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M'ON Is An Idiot
A few times during this interminable transfer window, Villa fans have commented on MON's genius in handling the Barry transfer saga and in particular the cunning way in which he has forced Liverpool to pay top dollar. However, having just read the increasingly shrill comments that he has been making about the whole thing over the last couple of days, I just don't see that this assessment stacks up.

Fair enough, he got Liverpool to increase their offer pretty quickly by sticking an £18m price tag on Barry. However, by then stubbornly refusing to accept a penny less than this (and, if reports are to be believed, also valuing Finnan at just £1m), he has ended up in a position where his most consistent performer and club captain is unsettled and, presumably, also holds his manager personally responsible for blocking his career progression. Alonso's transfer now seems less likely to happen and so Liverpool seem to have taken the approach (in my view, rightly) that Barry's acquisition is a luxury rather than a necessity.

With Arsenal's apparent interest also not having materialised (now there's a shock), MON's chippy attitude and determination to have the last word appears to have resulted in him and his team having to go through the season with a bitter and unmotivated club captain, when they could have had £16m in the bank and a half-decent right back. Good work, Martin...
James Williams


...Well, the hugely-testicled Villa boss seems to be getting a little twitchy, doesn't he? Collar turned up, hands thrust deep into his pockets, sneaking increasingly frequent glances at the Church Hall clock, the Big Cojone is getting more and more worried that his date, the gorgeous, goateed, lady in red might not be just late, but may not turn up at all! He doesn't dare text her in case it makes him look desperate. "I know!" he thinks, "I'll text her mate and tell her if Rafa's not here by 11:00, I'm going out without her".

Poor Martin. It's later than he thinks it is.
Vaughan Davies



Panic Stations?
Is it just me or wasn't Liverpool's last bid, believed to be in the region of £15-16m, a "take it or leave it" final offer? Sounds very much to me like M'ON is quickly realised that he's royally ballsed this all up by playing hardball with a big club he assumed would finally stump up the cash but forgot whilst he was doing all that to keep his captain onside lest things fall through.

Maybe he should've been giving Barry a ring once or twice whilst the Euros were on after all....
Matt Houston, London


Good Question
When was the last time a premiership player submitted a transfer request? I mean, the formal type that sees the player forego his contractually guaranteed share of the transfer fee. It used to happen a fair bit, but in the last couple of years it has become something a bit antique, like standing up when ladies enter the room.

Possibly it was David Unsworth, at his wife's urging. Or does anyone have a more recent example of it?
Lewis, Beijing, China


A Word On Loyalty
If Paul Scholes and Gary Neville had come through the Villa academy (for example), do these Man U fans writing into the mailbox really think that their "loyalty" would still see them playing in Villa shirts to this very day? Surely it's quite easy to be "loyal" when your team wins more than anyone else?

Players like Matt Le Tissier and Alan Shearer, on the other hand, are the ones to be commended for loyalty - turning down more lucrative contracts at places like Man U to play instead for the clubs they hold dear (even though they know it means they're unlikely to win many trophies).
Matt Houston, London


Will The Gooners Bite?
Sorry Arsenal fans, nothing seems to get better for you really, because it seems like everyone's overlooked the fact that Aaron Ramsey is in fact the replacement in place for Fabregas' departure, sooner or later.

Many have been slamming Wenger for the purchase of yet another central midfielder but look at the situation:

1. Ramsey is 15. in 3-4 years he'll be 18-19, the very age Fabregas broke into the first team.
2. It is a known but often overlooked fact that Fabregas has said that he will go back to Barca eventually, and within that time frame.
3. Wenger loves developing.

So off Fabregas goes after a few more trophyless seasons, Ramsey comes of age, Wenger starts his "developing" mantra, and another Arsenal cycle starts again.
Daniel, Singapore


Iraqi Justice
I have just been reading that The International Olympic Committee has just announced that athletes from Iraq will be banned from taking part at the Olympics. This is apparently because Iraqi government on suspecting its Olympic committe members of not doing their job properly rounded them up in June 2006 and they haven't been seen since.

Now there's probably a great deal of tragedy behind this story those that are still missing and I am in no way trying to belittle it - but I can't help thinking there are a few people in football during this close season I wish would just 'disappear'.

