Our sentiments exactly. But it seems some do care. We have lots of mails about Tim Sherwood (he's not popular) as well as HIT IT, TENNIS and other variations...
The MC isn't convinced Joleon Lescott is what Man United need at the moment, but that's one suggestion in the morning mailbox. Plus, plenty of moaning from Spurs fans...
If you have anything to say on any subject, mail us at email@example.com
Fergie Sure Can Pick Them
While reading the Paul Lambert debate I was reminded of the fact that The Great And Wise And Red-Nosed One recommended Alex McLeish to Villa. That went well. And now Moyes to United. That's going well.
Are these cases of Fergie just getting jobs for his Scottish mates, despite them being laughably inappropriate choices?
Or, is managerial positions another of Fergie's blindspots, along with central midfield?
Just a musing.
Liam, Brummie in Cornwall
Moyes Needs To Punch A Granny Carrying A Kitten
We are led to believe that no player is bigger than the club, but to some extent, Manchester United under SAF was a case of no player being bigger than the manager with numerous examples that suggest this to be the case.
It's no secret that in today's game, the power rests with the players, and not so much the manager. If they don't like what the manager is saying, or how he is treating them, it's pretty simple, take it easy - see Jol and Fulham. A few bad results and the new guy will be coming in. I think part of the reason that United were successful under Ferguson, is that they would always put in the effort. You had to stay on the gaffer's right side because there was every chance that you would get shipped out before him, and as a result, not so much of a big pay day. This has to be one of the advantages of having a long-serving manager.
With Moyes, this all has to start again. A string of bad results and plenty of calls for the manager's head, fans creating shortlists of ideal candidates etc. Here's the thing, yes United could get a new manager in, but what are the chances that he would stay around long enough to create the same environment as Ferguson? Yes United are a massive club, but there are plenty of clubs that could offer the same resources to a manager but with better weather if it's just a case of massaging a few egos for a few seasons. In all fairness, could anybody see Moyes going to Madrid/Barcelona/Bayern? if they came calling? Furthermore, if you're constantly changing managers, time and time again we see that this results in constant changing of playing staff. The new guy wants new players (probably because he knows the new players might put in the effort he asks them to), and for the kind of players United would want, could you see the Glazers parting with that kind of cash on a regular basis?
Solutions I hear you ask. Everybody could just stop asking for the manager's head, which is no fun and the current widespread moaning and the resulting soundbites from Moyes are also becoming tedious - and this is supposed to be an entertainment business. So I propose, a clearly off-his-face Charlie Sheen wheels a granny carrying a kitten into the next press conference and lets Moyes punch the granny, and then punch the kitten. The United press officer echoes the board in emphasising Moyes is going nowhere, even if it's jail, he can manage from there. Result = players have to recognise that what the manager says, goes and may actually start putting in the effort.
I appreciate that it might just be a case of Moyes actually being out of his depth and this being a step too far, especially when you consider it was Ferguson who suggested that Alex Mcleish would be a good appointment for Villa lol. But you also need to recognise that with the players United do have, how bad have the tactics got to be for them to produce the results they have done if every player was putting in the same effort they did under Ferguson. Chances are that neither the granny or the kitten could get them that wrong so it can't all be Moyes' fault.
So come on you die-hard United fans, who's willing to offer their granny and kitten for the good of your club.
VJ (Unfortunately grannyless, fortunately kittenless) WBA
Man United's Purge XI
In line with all this talk of impending purge exercise at OT and the seemingly patient approach being taken on DM,
I just thought I would do the bosses there a favour and hasten the process by writing them my Purge 11 line-up.
(*players not listed by position or in any specific order):
1. Ryan Giggs (thanks for being a loyal servant since I was a kid but your time's up papa)
2. Rio Ferdinand (I think you need to spend more time on Twitter and expanding the clothing line, time's up)
3. Tom Cleverley (why don't you step ASIDE and let more talented players take your spot in Moyes 11 - I don't mind him as a sub)
4. Nemanja Vidic (thanks man for being a stalwart in our defense but let's be honest, you have not been around most games in the past seasons due to injury - time for new blood)
5. Papa Evra (not really a priority based on current form but one for the long term perhaps - enter Coentrao)
6. Anderson (I think we have been patient enough man, you need to checkin to Pie Rehab ASAP and maybe you might have a chance for the Winter world cup)
7. Ashley Young (why don't you just go to La Liga and tumble all you like that side coz they don't really mind?)
8. RVP (my theory is he is injury prone when he does not want to play for the gaffer, so I think we might as well cash in on him and perhaps give Chicharito a chance)
9. Michael Carrick (I think you are overrated to be honest, you are really exposed against top teams)
10. Fellaini (well, I have really been disappointed by the few games that you have donned the Red Jersey.
11. Phil Neville and gang (* no additional clarification required, the confused look I always see on TV suggests the players can sense you lack belief in yourselves)
Oh crap, I think we might just need to bring in an entire team - have the Glazers considered just having a hostile takeover of Everton, bid a few billions from the DHL and Chevy deals and we might have killed two birds with one stone.
