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Fact/Fiction
Fact: - 86% of facts are made up on the spot.
Fiction: - It's only Liverpool and Stoke fans who are pathetically touchy about F365 headlines.
Simon (Let's start the hilarious Stoke baiting again) Goddard, SFC
Man U Fans: The New Scousers
Fear not, United fans. 365 clearly felt so guilty about their bear-baiting Community Shield headline that they felt compelled to print 4 identical whining Manc emails offering their own rebuttal. Whine much louder and you'll qualify to support Liverpool.
And in answer to "Scott, of the Republik of Mancunia", who wonders what we're thinking "now Ronaldo is staying"... well, all we're delighted that he prefers the slavery of Manchester to the freedom of Madrid. We just wonder if your delicate Surrey-based sensibilities will be able to stand the strain of going through the same palaver next summer. Chin up.
Rob Hobson
...And they say us Liverpool fans have a persecution complex.
Michael
Not Angry, Just Disappointed
I must say, I was quite disappointed by your reaction to the criticism levelled at you by Manchester United supporters in this morning's mailbox. I'm usually impressed with the dignity and even wit you display when accusations of lazy journalism or bias are directed at you but today you displayed petulance and frankly, a lack of intelligence.
Every one of the emails on the Tevez headline pointed out that you failed to mention Hreidarsson's blatant foul on Tevez. In doing this, they were pointing out the bias of the headline and thus being critical of the perceived one sided journalism. Nobody defended the refereeing decision, or lack thereof. Nobody suggested Tevez should not have been sent off, so I'm left wondering why you grouped those letters together under the headline "Fact: This makes it ok then", when nobody suggested it did. Nobody suggested that "Retaliation is legal if it's deserved." Nobody did. People were writing to attack what they saw as one sided journalism and your reaction to the accusation was pathetic. Really poor show folks.
Eamonn in Dublin
...Whoever writes your headlines/previews is clearly in a petulant mood. No-one claimed that it was "OK" for Tevez to retaliate in the manner he did; he was wrong, and I expect he regrets his actions. He's clearly a fundamentally decent chap who displays commitment during each game. What irks me is that if the roles had been reversed, all that would have been mentioned is that Portsmouth weren't awarded a penalty and that United never get penalties awarded against them, moan, moan, whinge.
Jeff Moore, I don't know where to begin with your drivel. The constant references to Man Utd as "Manure" (a "witticism" so old that any copyright on it would surely have expired) indicate that you're not going to provide the most impartial insight, but even so. It's always United that get away with it, is it? I wonder what Alan Shearer's red cards to elbows ratio was? I wonder how many times Jens Lehmann shoved opponents over and you just thought "oh, that cheeky scamp Jens is at it again! He's crazy, he is!". Vieira, as I recall, dodged red card-shaped bullets on numerous occasions over the years. He could have been sent off before even leaving the tunnel in that famous 4-2 win for United at Highbury in 2005, to pick on one solitary example.
Sorry to come across like a bit of a cantankerous git, but I loathe that sort of blinkered, selective memory being paraded as conclusive proof of some sort of insane, pro-Man Utd conspiracy within the FA and its officials.
Griff
Gather Round The Fire Kids, There's A Story To Tell...
Primarily to rile hateful Mancs, I suggest we all share stories of the times when our teams were well and truly f**ked by a hideous piece of refereeing bias in Fergie's favour. I'll start.
I arrived at Old Trafford fully expecting us to secure our 50th unbeaten game in imperious style. Man Yoo were s**t at this point and we were the f**king nuts. The first twinge of doubt came when I noticed Mike Riley's name on the program. Wasn't this spindly-bodied, big-nosed gargoyle the one who had awarded Man Yoo penalties on each of his last ninety-eight appearances at the Theatre of Dreams?
Still, we started the game really well and when Freddie got slipped through one-on-one we all readied ourselves for a chorus of 'One-Nil to the Arsenal'. Freddie was lethal in those days. But what's this? Rio Ferdinand charged up behind Freddie, blatantly pushed him in the back and sent him sprawling. At least Rio will be red carded. No whistle!? You're f**king kidding. Look at the home fans faces: even they don't have a clue what's going on.
