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Madrid Are United, Liverpool Are Barcelona
I see reports in the press that Real Madrid want to change the rules on players playing in the Champions League because they claim that they bought Diarra and Huntelaar without knowledge of the rule book - fat chance.
But their brass neck got me wondering - a massive club, lots of history, completely arrogant, but no class. They're a Spanish Man Utd.
So I got to wondering how many other clubs can be compared to Premier League outfits in this way.
Chelsea are a captial club, with plenty of money, but haven't achieved anything substantial for a while - Roma?
And Gooners would claim that with their brand of football they compare most favourably to Barca. Personally with their youth development and their future looking like it's going down the pan I'd rather compare them to Southampton.
Seems Barca must be more like Liverpool then - regional club from a region with a strong local identity - check - Spanish manager - check - Spanish players - check and yes - top of the league - check.
Dessie, Belfast
You Need A Mind For Mind Games
Does Man Utd have complete monopoly on hiring the dumbest football players on the planet?
Rio 'D'oh!' Ferdinand, Wayne 'Neanderthal' Rooney and now Michael 'Single-Digit IQ' Carrick.
"It's a position United would've taken at the start of the season."
Really? If you told Fergie: "Hey, you'll be behind your bitterest rivals come 2009 by seven points."
What do you think he'd say?
"I'll take that," would probably not be anywhere near the list of ear-drum popping expletives coming out from his yapper.
Word of advice, Michael: You need a mind to play mind games.
Vinnie 'V-So-Hornie' Pinnie
Tevez Or Rooney: That's The Question
Just out of curiosity? Where is all this talk about Tevez being left out of the team because of Berbatov playing every week coming from? Partly true but maybe it's because SAF is changing the style of play?? Surely now that you have Berbatov in your starting line up each week it would mean that Tevez should really be competing for a spot against Wayne Rooney? If Berbatov is playing each week I would say SAF is changing the style of play by having a target up front to hold the ball up and lay it off to Rooney, Ronaldo, Park or whoever running through.
If Tevez was up front you would surely have to play a different formation to accommodate for Tevez and Rooney playing in the same line-up as they are very similar players. Having those two up front week in week out wouldn't work as they are both hard working running players. That is why Berbatov was brought in to hold the centre to give an enforcing option up front. He may be lazy in the way he plays but he holds his position central and this is what he is suppose to do. Everyone stop having a cry about Tevez maybe leaving. Would you prefer him to go or Wayne Rooney?
Nick (on the verge of greatness) Harrison, Tasmania, Aus
A Good Question
What do you think it costs to insure a car when you tell them..
a. It is a Ferrari
b. I am a professional footballer?
Lawrence Knops, Bellingham, USA
The Very Last Ronaldo Joke
Ronaldo's crash is surely proof positive that applying make up when driving is a very dangerous indeed.
Morgan (Ronaldo for Miss World) Goford
Silly Charles
I'm sick of these soccer players mouthing off to the press, who do they think they are. N'Zogbia says "my agent is speaking to Tottenham but I want to sign for Ar5ena1." Surely that is the height of unprofessionalism. Firstly, discussing private meetings. If Spurs wanted it known they've bid for N'Zogbia or any other player for that matter, they'd say so. Secondly, openly stating you don't want to sign for the club who are actually interested in you, but their biggest rivals!
If he does sign he's hardly getting off on the right foot with the other players and fans is he. If I were 'Arry, negotiations would be over there and then. Interest: Over.
Rob (Only wanting players who actually want to play for our club) Kerr, Park Lane
A Worried Hammer Writes...
Seeing that the Premier League and FA are planning a fresh inquiry into the Tevez affair, it seems to me that it's squeaky bum time at Upton Park. Having done their best impressions of ostriches at the time and letting West Ham off fairly lightly, something pretty big must have come up for both organisations to reopen the case and leave themselves open to criticism for the way they handled it in the first place.
Like most West Ham fans I came into the transfer window worried we'd willingly let our best players walk away. I then had my hopes raised with the news that underachievers like Etherington, Bowyer, Davenport and (thank God) Boa Morte were going to be the ones out of the door. And then, in typical West Ham soap opera style, this comes along and makes the loss of Upson, Bellamy and Parker seem like a dream scenario in comparison.
I read a letter from a fellow Hammer recently complaining about the lies being told by the board going into the transfer window. This seems to be the status quo at West Ham now - with this season alone seeing laughable attempts to deny all when it came to Curbishley, the collapse of our sponsor, and the financial difficulties faced by our Chairman. The club has systematically lied in every one of these situations, and I seem to remember also seeing bold statements coming out of the press office that Tevezgate wasn't likely to leave the club on its knees. I wonder what the next few days will bring, and how much longer the club will treat us fans like gullible idiots.
I also wonder what the players think about what's going on? The phrase 'rats leaving a sinking ship' springs to mind.
Andy, Aylesbury
P.S Alex Harris' letter implores Sky and Setanta to show a potential giant kill rather than Hartlepool v West Ham or Cardiff v Arsenal - is he not aware of West Ham's unfailing ability to give the TV companies what they want in televised cup clashes?
Boyd: A Man Out Of Time
Great little feature there on Kris Boyd. Good to see a bit on Scottish football here.
