One Mailboxer may have spent lunch in the pub in suggesting Van Persie could go back to Arsenal. Also, some Premier League meh-ing and a fine Acewatch suggestion...
Even the lesser teams have players like Luis Suarez and Romelu Lukaku so it's all bloody good fun. But mostly the mailbox features United fans being told to grow up...
If you have anything to say on any subject, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org
If You Didn't Know Who He Was...
The more I think about it the more I think Bendtner needs to be brought back into the fold at Arsenal.
Our manager seems either incapable or unwilling to actually spend some money and bring in another striker.
It's all very well saying we should wait until September 2nd but quite frankly it's not as if the need for new recruits is a new thing. We never adequately replaced RVP with a proper striker and it was obvious if the club wants to be considered big time then a top talent up front is of paramount importance. We knew that in January not June so the wheels should have been in motion since January to bring someone in.
As it is our squad has fewer players than it's had in years and the manager doesn't seem to care.
Arsenal fans may be Londoners but we're not the richest in the country. Some of our fans scrape the money together or take loans to secure a season ticket and the fact we spend £2.7m a year paying Bendtner's wages is a startling waste of money.
Yes, he seems a bit of a tit but if you didn't know who he was, aged 25 international striker with not a bad record for the club, doesn't need to settle in etc sounds like quite a good deal. If we're not going to buy anyone, give Bendtner a season and see how he does. It's a win/win. We're not wasting our money, he gets the chance to put himself in the shop window and if at the end of the season he's scored a bunch of goals and wants to leave we get a hefty lot of cash.
Graham Simons, Gooner, Norf London
Spurs Can Challenge
In response to Dave (THFC) with regards to the Bale saga; he says "The most I'm hoping for Neil, is a Bale inspired spurs finish third/fourth in the league".
Before I say this, I'd like to confess to being a Liverpool fan. So, fellow 'pool fans, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I think Dave has set his standards a wee bit low. I genuinely think the Spuds have a good chance at winning the league this season, assuming they hang on to Bale. Their midfield, in my opinion (please remember, this is my opinion and that I'm not pretending this is fact), could be the strongest in the premiership this season.
Also, I really think this one of the many rots in football these days. If a Spuds fan suggests his team have a chance at winning the league, they're shot down. Constantly. This is also the case for Arsenal and even my beloved Liverpool (Now, I'm not saying we will win the league, but can I not dream? Can I not start the season with the most craziest and optimistic of dreams and then slowly adjust them as the season progresses?). This happens so much, that these supporters stop dreaming of winning the league and so aim only for champions league football. What has gone wrong, when the pinnacle of a supporters dream is to take part in the champions league over winning the championship??
That's all for now.
Arun (honestly, I'm a 'pool fan.... And I also want Suarez out)
Rooney To Spurs?
The most obvious transfer swap of the season has to be Rooney to Spurs with Bale going the other way. Obviously Utd would have to ante up a nice wedge of cash into the bargain but to me it's a no brainer. Yet it's not been even mentioned in the press to my knowledge.
Spurs get the goal scorer they need to link with Soldado. They also get the hero of the national side, a massive marketing plus and a ton of cash to fund the 50m plus purchases they ve made this summer.
Utd get the next Ronaldo. Rid of Rooney. Rub Real's nose in it. Replace Giggs on the left ten years too late. Prove Moyes has the chops and p*ss Jose off.
That is a win win in anyone's book.
Expect the deal to conclude by the weekend.
You heard it here first!
Bit late on this, as I was concentrating on replying to Neil, whose opinion I don't agree with but I respected as it was put across in an eloquent manner.
Just wanted to question a few things.
Any reason why you chose the last 12 games for the form guide? Would it be because you had favourable games and a nice W7, D4, L1 record...which was a whopping 1 point more than Spurs got having travelled away to Liverpool, Stoke and Chelsea and played Citeh and Arsenal at home?
Can I ask why you didn't do form for the last 14 games of the season for example? Would it be because this would give you a record of W7, D5, L2 compared to Spurs W9, D3, L2? Funny that!
As for your assertion that AVB is a p*sspoor manager who relied on Bale's screamers...the only time when AVB can be truly glad of Bale's brilliance was v Southampton at home, when we were really poor. Away at West Ham, having looked back, we had 26 shots on goal, including numerous goal line clearances and Jaaskelainen was named man of the match, despite conceding 3 goals. As for the Sunderland game on the last day, we absolutely battered them from start to finish and I doubt even the most ardent Sunderland fan would argue with that. Newcastle at home when he scored twice he was playing as a forward and West Brom away again we were playing without a recognised forward as Defoe started the game as our only available striker and hobbled off after 10 mins.
Spurs played some unadventurous football last season at times, 2 DM's at home early on for example, but despite missing key players for long periods, an entire month without a recognised striker thanks to Daniel Levy and a dastardly tabloid smear campaign against AVB early doors, we reached our highest Premier League points total, won double figures away games for the first time since 1984-85 season, scored the same number of goals as the season before where our tabloid pals would tell you Harry had us playing like the 1982 Brazil side and were by and large a much more effective team unit.
In fact, the only reason you beat us at Anfield was two absolute brain farts by Kyle Walker and Ekotto. We had you completely under control...and I don't remember a Bale screamer in that game, just two great Jan Vertonghen goals. Once AVB had settled in after a shaky start to the season where Spurs lost 5 of the first 12 games and many of the so called experts out there were writing us off, we went on to collect 55 points from the next available 78 - P26, W16, D7, L3 - An average points per game of 2.11 which gets you over 80 points during a season. Not bad for a team with a clown in charge.