It was soon after that that the charming Ruud Van Nistlerooy stomped Ashley Cole's knee with six studs long after the little mercenary had played the ball. Not even a free kick. To be fair, the linesman was all of three inches from the assault. But it was when we were in control in the second half that Riley delivered the fatal blow. Rooney dived (he admitted he wasn't fouled in his book), and Riley waited a minute before deciding to answer the Northern savages' ignorant appeals by awarding a penalty, which horse face duly converted.
The sheer snarling abusiveness of the shell-suited scalleys outside the ground seemed to me an exercise in self-delusion. By giving their uneducated hatred and jealousy free reign, they were able to pretend that it didn't matter that the game had been a sham. All that counted was: ''we done 'em suvern coonts wiv their fanceh footeh'. Good for them. It was like watching some p**sed-up northern builder plaster over the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
That's my story. I look forward to yours!
George (not bitter at all) London
It Could Be Wonderful
Excellent first letters page proper is dominated by the usual ramblings of outraged Manu fans from the Republik of Manicure!
This season promises to be a truly compelling one, there are 5 teams who have the ability to capture that title. I say five because I believe (and I whisper this for Spurs fans) that Ramos's dealings in the transfer market have been inspired, from back to front he has addressed the problems that have always dogged Spurs, bloody hell even Bent is scoring!!. With a stronger squad they could challenge for the title, but I think they will have a say in where the title will go.
Liverpool have bought well and the partnership of Keane and Torres will give all defences in the league a sore head with their movement and goals, midfield and defence have been strengthened (I say strengthend as they have kept Alonso) and there's still the possibility of Barry!!
Arsenal may not have bought any big names but some research on this Nasir guy shows he's a player in the Arsenal mould. If they can keep Van Persie and Adebayor fit they'll be there at the end of the season.
Although Manu haven't added to their squad, I think Fergie and most of the United fan base would like to see an orthodox goal scoring forward. Ronaldo's phenomenal scoring record of last year has no right to continue. With Rooney, Tevez, a strong midfield and defence they have players to go close.
Finally Chelsea, OK this is where my bias lies, I think Scolari is a manager who will inspire and give confidence. The acquisitions of Boswinga and Deco will compliment a team that drove United close last season. I hope that we don't suffer the list of injuries that saw only one player complete more than 28 league games last season. The football they will play will be a see change from Mourinho and Grant, already their friendlies have shown a marked difference to get the full backs beyond the back four with much more fluidity and invention in their play.
It all adds up to a really exciting challenge for the title, I would like to think that another team would come out of the shadows to add to the mix, the more the merrier (and healthier).
Any predictions...Yer, you'll still get plenty of biased d*ckheads writing in to make sure readers up and down the country are shouting at our computer screens.
Good luck to all this season.
Patrick Derham
Pennant In Disguise
Judging from the barrage of emails sent regarding the Tevez controversy, I believe everyone who watched the Community Shield is missing the point. Glen Johnson is really Jermaine Pennant in disguise.
If you watched closely, you would have noticed Glen Johnson always floating the ball forward. Yes floating, not crossing. And the way he floats the ball forward to Peter Crouch, is an obvious mirror image of Jermaine Pennant's "crossing". Speaking of mirror images, they both have the exact same hairstyle.
Or maybe Peter Crouch just comes with an instruction booklet. "Only effective when crosses are floated in".
Andrew (and they both play on the right), Sydney
We Hope This Was Written By A Five-Year Old
I am writing to complain about the stories you put on your website.
I use MSN homepage and always see your football stories on there, i have in the past clicked on them to read and normally they are the biggest load of rubbish i have ever read and most people who comment also think so. Football 365 COULD be a very good website but you need to stop taking about "Henry going to united" or the rubbish with Ronaldo or Lampard stories which are purely gossip that sometimes sounds like a 10 yr old has told you them.
BBC.CO.UK/SPORT there football section is great they don't have the silly gossip and they don't just print anything they hear.
I sometimes expect to see the headline "Is David Beckham going to Rushden and Diamonds in a £200 million move"
Im sorry for having a rant but it's annoying.
James Norman
Eboue: Nearly Right
Just a quick note to concur with Nic no brackets, Singapore. Eboue's antics are an embarassment to Arsenal supporters, and we are fed up apologising for him. Ironically, he ought to be as good a candidate to replace Flamini as any we can buy.
