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Does SOS Stand For 'Shame Of Shankly'?
There's embarrassment from Liverpool fans after Spirit Of Shankly's talk of 'chaos' at Anfield. Plus; big-ups for Roberto Martinez, perfect penalties and lots more...
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FSG seem to have adopted a scattergun approach to appointing a new manager, but one chap says it's time to trust them. Plus, Spurs fans looking up and saving money...
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A Great Big Mailbox Love In!
Seeing as it's the day it is and lots of us seem to be stuck in this mire of anger, sadness and general negativity, I'm going to bare all, stand atop the highest peak and declare to you my boundless, unconditional love for football.
Yes, there's a lot of extra shit going on, folk refusing a hand rub, teams getting a financial spanking, managers being dumped and so on. And yes, these all prompt discussion, be it sound, biased, or just plain silly. However, at the end of this fine day, we're all going to get our noses wet with happiness and joy because there's Champions League football on the telly. We're going to sit down, relaxed and uninterrupted, and enjoy very good footballers playing very good football. We're going to enjoy that strange feeling of calm entitlement as we spend an hour and forty five in the good company of the beautiful game.
Now, some of you might be cursing the football clashing with this day of honey and affection but if you are then I ask you to shut up. If you are so lucky to be with a better half this evening then hey! even better. Spend it with her or him, soak it up, tell them you love them, and really mean it. Just know that sometime, somewhere you can sit down, relaxed and uninterrupted, and enjoy your first love. Your true love. Your enduring love. On Sky Plus.
Doug (Happly Valentine's F365) KFC, Scotland
Play The Kids In The Europa
Now that United are going to be playing in the Europe League, is it too much to hope that SAF breeds the next generation in terms of youth in this competition? Considering that we are out of both the domestic cups and the priority is going to be spoiling the noisy neighbours' party - I'd love to see the likes of Pogba starting against Ajax. SAF probably does not play him in the PL games given the unpredictable form and mental frailty his team has displayed but this would be the perfect opportunity to 'blood' the youngsters. It is less physical than facing the likes of Stoke and let's face it - it's not the top of his list in terms of trophies for this season. Pogba has been on the bench for quite a while now. Why not start him against a good European opponent and let him find his feet. He does seem talented and a decent spell of games might even secure him a place in the starting XI for the league.
This would ensure that we don't see Scholes and Carrick having to play midweek and hence keep them fit for the weekend games. Also, players like Berba would get some good game time against tough opposition and might even play a part in the closing stages of the league.
More importantly this might ensure we don't ever see the midfield pairing of Rafael and Park again.
Budhaditya (still makes me puke)
All Is Not Lost For Scotchland
I thought I'd chime in on this whole "end of Scottish football" scenario before mass hysteria sets in.
Mass hysteria might be a touch too far, especially as the Scottish league is nothing anyway compared to the Premier League, you would be led to believe.
However, there are major doubts over the future of Rangers football club, as they have now gone into administration. If rumour is to be believed, they will be hit with a 10 pt penalty, which bar any miracles will already confirm Celtic as champions come the end of the season. Regardless however this season ends up, it is quite likely there will only be 1 big team in Scotland, and thankfully for my blood line this means Celtic will be heads and shoulders above the rest.
Peter Lawwell had some interesting things to say in the wake of the news surrounding Rangers, a mix of gloating and !bigging up" his own club. He has said for the last five years Celtic have been thinking for the future pretty much. Every club has said this to death but he goes in depth about their scouting policy (spotting diamonds in the rough), and their long term vision regarding Celtic as a European commodity.
Unlike Blackburn Rovers insane statements on Champions League qualification, Celtic have a "brand" image, which in today's football means so much to big teams. Rangers have this brand image as well, but Celtic have been run significantly better to make use of this than Rangers would seem to. In a couple of years who knows what will happen.
Really what I'm trying to get at though is that this is just another part of evolution in football as we know it. Say in a few months Rangers ceased to exist as a football club, this would leave Celtic as the Bayern Munich of their league. Mr Lawwell's statement goes on about building for the future and a hint that he would like to see other club's go their way. It will take a while, but Rangers going out of business could be the best thing to happen for the Scottish league in general. The likes of Motherwell, Aberdeen and Dundee Utd, all with their own history, may not be so daunted with lack of ambition when future seasons kick off.