I'm not going to have a dig at Brenton Rodgers as it would be cheap on my part, but to label AVB as p*sspoor just makes you look and sound a bit dim...and misinformed. In fact...ADRIAN DURHAM???IS THAT YOU????
...Ah yes Daniel Benvenuto, the form table. Quite useful during the season to see how teams are getting on recently, which teams are in freefall or which are making that push for Europe.
But you see Daniel, the problem is that you've used it as the be all and end all, the absolute truth behind the Premier League. You've used 12 games to say that Liverpool should be in the top four, 4 games to say they're better without Suarez, and written off August-December, which are the first four and a half months as "a horrendous start to the campaign".
Most people use the barometer of 38 games to judge how a team has done, Daniel. You can even read the whole lot on one handy list all over the internet rather than putting your own stats together.
Oh and to Neil Green, THFC: could you show us where you heard that Bale said he wanted out of Spurs? Every media outlet in the world is looking for that and I'm just wondering how you got a hold of it? Thanks.
Love In An Elevator
Who would you rather be trapped in a lift with? ChrisMUFC or Daniel Benvenuto?
I seem to recall Daniel stating last season that he was going to cancel his TV License so that he wouldn't have to watch Liverpool and their awful manager play their awful football. Now he's writing in saying that they could've got top four last year! For that reason my money goes on ChrisMUFC, he seems (marginally) less annoying...
Tim in Slough, is there a chance you never thought you'd say this, but you'd like to hear more from Gareth?
Ian, LFC (sure he's never heard anything like that before) Hartford, CT USA
Thank you, Mark Bickell, for your most refreshing and reassuring email. My jaw dropped and I gasped in relief as I discovered that I am not the only one bewildered by the recent volumes of ego-flattering, tabloid-regurgitating, glory-hunting, fantasy-footballing, two-plus-two-equals-threeing, conspiracy-theoring, debilitating/tea-bagging/brain-farting/douche-bagging nonsense that keeps getting published in the mailbox this transfer window.
It's nice to know that a seasoned, reasonable Gunner is still out there somewhere, clenching his mouse and shaking his head at the content of this page that was once light-hearted and amusing, at a time when football was actually being played; edging closer to boiling point as he reads the next "big four" supporting internet warrior informing Arsène Wenger that "he'll take"
I feel your pain, Mark Bickell. Thank you for feeling mine.
David Bro (bring on Villa)
...I know that we Liverpool fans get a bit of grief over our paranoia, but I have never in all my life known such a bunch of whiny, small minded, paranoid and vocal babies as Arsenal fans.
Every single article about them brings out dozens of comments from keyboard warriors with no grasp of perspective. Any opinion that differs from their's is 'biased' and followed by a ridiculous level of vitriol. The rather dull and predictable season preview by Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville on the Sky website is a case in point. Carragher makes some predictable but not unkind predictions about Arsenal (effectively they will probably maintain 4th but do no better if they don't buy some players), but the responses from Arsenal fans dominate and are ridiculously self-indulgent.
Having previously lived in North London and been surrounded by Gooners, I have to say that they all too often bear this out in person. I still like Arsenal as a team but their fans are by some distance my least favorite in the Premier League. Does anyone else find them unbelievably annoying, or have another group they can't bear?
Luke, Red in Sussex (when you wash your hands and feet wash your Arse n'all)
On The New Transfer System
I know what you're going to say, never argue with an idiot as they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Nevertheless I am going to attempt a dissection of Iheke Ndukwe's brilliant new transfer system.
Firstly let's assume that contract law in all of the various nations of the world is such that your "transfer with notice" and "transfer with agreement" are actually legally enforceable.
Secondly, we have the suggestion of two different "types" of transfers - with agreement (by which I'm guessing that the selling club and player involved both agree to the deal) and with notice (by which I'm guessing that the player gives his notice to the selling club). Straight away we are missing a needed transfer type - where the club wants to sell but the player doesn't want to move. But for ease of reply, let's assume that all players always want to be transferred when they're being sold (Keith Andrews might think differently).
Hopefully at this point it's pretty clear how massive these assumptions are. But let's just go ahead and assume them anyway for the sake of argument.
So with our huge assumptions out of the way, let's look at the number crunching itself. Unfortunately it's just not as easy as this (already complicated) formula tries to make it. Just one situation where this would fall down would be a lower league club whose star player is being targeted by a larger team (for example, Gary Hooper from League One Scunthorpe to Scottish Premier Celtic) - the selling club might want to hold out for a good fee, but this rigid system would force them to take a pittance based on the lower wages being paid in the lower leagues.
The other side of this coin would be players signed on high wages who struggle for a spot in a team and are then quietly moved on at a reduced fee (James McClean, Jonjo Shelvey, Stewart Downing, to name but a few) - this system would effectively price these players out of the market, forcing them to "do a Bogarde" and sit out their expensive long term deal unless someone comes in willing to buy them out of it. Lose-lose-lose situation.
I have to say that I do welcome almost anything that would end the painful dullness of listening to people wittering on about the summer transfer saga of choice - but seriously, this is probably the worst idea since Suarez decided that Ivanovic's shoulder looked tasty.
Terry Hall, Switzerland