads back to Atletico Madrid on loan until end of next season

Fernando Torres is returning to Atletico Madrid on loan until the end of the 2015-16 season.

Mail Box

What's Happened To Everton And Martinez?

There aren't many people still talking about how the Spaniard is better than David Moyes. Plus, thoughts on Jose Mourinho's moaning and Spurs at least being very fit...

Van Gaal's Half-Term Report Card...

One Man United fan isn't happy with the rate the team is progressing under Louis van Gaal, while the mailbox also wishes Liverpool fans a Merry Mid-Table Christmas...

© 2014 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media property