But it must only be used for a shot seemingly launched from a catapult with reckless abandon. We also have mails on Dimi Berbatov, Cesc Fabregas and lots more...
That's the question posed in a wide and varied Mailbox, along with several others including Lloris dropping bollocks, Stewie Griffin's return & a thank you to David Healy...
If you have anything to say on any subject, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org
Mailbox Fantasy Football
I am not sure if this has already been done for the coming season, I haven't seen it in the mailbox yet, and seen as I named the league, I have set up the Conor Byrne Memorial Cup fantast football league, I hope Conor joins up seeing as he has made a triumphant return to the mailbox since it first set up, the code is 304296-356836 .
Tony MUFC Eire
There's been a few emails and articles about predictions/hopes and dreams for this season so I thought I'd weigh in with my own:
1. Stoke fans rebel and stop attending games when Mark Hughes refuses to persist with long ball football and actually attempts to play the beautiful game. Cameron Jerome finishes top scorer and everyone discovers "he's quite good with his feet for a big man"
2. Suarez retires from football and opens a number of cosmetic dental surgery businesses around the country.
3. Howard Webb finally has enough of the Wayne Rooney transfer saga, confronts him on the pitch and ends up punching him. Nani responds by grabbing his face, going down and signalling for a card. Later, confronted with TV replays, Nani insists it was sympathetic pain he felt as he saw the impact. Webb, for his part, insists he is not a Man Utd fan. Cameras show he wears his utd pyjamas beneath his kit on game day.
4. Footballers learn to embrace the passion of their fans. Bale and Sturridge realise that everyone thinks they're bell ends when they do their shape or their dance having scored. They instead just run around with their hands above their head screaming like children. Finally.
5. The Sun runs an exclusive claiming that Rooney in an effort to force through a transfer is planning to declare himself for Scotland. People all over the country collectively realise the paper spouts total bollocks and just stop buying it.
Dan (Well Bored) Benvenuto argues that Liverpool would have finished higher up the table, possibly even ahead of Spurs and Everton, if it wasn't for all those games they lost.
Hard to disagree really.
Dan (not Benvenuto) Bradley
...I'll happily take our 'p***-poor manager' and his 'dog-rank tactics' over Brendan Rodgers, thanks.
Is Dan Benvenuto an alias for Adrian Durham?
...That's some bullsh*t this morning from the ever reliable Dan. Liverpool are going to be fine this season because they performed better than the top two clubs when said clubs had nothing left to play for, and managed to be better than Spurs for a few games at the end of the season but not good enough to finish any closer than 11 points from them.
Liverpool will move up the table if they can start to beat a few of the teams that where/are better than them including the three above they supposedly surpassed, not because they won some no pressure games of at the back end of last season.
...Liverpool we're above Spuds, Man City and Man Utd in the form table for the last dozen games, I'll give them that. But that included games against Reading, Aston Villa, Southampton, Wigan Athletic, QPR, Fulham and Newcastle United. Where we're they in the table? Oh, that's right. Three of them we're relegated, you lost to Southampton who just scraped by, you hammered a Newcastle team who were lucky to stay up, you drew 0-0 with Everton (hardly inspiring) and you beat a Fulham side on a dreadful run. The start of your rise to the top of the form table included beating a Swansea reserves side who were more bothered about winning a cup and actually qualifying for European football this coming season.
Spurs fixtures in the last games? Spurs beat Arsenal, West Ham, Southampton (who Liverpool failed to beat), drew at Everton (as did Liverpool). They beat Manchester City, drew with Chelsea and they only played one relegated team (Wigan).
As for AVB being a "terrible" manager. Really? He didn't do fantastically well at Porto? or didn't lead Spurs to their highest ever points total in the Premier League? Which may I add, was actually HIGHER than Liverpool's next season (by 11 points). He is by far more tactically astute than a man who failed at Reading and carried on the good work of two previous managers at Swansea (Martinez built the foundation, Paulo Sousa carried on the good work, Rodgers got the credit).
In case you didn't know: a season is based on 38 games, not 12.
Mat, Leeds. (I don't support Spurs, unfortunately it's Leeds for me)
Well I have to say I disagree with pretty much everything Neil Green (THFC) said in this morning's mailbox.
"we are 'stuck' with a player whose dreams we crushed" Based on who's say so Neil? Marca's? Yes, he may be annoyed but I'm sure he'll get over it - £150k per week will help soften the blow I'm sure.
"The most we can hope for is that he performs at an even higher level to keep himself in the shop window for an entire season or at least until January. Oh and that he doesn't get injured." - The most I'm hoping for Neil, is a Bale inspired spurs finish third/fourth in the league (certainly not out of the question if he stays) plus a good run in the cups. There is also a fair chance that Bale has a great time playing with superior players to last year (Soldado & Paulinho to name but two), and after finally achieving a top four finish it would not be a surprise to me if he's keen to lead us in to the Champions League the following season.