Basically, not all is lost, Scottish football may be stuck in the trenches for the next 20, 30, 40 years, but life goes on and hopefully so does the football. 100 years ago, Sunderland were champs of England. Time has evolved and Utd are sitting on the top of the football tree. In 100 years from now, Burton Albion may very well be the most successful team on the planet, and Utd may be completely forgotten.
David S (Just wanted to get my two cents in), Ireland
A Bone To Pick With Miller
Nice article over all, Mr Miller, but of course I have a bone to pick! Lindegaard is nowhere near the shot-stopper that De Gea is, his distribution isn't as good either, AND he's also just as inconsistent at claiming crosses. Do you not recall the last 5 mins against City when he was flapping everywhere? These things go unnoticed seemingly because Lindegaard has the reputation (somehow) as being "ice cool" - but in reality he is just as dodgy as De Gea with high balls. Also, to my recollecting, he's only made one save, that being an excellent one early on against City. He's really not done a lot but flap, concede goals that De Gea would probably have saved, and made one admittedly excellent save. You'd have been better off putting Paul Scholes on your list for coming out of retirement and running the show in every game he has played, whilst also getting forward at times like he is 27 not 37.
Silvio (Thankyou for posting that Big Mick link hahaha) Dante
Downing: The Truth
I'm sorry to tell Liverpool fans saying stick with Downing that he'll only ever be a good top 6 or 7 prem side player. Me and every other Villa fan I know was happy as Larry himself when Kenny offered us £20million (I still shake my head when I see his name and that number together) for him.
He was rubbish in his first season and looked like the player the Reds have at the moment, then he was our player of the year and was brilliant for us the following season. So you might think I should then go on to say stick with him and when he gets used to his surroundings he'll be awesome. I'm sorry to say he I don't think he will be. He's a £12million player that is good for the bench at a top team and the first name on the team sheet at somewhere like the Villa, Everton and Newcatle - good teams but not the best. A £20million winger who's scared to take on his man if that man plays for a top or even half decent team? Someone who only passes backwards or sideways and forces Enrique to do all the attacking? It's not called a lack of confidence. It's called biting off more than you can chew. Forget Carroll, Downing was the worst bit of business Kenny's done so far. And thanks for that £20m by the way - should help us when Eck gets us relegated.
The Duck
Creative
Carlos Tevez: "Roberto Mancini treated me like a dog."
This suggests that Carlos Tevez equates being treated like a dog to being treated horribly. Which in turn suggests Carlos Tevez is mean to dogs.
CARLOS TEVEZ TORTURES PUPPIES!
Like he wasn't enough of a twunt already.
Do you think I could get a job at The Sun or The Daily Mail?
Harsha. Arsenal fan in New Delhi.
Overreacting?
Tracie Armendariz
You do realise that supporting a club, buying their merchandise etc who have had a player charged by the fa for using racist language, doesn't actually make you racist? I know, its shocking.
Marlon King (google him) signed for my hometown club upon release from prison. I cheered his goals, applauded his performance and as yet, I have not beaten a woman up in a nightclub. Probably wont either. I also don't condone violence against women.
Nothing like overreacting
Alec, 29, Coventry
The Excitement Years
Andrew C (Singaporean United fan banished to Edinburgh) puts a great argument forward that this season must be the most dramatic season ever in EPL and English football history.
I would have had to agree with Andrew if it wasn't for one split second incident on January (I think) 1995.
Ladies and gentlemen I remind you of...the Cantona kung fu kick. Most controversial/shocking/dramatic/craziest football moment ever. One moment that still tops the combined drama's of this season.
Eric I salute you. The geniuses have always brought controversy to the game. Cantona, Zidane, Maradona and Best being good examples.
Dave, (keeping a close eye on Messi) Dublin. LFC.
...Good e mail from Andy in Singapore regarding exciting seasons. I think I may have a more bat sh*t mental one.
