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James Collins Is Only 29. Tough Paper Round
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Football Needs Cheating & Injustice
Football needs cheating, it needs inconsistent decisions and it needs villains. The unpredictability that comes with having a perfectly fallible human being officiating is what makes football great and both enrages and inspires in equal measure. How many times have a set of fans celebrated an undeserved victory thanks to a dodgy penalty decision or neutrals p*ssed themselves laughing at an anomalous event (think bobbles on the pitch, balloons redirecting shots) that never would have happened if football pitches became sterile, uniform arenas where nothing unexpected or controversial ever happens.
Most of us watch football for one of two reasons: allegiance or enjoyment. Cheating and poor refereeing smart when our club is the injured party, hurting us because of our allegiance but we have to see the bigger picture. In terms of 'enjoyment' if watching two neutral teams duke it out would we rather see a utilitarian nil nil complete with the perfect refereeing performance or rather see a disallowed screamer with a handball in the build up, equalised by a blatant dive earning a penalty in the last minute of the game before a fight breaks out over the injustice of it all, followed by a series of rash tackles in extra time resulting in a token red card as the ref desperately tries to exert some control? I'd take the odd 2-3 unjust results a season for my team if it meant I got to enjoy incidents in every other match I watch. Just think - what is the first thing the interviewers want to speak to the players and managers about after games - moments of controversy - and we are no different.
In the same way that it is the villains in movies that are usually the more memorable and interesting - The Joker - Keyser Soze - Dan Logan - Begbie - Hannibal Lecter - the scumbags, and even part time perpetrators of odiousness, of football keep us gripped. The fallibility of refs gives us hope, despair, hilarity, victory, defeat and ultimately an experience where we can, thankfully, never be sure of the outcome. Just the same as nobody wants a spoiler for a hotly anticipated movie or TV show cliffhanger, nobody, surely, would be excited if they were asked 'are you looking forward to going to the match today in which there will be absolutely no talking points, not a single moment of controversy and a completely flawless performances from the ref'? Football needs controversy, the column inches prove it, the content on this website proves it and the passion and ire of the mailboxers proves it. I feel like I should say 'that is all' now to give myself a better chance of getting published but I hate it when people do that. That is all.
Richard 'Hoping for a penalty given for a dive following a pass received whilst ten yards offside after a corner dribbled straight from the corner quadrant given while the ref was looking the other way' Malpass
Swapsies?
Michiel Jongsma mentioned that Wayne Rooney would be a good transfer for Arsenal. Might I suggest a swap deal with Jack Wilshere?
Arsenal gets a top drawer striker to lead their line and put the ball in the net, while United gets a midfielder their fans are craving for. A win-win for both sides? I thought so. You heard it here first!
Jerry Lee, New Jersey
Science!
Lee, Why are only left feet cultured?
Well Lee, I am not a man of science, but I am willing to take a barely educated stab at this. As far as I am aware the each side of the brain controls different types of thought. The right; recognition, emotions, intuition and creativity. The left; numbers, language, logic and reasoning. Also the each side of the body is controlled by the opposite side of the brain, left is right and vice versa. So it stands that left footed players are stimulating the right side of the brain when they play, which may go some way to explaining why so many lefties have been blessed with a certain creative spark. Personally I am left footed and right handed, so I think that makes me near enough perfect.
Sam, waiting for someone who actually knows what they are talking about to put me in my place.
On Sunderland
First e-mail to F365 so bear with me
Being a Sunderland fan is never easy. I'm almost 19 (some people may dismiss my youth as lack of wisdom) and have seen: four promotions, three relegations (twice with record low points totals), one fantastic but horrible day out at Wembley, very few victories over our rivals, about 10 managers and countless sacks of absolute garbage to "play" for us.
But if we were to go down this season, this would be by far the worst experience.
Last season we were inspired by MON. His energy, enthusiasm and passion willed us onto a mid-table finish and a decent run in the FA Cup. The summer of 2012 was meant to be a one of hope. We were going to sign great players and have a very good season.
It just has not happened. Despite a brief decent period over Xmas, we are slowly sinking into the drop zone. We play central midfielders at full back, an overweight Geordie lummock up front, £10m of crap on the wing, Seb Larsson who is beyond rubbish and our CB partnership of O'Shea and Bramble....I have seen milk turn quicker than them two.
We've said for years on Wearside "This is the season we will kick on and finish top-half without relegation fears" and every year is the same. Looking over our shoulder nervously as the dreaded R word hovers round until Late April. We usually survive. This year I genuinely feel our time could be up.
This is not a knee-jerk either. We've been poor all season and only QPR, Reading, Wigan etc being awful has kept our heads afloat. But now these teams are starting to show fight and pick up points. We're doing the opposite.
Don't let people tell you we are "too good to go down". I saw one bookies offering us 14/1 to be relegated. Stick a fiver on.
Jack (TheGuru)
Ps- Sincerely hope, as usual, my predictions have been dross.