While I do agree that £85 million is crazy, when you consider the impact (and not just financially) that he alone could potentially have on our club over the next few years, that figures becomes less and less crazy. He is a winner, the most exciting player we've had at the lane for a long, long time and a true legend in the making.
Why do you seem so depressed Neil? I for one have never been more excited about a new season in my life.
When you talk about the value of Gareth Bale, I think you are failing to see the bigger picture of his true worth to Tottenham as a club. The biggest bugbear of mine this summer is the constant comparison of Bale and Ronaldo and their respective transfer fee, as if we are talking about the individual talents of the players and nothing else.
Firstly, there have been significant changes in football's economic landscape in recent years. Without taking into account inflation in its own right as a natural economic schism, we have a growing number of nouveau riche clubs inflating transfer fees and wages. For example, since Ronaldo left Utd, Manchester City, Monaco, PSG, Malaga and Anzhi Machhakunamatatakala have spent ridiculous sums of money on transfers and wages. I reckon it would cost an outlay of £25m to buy Marian Pahars and give him a five year contract in the current market!
Secondly, The difference in club stature between Spurs and Manchester United is impossible to overstate. Manchester United are arguably the biggest club in the world, with the biggest stadium in the Premier League and fantastic pulling power in terms of players, sponsors etc etc. Tottenham on the other hand, have the 11th biggest stadium in the Premier League and are looking for funding for a new stadium. Gareth Bale at the moment is on the cusp of being a global megastar, and Daniel Levy/Joe Lewis will be all too aware of what he can bring to Tottenham Hotspur in a commercial sense. We've seen the billboards and NBC adverts in the states and Gareth Bale is plastered all over them, resplendent in full Tottenham Hotspur kit. The exposure to new football fans with Bale in our team is worth a lot more to us, and even if we keep him for another year to add to the purchases we've made this summer, we will be a force to be reckoned with. If we manage to secure Champions League football as a result, we can afford to do business with Madrid then for a far less exorbitant figure. Tottenham as a brand (yuk I know) is growing in the States and keeping Bale for a little longer is paramount in maintaining this. The higher profile we hold, the better chance we have of securing finance for a new stadium which under FFP, will help facilitate the natural growth of our club, as without it, we run a real risk of stagnating.
Thirdly, whilst it appears Gareth Bale wants to play for Real Madrid, and I certainly believe that he and most players obviously would love to, that doesn't mean that he would be extremely unhappy to stay at Spurs for one more year. He is only just 24 years old and he is under contract for a further 3 years. We really do not have to simply do as he apparently wishes. Bale will enjoy the financial security a contract brings and Spurs are well within their rights to exercise the power the contract holds for them, in the first two years anyhow. As soon as the contract rolls into the final two years I believe the balance of power swings in the players favour, but not before. You can't really compare Modric and Bale as they are different personalities. It remains to be seen whether or not Bale goes on strike or puts in a transfer request, but right now, it doesn't appear he is going all out aggression for a move like Modric did. He has made no comment, has reported to training and does seem to be carrying a legitimate injury...call me naïve, but Wales have him training on his own doing light exercises and would want him to play if fit. Tottenham's agenda doesn't really matter to Wales much.
We're not crushing anybody's dreams, we're not being greedy, we're simply exercising our right as a club to protect our biggest asset. He didn't sign the contract under duress. His agent would have knew what type of personality Daniel Levy is and that he would not let Bale go on the cheap. This bleating about players being held hostage by clubs is really starting to grind my gears. It's all well and good signing your 4 year deal for your financial security, but there are contractual obligations that players should adhere to. Bale is barely a year into a 4 year deal so shouldn't really be agitating for a move already. All in all, these issues are caused by greedy agents who do nothing but suck money out of the game. Fair play to Daniel Levy for not backing down to the international bully of football that is Real Madrid
How Do Arsenal Do It?
Wenger - stupid, past it, rubbish at transfers, tactically inept
Szczęsny - makes too many mistakes, too young
jenkinson - makes too many mistakes, came from Charlton
Sagna - past it, cant cross, generally rubbish
Kosceilny - improved, but still needs replacing
Mertersacker - too slow, over-rated
Vermahlen - past it, exposed, rubbish captain
Gibbs - too injury prone, not ashley cole
Diaby - too injury prone
Arteta - too slow and old
Ramsey - not very good at anything
Giroud - not RVP
Rosicky - too old, too injury prone
Walcott - no final ball or brain
Podolski - no creativity
Wilshere - too injury prone
Cazorla - too slow, not Mata or Silva
These are all the regular tosh that arsenal 'fans' and other idiots send into the mailbox, which leaves me to ask the question... If Wenger and the Arsenal squad are soo obviously flawed, then how comes they consistently finish 3rd or 4th EVERY season in 'the best league in the world'?
Is there a very very very small chance that the majority don't know what the f**k they are talking about and Wenger is a genius? I know which camp im in.