1994/1995
It began with the news that Jurgen Klinnsmann was joining Spurs. This was back in the day when Premier League foreign superstars were scarcer than Warnock's humility. Around October we had the first sacking when Ossie Ardiles paid the price for attempting to play with 9 strikers whilst pushing through a government law that stated all defenders should be incarcerated and was therefore called into Alan Sugars boardroom to be told " Oi you! Get the hell outta my club! " . This set in motion a spate of shake ups that became known as the managerial merry go round. Ron Atkinson was shown the door at Aston Villa for wearing too much jewellery, Mike Walker left Everton as they disagreed with his 2 point plan which consisted of 1. Avoid scoring goals 2. Lose games. And before the season was out only 7 clubs ended the season with the man in charge at the start of the campaign. The biggest surprise of all was the sacking of George Graham by Arsenal for the very serious crime of paying £2 million for Glenn Helder.
As the title race headed into the new year it was a 2 horse race between King Kenny's Blackburn and Sir Alex's Man United. Or as they were known back then, Kenny and Alex. United looked to have gained the upper hand after Eric Cantona scored a late winner as United beat Blackburn 1-0 in a game which marked the debut of Andy Cole who had just transferred from rivals Newcastle for a British record £7 million ( or Andy Carrolls ponytail ). But alas 3 days later King Eric had a misunderstanding with a delightful young man from Croydon named Matthew Simmons which resulted in words and kung fu lessons being doled out.
Cantona was banned for the rest of the season an event which overshadowed the revelation that Paul Merson was a drug addict and had been appearing for The Gooners whilst coked off his tits. Although be fair being asked to play with Glenn Helder would drive anyone to reach for the nearest £20 note.
February brought even more scandal when during an international friendly in Dublin between long term lovers Ireland and England the away fans lost their minds due to the strength of the local Guinness and instead of sitting on the seats provided started ripping them off their bolts and throwing them at their confused cousins. On the same night Vinny Jones bit a taxi driver on the nose in what may or may not have been an argument about cheese.
Things began to quieten down a bit then until Roy Keane was sent off in an FA Cup Semi Final replay against Crystal Palace after confusing Gareth Southgate with Matthew Simmons. They now work happily together on ITV. Roy and Gareth that is. Not Roy and Matthew. That would be truly awful. Although to be fair to Matthew he couldn't be any worse than Adrian Chiles.
The season concluded on Super Sunday as the title went right down to the wire with Blackburn just needing a win at Anfield to confirm themselves as champions. Unfortunately they lost to a last minute Liverpool winner but luckily for them Man United failed to beat West Ham at Upton Park with Andy Cole the main culprit after forgetting the rules of the game and spending the afternoon thumping the ball at the West Ham keepers body.
All in all a quite eventful season I'll think you'll agree if a tad on the serious side.
Epilogue
- Alan Sugar hired firing professionals to help him in the firing people process. They were so good he fired them.
- Ron Atkinson managed to get a new job after leaving Villa but unfortunately lost that one too for reasons that currently escape me.
- Glenn Helder is currently touring Holland in a 2 Unlimited tribute band.
- Andy Cole learned the rules of the game and became a legendary striker.
- Vinny Jones likes cheese.
- Kenny and Alex still don't like each other.
Rob Melia
...I'll tell you a season which has been as dramatic as this one: every other. Face it, every season has it's talking points, it's plucky underdogs, it's upset results, it's colorful characters and it's controversial issues. For every Swansea and Norwich this season, you had a Stoke, a Hull, or a Manchester City in the seasons past. For every Newcastle this season, you had an Everton or an Aston Villa in the seasons past. Most of the super-duper matches mentioned have been lopsided arse-wallopings, utterly devoid of quality from one or both teams involved. The racism row is shameful and shambolic, and I would rather prefer beachball-gate to it. United are being depressingly efficient and yet still manage to mix it up at the very top only because of the bloody-minded manager we have. Wigan are still being utterly pants. Neil Warnock is being a git and staying unsuccessful, Harry Redknapp is being successful despite being one too. Another Chelsea manager is losing the plot, although this one is doing it a lot faster than his predecessors. John Terry is still the anti-Christ, Van Persie still looks like a supermodel, Moyes still scares the bejeezus out of me and Antonio Valencia still refuses to smile.