Here are some candidates:

Ronaldo
Ramon Calderon
Adebayor
Gareth Barry
Frank Lampard
Adriano Galliani
Sepp Blatter
Joey Barton
Roberto De Assis (Ronaldinho's agent)

Anyone else you'd like to see get some Iraqi justice?
Josh, Brighton


Bell-Ends
As a Liverpool fan, can I ask a favour. Please don't print any more mails from other Liverpool fans; it's embarrassing. You just pick the worst bellends imaginable to make us look ridiculous.
Garry, LFC


Flabbergasted
I read in the mailbox recently someone who claims to be a Spurs supporter calling Robbie Keane a money grabber/Judas or words to that effect. Now I am a supporter and I am flabbergasted at these claims. Firstly Robbie Keane has always given us his all and has never once complained that he wants to move to a bigger club or been demanded more money. He has been a great servant to us over the years. Now Liverpool come calling, a club he supported as a boy, a club capable of competing for the EPL (on paper at least, this year could be their year....Honest) as well as the Champions league. He has a genuine opportunity to better himself as a player.

I will be really sorry to see him go and would prefer it if he stayed. And as a club we will struggle to replace him, but if we kept him this may cause a detrimental effect in the dressing room and possibly even a dreaded footballer hissy fit in The Sun. The fact of the matter is, we're not likely to get into the CL this season or possibly even next. I wouldn't begrudge him his move to bigger club because we will be compensated to the tune of £18-£20m depending on which paper you read. This money will no doubt be re-invested into the team and allow Juande the opportunity to bring in a player(s) of his choice.

So without further a do....Good buy Robbie thanks for the memories and good luck in the Champions League. If the story does turn out to be all tabloid bollocks then all the better for us.
Wayne Sprigg


Sexy Time
I'm starting to get the impression this season's summer has been similar to giving up sex, what with all the pent up frustration and aggression.

In the last few mailboxes alone we've had mails on how Fergie is worse than Hitler, all footballers are scum of the earth when it comes to contract extensions, Ronaldo is the worst human being ever, loving and then hating players in the blink of an eye (Adebayor/Barry). The one that took the biscuit were the mails on how bad Scholes is for saying he won't miss the lifestyle of a footballer. By all means a fairly ambiguous comment but since when does something so innocuous generate paragraphs of utter hatred?

We need a big transfer to go through to ease the tension and to stop everyone trying to put an aggressive and negative spin on every scrap of a non-story that is thrown our way. To return to my analogy, it would be like nailing Carmen Electra after 2 years abstinence (unfortunately, this is just conjecture).

And one final point - football clubs are businesses. If they value a player at £150,000 a week it generally means that the player will be earning the club more than £150,000 a week, either through shirt sales, promotions, helping them to win stuff/get into the Champions League etc. Unless they are running like Chelsea, I can't imagine clubs offering such astronomic wages if they believe they are going to make a significant loss. And if they do - Leeds.
Pete, Poole


Glory Glory
This probably won't get published because I'm being hysterical but...

I'm sick to death of all United fans automatically being classed as a glory supporter. It' absolute idiocy and stereotypical balls. I'm 24 so that automatically makes me a glory fan right? Wrong.

My first really clear footballing memory is Italia '90. So my first full season that I remember is the 90/91 season. Arsenal and George Graham won the league, Liverpool finished runners up even City finished above us, Sheffield Wednesday beat Nottingham Forest in the FA Cup. We had Blackmore, Donaghy, Robins (who although saving Fergie's skin was poor.)

I support Man Utd because my dad does - and my son will support United also - he has no choice just like religious people he will have the good word drummed into him at a very early age.

It's the same with the all scousers are theives claim. I can tell you catergorically right now that this is not true - I know one who's an arsonist.
Mike "Bring the speechmarks back" Hermida


In Defence Of Almunia
Over the past day or so, Manuel Almunia has come in for a bit of stick on the mailbox. Although I don't think he's the greatest goalkeeper ever to pull on an Arsenal jersey, he doesn't really deserve such beef. So, I'll try to redress the balance somewhat...

1) "He must be rubbish because he doesn't play international football." Well, I have to say that's the worst argument I've ever heard. Does that make Justin Hoyte a good player because he's got some U-21 caps? For a start, he's not eligible to play for England for a few months yet (December 28th, in fact), so even if Capello wanted to pick him he couldn't. And sure, he's not in the Spain squads, but then not being one of the top three Spanish goalkeepers at the moment is hardly cause for concern, either.