Scared About United
As a United fan, I am not going to start wailing about 'Waz' Rooney (seriously?) potentially leaving or who we are going to buy but I do have concerns about the pressure on Moyes.
Looking objectively at the situation he finds himself in, I hope he has the strength of character to resist doing something silly but I also hope he has the strength to do what is required. I have my opinion, which is that we are dangerously close to having a bloated squad of players, the majority of which will play an ineffective part in this season and I hope that Moyes has his opinion, even if it differs from mine. If I look at the current squad, there are a large number of players who were not cheap and for whom I would regard this as a make or break season: Fabio Da Silva, Nani, Anderson, Valencia, Cleverly, Buttner, Kagawa, Young, Welbeck, Powell and Bebe.
Then there are the others who are young/unproven: Januzaj, Zaha, Powell and Henriquez.
That first list scares the hell out of me, the list of players we can have confidence in is small and getting smaller as players like Scholes are not adequately replaced: De Gea, Vidic, Smalling, Jones, Evans, Ferdinand, Rafael, Evra (usually), Giggs (bit part?), Rooney (leaving?), Carrick, Van Persie, Hernandez and that's it, in my opinion, 13 players and only Carrick in midfield.
The good news is that Moyes has noticed Fergie's blind spot of a playmaker in midfield, the worry is that having missed out on Fabregas, he bows to pressure and signs another incomplete talent who doesn't quite make it at the highest level. A worse scenario is that he really bows to pressure and tries to buy Ronaldo/Bale/Messi/a.n.other superstar to show that he is the new manager. Whilst I would love to have Ronaldo back, it won't address the gaping hole in the middle of the park and would add a huge whack to the wage bill.
So, I guess it's damned if you do and damned if you don't for Moyes, the sensible fans want a signing to address the midfield woes, the less sensible fans want Ronaldo back to show United are still world class under Moyes and fans of the other teams want to see the media circus continue whilst United sign no-one. The best scenario for me would be Modric and Fellaini, two proven players with slightly different talents, with Carrick as back-up, I would also like to see the list of never-will-be's reduced by January or at the end of the season, hopefully with a few either coming back to their best (Valencia) or improving (Cleverly) to be players we can rely on week in, week out. Maybe I'm dreaming but I live in hope!
Paul Milton, Man Utd
Fixing The Transfer System, Apparently
Is anyone else ready for freedom of contracts in football? I am. And before the "Armageddon" doomsayers leap in I'm going to explain how this new system would work (as simply as possible).
Firstly, and most importantly we need transparency - its not hard the MLS publishes salaries and contract lengths every year - clubs are still able to keep their rewards and bonus system confidential however the whole system will be based on annual salaries. Secondly, the system will work in two ways (although they possibly both end in the same outcome) the first way is what we will call a "transfer with agreement" and the second we will call a "transfer with notice".
Before we get to explaining how either of these systems work the most important thing is to work out the transfer fee under the contract or how much the player needs to pay if he gives notice. The notice fee is: (annual salary x term of contract) + compensation fee. The compensation fee would be a proportion of the total contract not exceeding 25% ordinarily annually before reducing to zero in the final year of contract (e.g. on a 5 yr contract - yr 1 = 25%, yr = 20%, yr 3 = 15% and so on). The transfer fee if the player is "transferred with agreement" is: (annual salary x term of contract) + compensation fee. The compensation fee would be a proportion of the contract not exceeding 100% of the value under the contract.
So, to make it absolutely clear (to those at the back) if player X who is paid £1m a year on a 5 year contract wishes to leave by notice after 1 season then the maximum fee he pays is: (£1m x 5 years) + £1.25m (25% compensation fee) = £6.25m if he proposes to leave by transfer then the maximum possible fee is: (£1m x 5yrs) + £5m (100% compensation fee) = £10m. Pls note the use of the word "maximum".
I know what you're thinking - buying clubs will just give the player the lower fee to exit their contract. Not so fast. As I said above there will be two systems in place, under the "transfer with agreement" system transfers may take place in either the spring and summer transfer windows however under the notice system, transfers may only take place during the summer transfer window (if you want instant gratification you have to pay for it) and in order to exercise your notice the player must notify their club one summer transfer window in advance and where the player is not meeting their own compensation fee - they must also identify the club that is providing the funds (try playing for a whole season when everyone (a) knows you're going and (b) knows where you're going to).
To stop excessive movement you would probably need a moratorium period of at least one year where the player cannot give notice, but otherwise bingo everything's sorted.
Obviously, now I've fixed the transfer system for adults (i.e. over 18s) I need to eat a few Krispy Kremes to fuel the brain to think about a suitable system for the kids. Oh and Sepp/Michel make cheques payable to...
Iheke "I'm gonna be rich" Ndukwe
'Farnborough FC Sign Messi'
Yes, you read that right.
Patience - It'll Be Thursday Or Friday
Come on F365 get those predictions up!!