Wenyimo, Mkoba 17, Gweru, Zimbabwe
Thank you for a well-written and still honest article, Alistair Tweedale.
I really do miss the Gingerbread-Giant-of-United more than ever after reading that.
Manc In SA (slightly depressed already though...comparing Paul with Tom...like comparing peaches with poo)
Moyes And United Can't Handle Change
With Man Utd's pontifications about how to handle their regime changealready looking risible, could it be that the very 'experience' they are preaching is at least partially to blame? Through highlighting the need for stability and experience of building a club, they have gone 26 years without actually having the practical experience of managerial change. Added to this, they have appointed an already under-qualified manager, who due to his previous "stability", has only ever had the experience of starting afresh at two other clubs, the last of which was 11 years ago.
A lot has changed in 11 years, never mind the step up in scale from Everton. In many ways, they have actually picked the one "experienced" manager with the least experience of taking over at a new club. So, considering this joint knowledge-gap, it probably isn't then the best idea to exacerbate the situation further by getting rid of all the coaches who had experience of a schedule that managed multiple fronts, while partially replacing them with two novice first-team coaches.
...I know the David Moyes saga has been written about and discussed to extreme lengths already, but what occurred to me today is something I have not read about so far. So I thought of sharing it with the esteemed mailbox readers and get to know what they think.
The real issue with David Moyes is that he has not experienced change. He was with Everton for ten years, so the last time he actually had to adapt to a new situation was a decade ago. Most managers these days stay at a club/country for 2-3 years max (if they are lucky) and then move on to another assignment. All the big managers I could think of - all of them have been moving around - Mourinho, Pep, Cappello, Hiddink etc etc. Adapting to a new setup and new situations is also an art which of course gets better with practice. Moyes has no practice at all. He was at Everton for such a long time.. he was in a comfortable situation with known surroundings, staff, stadium etc. Suddenly you put him in a new maze called Manchester United (which itself hadn't witnessed change for 26 years) and it is a recipe for disaster.
What Moyes and United need are at least two years with each other. I reckon in the third season will we able to see the real effects of Moyes and his capabilities. By then at least four transfer seasons would have passed and that will be time enough for Moyes to bring in the players he wants, and let go of those he doesnt - also try and find the best system he wants to employ.
Of course, the big questions remains - is it really possible for a football club to give two years to a manager without worrying about the results in today's fickle and impatient information age where every win and every loss makes someone a title favorite or a total loser. What do you think?
Ayaz (I really have a feeling this will get published. The last time it happened was two years ago.) MUFC
Stop It With The Stats!
Can we please stop with these mean-nothing stats that all the media opinion holders keep churning out just to cause mayhem in the football world.
It all started with the Premier League, it created a clean sheet for all stats 'in the Premier League era'...football didn't suddenly change with the birth of Super Sunday in 1992.
It's getting silly now, this season I've been peeved enough about stats being labelled at my own team and its players...'Soldado with one goal from open play so far this season'...do penalties not actually count as goals? A goal is a goal, if he scored 38 pens this season, I'd be over the moon and he'd probably walk away with the Golden boot? And when we finally started to bang in some goals (from open play), they were dis-credited because they were from outside the area and not showing that we'd scored a goal in the six-yard box. As a fan, I couldn't give two hoots about how a goal is scored, why should I be told otherwise?
Now, the major one being banded about is Man U on their worst start to a New Year since god knows when. It's three games...does it really matter when those three games were lost? It's halfway through the bloody season I'm sure they've lost three on the spin before...they could end up having the best second half of January since the shin pad was compulsory!
On this site, Mediawatch loves ripping into those who make silly claims with stats, but it's everywhere, you can't help yourselves.
Stop it, just stick with the wins, losses across the entire history of football. Because it's been worse for most teams before.
Are Physios Culpable?
As we all know only too well, your average Premier League footballer likes to roll around on the floor and feign injury. The majority of the time, this is obvious and is met with due derision from the stands and as such much be obvious to the physio.
However, there must be total complicity from the physio, faked concern, faked messages to the bench and then some faked congratulations on a miraculous recovery from a deadly injury.
At what point does the physio roll their eyes and just say words to the effect of - just get up you great big wuss, you're making a mockery of my profession and making yourself look a tool in front of 50,000 people?
Any thoughts or any physio want to come clean?
The Transfer Lottery Dream
I had a dream last night that the transfer window was a WWE style 'draft lottery'.
Not gonna lie, I'd be intrigued if it did actually happen. Every team gets a random transfer selection from another team in the league. Just imagine the possibilities.
In this reality, Sunderland could get someone as talented and beautiful as Juan Mata. United could lose Rooney and get Danny Graham in one fell swoop. The entire starting XI of any team could be drafted elsewhere. Chairmen and managers across the land having kittens at the potential windfall or drought that awaits them. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria.
A team's title push derailed by the drafting away of a key player. A team struggling around the bottom three getting major reinforcements. A world ruled by chaos and uncertainty. Admit it, that little primordial spark in you wants to see it. Even if it's just a little bit.
This is what 12-hour shifts and caffeine do to me. What the hell have I just typed. Gah!
Kris, LFC, Manchester