2) "He was made to look rubbish by Barnet" This was a pre-season friendly, for crying out loud! His first match in months! A match where results and performances don't really matter, when it's all about fitness and getting your match legs back. If memory serves, Theo Walcott didn't have the best of games either - and the match was won by some great play from Jay Simpson, Jack Wilshere and Nacer Barazite. Yet that doesn't necessarily mean that Nacer Barazite is better than Walcott, does it? For those that didn't see it, Almunia was beaten ONCE by a good free kick. The only criticism you can make of the keeper is that he didn't really get his wall right - and these are things that can be ironed out. It's better for mistakes to happen in pre-season than in crunch games, surely?

Almunia can look shaky on occasion, I admit that. But even the great goalkeepers have their flaws. Cech was rubbish at crosses last season (notably away to Arsenal and in the League Cup and Champions League Finals), and van der Sar can't distribute for toffee.

And as seen last season, we all know that Wenger can be ruthless in dropping a keeper if he makes one mistake too many - so even if Almunia does have a few bad games, he'll get overthrown soon enough anyway.

And of course, he saved THAT penalty from Robbie Keane.
Ryan (but what do I know? I also quite rate Adebayor, Diaby and Song) Frost
PS: Oh, and Arsenal's new home kit is a disgrace. Where's the white sleeves? Makes us look like bloody Charlton / Wrexham / Walsall / Crewe / Bristol City / Forest / Barnsley / Swindon (delete as applicable).


Smoking
Just read the "State of the Footballing Nation" (part one). A couple of good ideas in there but some pretty wacky ones too. Has someone little up some marijuana and put it in the air conditioning system over there?

Pete Gill's idea of increasing the size of the goal is a flawed argument. Of course the goalies have got bigger, but so have the outfield players. The ball travels much faster than it ever did and the quality of pitches has been enhanced no end over the last 15 years and so the players can be confident of getting a better connection each time and hence be more accurate.

John Nicholson's idea of making the challenge from behind legal is crazy. He wants to go back to the days when limited centre halves can basically kick a centre forward to shit so long as he touches the ball first. What crap!!! I would much rather see a centre forward tear arse at a defence and score great goals than some lumbering centre half kick him into the stand. Someone take that bong of him would you!!!

Tim Stannard is way behind the times. Does he have a job at The FA or FIFA in his spare time? Goal line technology must be introduced. Limit it to just this as other decisions are more subjective, but if a ball has crossed the line or not is a matter of fact and can be cleared up in seconds. In any case it only happens about 4/5 times a season where we are not absolutely sure if it did or not, so what would be the problem. The technology would have already been introduced but for the fact that UEFA/Platini want their chums at Addidas to be in charge of producing the technology (allegedly for the lawyers) but this contravenes just about every European Law going as there are other companies out there who can do it much cheaper.
Tim (can't wait for part 2) Collins


Stand Up
Nick Miller needs to get his head out of his arse.

Is it any wonder that people romanticise about football in years gone by? Premier League fans cough up 50 notes to sit next to Cuthbert and Hugh cheering on your chaps all the while complaining about the lack of leg room, the excessive swearing and the lack of a decent prawn sandwich. It's almost a different sport to 20 years ago. I've followed Orient for 17 years now (I'm 25) and have seen terracing come and go and I think I speak for the majority of lower league supporters by saying all seater stadiums detract hugely from the whole match day experience. There's definitely more camaraderie, more banter, and subsequently a much better atmosphere on a terrace. Sharing a hipflask of brandy on a Tuesday night in January at Cheltenham just isn't the same if you're sitting down. The games I've seen standing on our North Terrace are far more memorable than the one's where I've been sat in a characterless lego stand, because it felt like it was more than just watching a match.

"It would be naive in the extreme not to make a link between terraces and hooliganism"

That is one of the most ignorant comments I've ever heard. If the stadium is segregated, what difference does it make if we're sitting down or standing up?! An all ticketed affair so that only a certain number of people can stand on a terrace is a perfectly safe way of watching football. Violence at football stadiums is almost extinct now, people who cause violence at football tend to do so outside the ground where there's far less chance of being caught. Has violence at the New Den, Upton Park or Elland Road decreased because of the abolition of terraces? Or because of improved technology, better trained police, and greater awareness of hooliganism?