So tell me, what exactly is so different about this season? It is dramatic, but so is every other season. Even the one where Chelsea ran away with the title by boring teams into submission. We love the game because it keeps providing us with moments of drama and pure joy, every season, since time immemorial.
AB (An American mom actually owns LFC merchandise? Victory for the PL PR team!) MUFC, Atlanta, Stateside
...Andrew C raises an interesting point in this morning's mailbox, and I would have to agree, this has certainly been the most dramatic season I can remember. This ties in with a conversation I was having at the weekend (Hi Leon) where we were wondering if all the drama and excitement is caused by a relative lack of quality in the top sides. Man United and Chelsea are nowhere near their teams of even a couple of years ago, Arsenal are an absolute shambles compared with the Invincibles, and Liverpool won't be reaching any Champion's League finals anytime soon. Spurs have their best side in my lifetime, and are great to watch, but overall I would argue they aren't even close to early / mid decade United, Chelsea and Arsenal sides.
City are obviously a different matter, and I think they will hold on to win the league, but as their poor Champions League showing demonstrated there is much for them still to prove. So, the question is, do I enjoy more the drama and the unpredictability of this season, or the pleasure of watching truly great sides dominate? I think I'm wavering towards to the drama...
Richard Strzelecki
...Andrew C (Singaporean United fan banished to Edinburgh), I think the standard of football this season has been poor and the off-field circus has been risibly nauseating. All in all it's put me right off the sport I used to love.
I cannot wait for the F1 season to start!
James, London
A Heart-Warming Tale
Alec Butcher touched on the possibility of Grant Holt playing for England.
I for one would welcome this, as it could potentially open the door for a Mike-Bassett-meets-GOAL!-esque movie. Instead of Florentino Perez, Zinadine Zidane and David Beckham there's Deliah Smith, Anthony Pilkington and Paul Lambert. Instead of the bright lights and sarongs of Madrid there's the grey lined backdrops and flat caps of Carlisle, Halifax, Workington and Barrow (wey!). He makes that big move out to erm... Singapore... where poor Grant sits alone in his hotel room (reminiscent of Bill Murray in Lost in Translation) after banging in goals against defenders half his height, Grant struggles to come to terms with a country without pies.
The lure of England (and it's baked goods) was to strong and once again Grant is thrust back into the queue at Green's pie shop in Barrow. Eventually scaling the leagues before finally finding his home in East Anglia. After winning his first cap from newly appointed manager Rosie Redknapp at Euro 2012, culminating in Grant scoring the decisive England goal in the disappointing 5-1 defeat to the Ukraine. Grant becomes an international sensation and after a Twitter spat between Stephen Fry and Sandro Rosell over a tapping up scandal, he turns down the chance to join the ranks at Camp Nou. Grant goes on lead Norwich to an undefeated Premier League campaign and Champions League glory in the following season, beating - you guessed it - Barca.
I would simply call it Holt (Not that one): A Football Story.
In all seriousness, why not? Holt has been fantastic this season and I think it would be only fair to the man after an impressive season to get capped in the very least, as far as battering rams go he's been excellent in a team who were predicted to be d*cked week in week out. Not suggesting this is entirely down to Holt, but he's certainly been a contributing factor to their success.
As the chant goes and I'm sure it's one that Grant hums it to himself - "If Andy Carroll can play for England, so can I"
Wooders - Barrow AFC
We Think Lots Of People Do This
I'm an intern at a company I obviously won't name. It's boring and I don't really do much but it's decent for my CV.
As I hastily eat my breakfast in the morning, I load up F365 and copy and paste as many articles as I can into a word document. I then e-mail this document to myself at work. I open it up and when I'm bored I can read the mailbox, F365 says, the Spanish Thing etc at my pleasure. What's best, I can hide the fact I'm reading F365 in plain sight as to anybody else, it just looks like I'm reading whatever corporate boredom I'm probably supposed to reading.
I think this might tbe the saddest and most paranoid act of dossing about ever but I wanted to show my dedication.
John Doe (can't give real name, employers are monitoring all modes of communication) X