The Villas-Boas Defence
I'm sure you'll have had a few responses to Luca's email, and I can't believe I'm actually responding but here goes:
AVB hasn't failed at every big club he has been at. AVB has only underachieved in one job. This is a job where basically, he dropped a couple of players who happen to be media darlings, who then ran to said media who are obsessed with the national team and think the sun shines out of their backsides, with a load of stories.
He is doing well at Spurs (I know you were having a dig about Spurs being a small club) and some would say that he did well at Porto, who happen to be quite a big club. They won the champions league once, which your bunch of overpaid wasters haven't managed to do.
Secondly, its a mark of your bitterness (seemingly caused by years of trophyless seasons) that you seem to be going along with this ridiculous 'one man team' argument, and that AVB's 'success' so far this season is all down to Bale. Let me break this down into terms that an internet troll can understand. Football is a team game. Football matches are not won by one player alone. It wouldn't matter how good Bale is if our back four for example was Jenkinson, Vermaelen, Mertesacker and Monreal, because the clueless bunch of morons would concede more goals than we, or should I say 'Bale', would score. Our team is being coached...day in day out. I think most people in the know in this esteemed Mailbox will know that Spurs had some pretty significant defensive problems at the start of the season, most notably conceding goals in the last 10 minutes of games. Now, we could try the Wenger approach which would be to buy a sandpit from the local Toys R Us and bury your head in it, or you could actually do something about it, like AVB clearly has. You see, as much as a lot of Tottenham's recent run of good form is down to Bale's incredible form, the real success is down to how we have changed our approach as a team, through hard work on the training pitch.
First 15 games in the Premier League - 20 goals conceded in the second half of games. 10 of those were in the last 10 minutes of games, costing us about 8 points.
Last 13 games in the Premier League - 3 goals conceded in the second half of games. 0 of those were in the last 10 minutes of games. In fact, we have started scoring lots more goals in the last 10 minutes of games.
AVB always conducted training drills to last 90 minutes, with a short break halfway through, which is something that Mourinho always does. Drills would be repetitive to the point where they become second nature to the players, but in no particular clear order of difficulty or intensity. Sensing due to the statistics I have given, that the players were losing concentration late on in games, subtle changes were made to this to make drills more and more difficult throughout the 90 minutes of training, culminating in the last 10-15 minutes where concentration and application was at its most difficult. The difference on the pitch is clear for all to see.We're harder to beat, organised and still dangerous. We are winning games late because we're in the position to.
Now, if only we'd taken the approach of..."we are better than zee other teeeeem," eh? We may be below your lot in the table.
Keep on trollin'!
Ross THFC
Unbeaten
In response to (johnnybruff, Limerick) who was wondering if any team has gone the entire season IN ALL COMPETITONS unbeaten? Yes Jonny, yes there is, I remember it like it was yesterday. Preston North End went unbeaten in both league and Cup during the 1888-1889 season (1st ever English league).
Mark Whyte (Jimmy's winning matches, Jimmy's winning games) Donegal
...If johnnybruff is still wanting to find a team which went a whole season COMPLETELY unbeaten, then look no further! My Football Manager 2012 team Southampton went on such a run. It also included 23 straight wins in the the Premier League and the demolishing of Barcelona 8 - 3 in the Champions League.
Mohammad Ali, 19, Southampton
Tyldesley & The Pusscat Doll
In recent weeks, ITV's commentaries seem to have taken quite the kicking, with the "top team' of Tyldesley and Townsend in particular, but there has been an upside. On Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway, during the "Ant vs Dec" feature, we are treated to the weekly sight of ex-Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts, in a cocktail dress, stating "and now over to our commentator, Clive Tyldesley." A weekly highlight!
Andrew N, NUFC, Leeds
A New Thunderbastard On The Block
I've been quietly admiring the whole Thunderbastard topic from afar the last week or so. I've always been a champion of goalmouth scrambles or goalies coming up for corners but something converted me this Friday night in a spectacular manner.
Sat watching Genoa v AC Milan I decided to have a little flutter, accoring to Milan's most recent game a certain Giampaolo Pazzini notched a brace and Milan won by three goals to nil, so I decided to go with the form book and back him to score again and Milan to win.
Sitting down to watch the game I started to regret my bet when the commentators referred to him as the Italian Berbatov and how he was lazy and a manager's nightmare. It was all looking futile when he was given a dead leg by one of the Genoa defenders within the opening minutes, cue Pazzini hobbling around and signalling to the bench his race was run. The ball then fell to him with his back to goal insde the Genoa half, he played it out wide and hobbbled along to catch up with play, then he limped onto a loose ball in the box and absolutely creamed the mother of all thunderbastards in off the underside of the bar. He celebrated toward the camera kissing a V made out of his fingers and then was taken off because of his injury, all inside 25 minutes. They eventually won 2-0 but the all important moral of the story is...there's a new Thunderbastard on the block.
Click here.
John Callaghan