I can honestly say that I'd pay the same price, if not more, to stand as I do to sit at Orient if given the choice. Even when terraces were still around, all grounds still had seating areas so nobody was forced onto the terraces. The fact that Nick is 'baffled' by people wanting to stand up to watch football is fairly baffling in itself.
Phil (Stand up if you love standing) South


...Contrary to Nick Millers bleak vision of what terraces would be like if they were reintroduced, I think its time clubs and the F.A considered the fan's more, by reintroducing terraces to reduce prices and encourage passion and commitment. Its been touched on occasionally in the mailbox, and now by Nick, but the time has come for a concerted effort by us to open up terracing again in stadiums. Gone are the days of barging through turnstiles, with tickets sold the day of the game. There is no reason why the current control of tickets sales and entry into grounds couldn't carry through to controlled modernised terraces. Using my club as an example, take the lower level of the Stretford End, if this was replaced with terracing, how many more die-hard fans would this open Old Trafford up to? and in turn, what a great knock on effect it would have on the atmosphere. With the increased capacity, the club could easily offer a lower price to bring back the traditional fan and still make more money then the current layout. Enforcing the current level of ticket management would ensure maximum capacity would never be exceeded. With a better layout of barriers separating the terrace into sections with dedicated entrance and exits for each one, safety could be ensured. So instead of one vast area with fans all squashed up the front or hiding at the back like in Italy, charging down the terrace when a goal is scored, fans would be spread out across the terrace in secure zones full of a controlled numer of fans allowing for a degree of breathing space, and security against a crush.

The finer details could easily be worked out, but the most important factor which would guarantee safety is the systems already in place for ticket allocations. Years ago I remember people hopping over the turnstiles, and contrary to capacity, when supporters paid in at the gate it allowed for abuse, many extra people gained access. The type of behaviour that led to over crowding has been eradicated by proper management. Applied to terracing it could inject new life and passion into football. Could you imagine the noise!, if successful maybe a large percentage of the lower tiers right around the major grounds could be converted, and all the VIPs, day trippers and families could be seated further back or in the upper tiers. A ring of passionate support circling the pitch, then we'd certainly have one heck of an atmosphere to shout about!
Austin Maguire


...I'd like to make a few points in response to Nick Miller's article 'Making a Stand Against Terrace Return', if I may:
- Hillsborough occurred because there were too many people in a confined space that was extremely difficult to exit from. The presence or otherwise of seating is incidental to this fact. There have been lethal crushes in all-seater stadiums, for example Ellis Park in South Africa, where the same conditions were present. Terraces that a. are not overcrowded and b. had adequate means of emergency exit would have a similar risk-factor with regards to crushing as seating areas.
- The demise of hooliganism was caused by a multitude of factors including a change in football culture, disasters such as Hillsborough and Heysel and a change in the demographic characteristics of the people watching it. The switch from seating to terracing was largely irrelevant or, at best, fairly minor in this process.
- There are many fans who stand for ninety minutes every week. The improved safety standards at English football cannot be attributed to the fact they have an unused seat behind them.
- If safe standing can be proven to be as safe as seating with regards to the issues of crushing and hooliganism, which I think it can be, then it should be implemented as a significant proportion of fans wish to see it implemented.
Peter


The Fanfare Of The Common Man
Couldn't agree more with Nick Miller's article about the return of terracing. Whilst interest in the Premier League is at the level it is today, demand for tickets will always remain high and thus prices would not come down. Hence we'd just see twice the amount of poor mugs paying through the teeth to watch their team, only in more uncomfortable and dangerous surroundings.

Also, even if prices were to be reduced, for every 'common man' enabled to attend the matches as a standing spectator there'll be a woman/father-and-son put off by the prohibitive levels of intimidation that comes with spending two hours wedged between thousands of fans irate at Steve Bennets latest howler. Whilst some may argue that an all male, aggressive demographic will create better atmosphere I like the fact that football has opened itself up to one and all in recent years.

Finally, for anyone moaning about the atmosphere, all-seater stadiums are not to blame, selling your soul to the highest bidder is. Anyone who went to Anfield, Fratton Park, Villa Park, St James' Park etc last season will have borne witness to an all-seater stadium truly rocking (ok, maybe not St James' but they didn't have much to get excited about) - just because Man U and Arsenal fill massive stadiums but rarely muster a whimper outside of a goal celebration doesn't mean we all need to stand up to get excited.
Matt Houston, London


God Help Us
Harry Redknapp now has nearly £12m burning a hole in his pocket. With that amount of money I wonder how many players he can talk about on Sky Sports News about signing without actually speaking to the players club!
Gavin (Who needs Ronaldinho I've heard we're after Jimmy Bullard!) MCFC