In purely footballing terms, if such a thing were possible without his cynical failings, Eboue has the attributes required to fill the vacant holding role in the centre of midfield post Flamini/Gilberto/Diarra. He makes tackles and stops others playing. He is comfortable with intricate, early touch football in congested areas. He is also mobile and quick, and he won't be bullied.
What Eboue does not do well, apart from the sporadic quality cross (strange how able yet inconsistent he is), is go forward well. His creativity is low and his shooting appallling. Yet he occupies a wide position that should yield more attacking threat. Getting him into the centre for that reason alone makes sense, so others can inflict more damage from the wing.
In practise, no doubt Eboue will be writhing around in mock agony trying to con free kicks, whilst the opposition carve through the centre of the park. Shame really. It could have worked.
Laurence Tipping
How They'll Line Up
Nic - most likely Villa line-up for the Citeh game on Sun:
Friedel
L Young
Laursen
Knight
Shorey
Gardner / Salifou / Maloney / Wonderkid right winger signed before the weekend (ie we'll be playing Gardner)
Reo-Coker
Petrov
A Young
Carew
Agbonlahor
Big Marl will be coming on during the game. Also Davies and Sidwell will come into the side later in the season to replace Knight and whoever's at right midfield.
And it's going to be 0-0.
Neil Raines
...I would have been 100% sure in the Newcastle team, in reply to Nic G.E.s mail, prior to pre-season but the performance of some have thrown a few question-mark-shaped spanners into the works.
Particularly Duff, Milner and N'zogbia have looked pretty good and not just against Hartlepool (sorry Hartlepool).
But should Keggy keep the faith with the formation that provided an upturn in fortune towards the tail end of the season I think the team will look like this. Suffice to say the defenders will probably not be considered for a fantasy team...
GK- Given
RB- Beye (if only for the excellent chants his name provides)
CB- Collocini (not signed yet but will go straight in if he does) or *shudder* Cacapa
CB- Taylor
LB- N'zogbia (not his ideal position IMHO but preferential to Enrique)
MC- Geremi
MC- Butt
MC- Guthrie
LF- Duff
CF- Owen
RF- Martins
Not sure where this puts our new Argentine, Gutierrez, and I refuse to acknowledge Barton's existence as a player at the club (or that he will behave himself for longer than five minutes) even if the alternative is Guthrie. It does seem to leave us with a very underwhelming midfield but that defence needs all the help it can get!
Of course there is a very real chance that Keggy might just put 6 up front.
Ben (enjoys the olympics- especially the gymnasts- is that wrong?) Starkie
And We Have To Put Up With Lawro
Starved of football and the motivation to leave the flat this weekend, I caught a lot of the Olympic coverage on the BBC.
The standard of commentary astounded me. The line up of commentators was excellent. All were experts in their respective fields - and all delivered insightful and entertaining perspectives with aplomb. I didn't think I'd be gripped by the team strategies involved in the women's road race, the technicalities behind turns in the swimming, the point-scoring system in the gymnastics, or the strengths and chances of the different rowing teams. But all these issues were articulated knowledgably and with style. There was a complete absence of glibness, cliché, and smugness.
So, BBC, now we know you can do it: sort out the bloody football!
Ed (fungus) Strutt
OK, These Are The Last Ones Of These
Anelka Sex - It'll all be going great for a while, but just as it's about to reach a climax, his two brothers will march into the room and whisk him off to some bint in the next room.
Gareth Barry Sex - Ooh...he's coming...not he's not...yes he is...no he's not...Oh f*ck it...get on with it already!
Van Nistelrooy Sex - He'll just wait and wait and wait in the box...and then he'll score. Ladies, expect this kind of sex to get you pregnant immediately, but don't expect to be blown away by the experience. It's so clinical you'd be just as well off getting the whole test-tube thing done.
Carlos Tevez Sex - Fit as f*ck? Check! Latin? Check! Energetic? Check!
Paper bag? Check!
Emmanuel Adebayor Sex - Give him enough chances and he'll stick it in eventually.
Stephen Gerrard Sex - Versatile. He'll fit in anywhere - unless Fat Frank is there too.
Marcus and Darren Bent Sex - No further explanation necessary.
Ger Scully AFC
...Savage-on-Barton sex: a complete and utter c**k going into an immense c*nt.
Richard Pike