I think half of his problem is that he's unsuited to the era of football he is playing in. The preference for playing with a lone striker is exteremely prevalent especially amongst the lower-half Premier League teams that he should be appealing to. He's a striker in the Ally McCoist/Gary Lineker mould, patently unsuited to playing up front on his own.
I'm disappointed he's rejected playing for Scotland. Our style of play relies on someone being able to take one of the on average two or three chances we create a game and nobody would bet on Kenny Miller or any of the other strikers available doing that.
Once upon a time, sticking the ball in the net was all that was important for a striker but now we demand so much more. Wouldn't it have been interesting if Harry Redknapp had taken a chance on Boyd for a fifth of the cost of a Defoe?
Michael Clifford
But He's Probably Rubbish
Alan Tyers wonders why no Premier League clubs take a punt on Kris Boyd because he's scored a hatful of goals in Scotland. Because the scottish league is sh*** and he's probably sh*** too.
Cian, Bray Wanderers, Dublin
Is Matt Etherington Really That Ugly?
Let me begin by saying how pleased I am that Matt Etherington has been given a lifeline by Stoke, after revelations of his gambling problems.
Everyone deserves a second chance (well, apart from Steve McLaren, but it wasn't really his fault: I'd have taken the job of managing England too if it had been offered). Way back when I played way too much Football simulation games, he was one of the players in my Peterborough team (the other was Simon Davies) who performed well enough to warrant sale for a great price and who then went on to win his country the World Cup (okay, so football games are not very accurate: who knew?)
However two points stood out like the proverbial dogs' balls.
First, the comments from the club were not the sort that engender optimism in a player. They took 'what they can get, rather than what they would like' may be an honest assessment, but perhaps a little more enthusiasm for their new signing might have been appropriate. After all, to the best of my knowledge no-one was holding a gun to their heads of the Stoke management, forcing them to sign Matt on pain of death, were they?
Second, regarding the picture of the player himself that you put up on your site as part of the story of his signing: Perhaps it was just a bad photo, but I was shocked to see that Matt is quite probably the ugliest player ever to 'grace' the Premier League. Given the competition (Peter Crouch and Tevez, I am looking at YOU), that is no mean feat.
It's funny how we assume that players whose careers we have followed but whose faces we have never seen are at least of average looks. Nor am I suggesting that players should be rated by how photogenic they are (though that is the only explanation I can find for Bentley's inclusion in any team outside division two - or perhaps Scotland). After all, if it was on looks Samantha Fox would have played a bit for England rather than merely being a bit for England players - though come to think of it she would still have made a more sane choice than some players (hi there Downing).
Please see if you can find another Etherington photo that is a little less disturbing - or at least use photoshop to make him look less like the missing link my High School biology teacher used to inform me that science would one day discover.
Anthony (hmm, way too many parentheses in this letter I think) Rimell, New Zealand
Managers And Their Pet Players
Following up the letters about managers taking players with them on their travels, the Brian Clough/John McGovern link stretched over four clubs (Hartlepool, Derby, Leeds and Forest). Cloughie's biggest successes involved John McGovern. He didn't do so well afterwards.
Derek (old enough to remember this stuff), Jakarta, Indonesia
...In response to Aaron Collin's question about the players who have played under the same manager for three different clubs, the first and only player that sprung to my mind was Emerson who played under Capello for Roma, Juventus and then Real Madrid before going to the retirement home in Milan (probably anticipating another reunion with his former manager at Milan in 2010 after the gonna-be England's World Cup disaster, yeah he is still only 32). Is he the only player who has played Champions League football for three different clubs under the same manager? Any entries for this question??
Gowtham NVV, India
She's Back: Alan Smith's Biggest Fan
I am absolutely incensed. Yes he's had his injury problems and yes the return on the £6ml investment is poor but Fat Sam used him as a round peg in a square hole just like Ferguson did and now Kinnear's squeaking just like spineless Keegan. He may not be many people's cup of tea but he can still do a good job for someone. Players do not become bad overnight and he has not had a fair crack - people wrote him off from the word go pretty much. Ferguson dropped him like a hot potato and now Newcastle are throwing him right into the melting pot on the footballing scrapheap.
The manner in whch Newcastle have conducted themselves whilst Smudger's been quietly going about the business of getting fit has been nothing short of disgraceful. Yes I know the team aren't doing great but Smudger's not been there all season - don't blame him. And if you're after making money out of him - why not let him get properly fit first, give him a chance to prove his worth and then make a decision. Why not just say you're not in our plans? No one deserves this sort of underhand dealings! Is it any wonder why so many Newcastle players are cursed, injured or plagued by a lack of confidence??????
He wouldn't go to Boro when he had the chance after he left Leeds and he wasn't tempted when he left Man U, why, now they're struggling just as much as Newcastle, would he want to push himself further down the slippery slope? He may get first-team football but it'd be like his last few months at Leeds again - doom gloom and a largely lost cause. Everton could go in for him due to Saha being injured but I'm not sure if they'd take the risk.
I'm a Leeds fan through and through but I always quite liked watching Newcastle. Now I just feel sad that they can't be more honest and professional with their players.
How to kick a man while he's down...they could write a book on it
Georgina 'Anyone else feel like Newcastle deserve to go down?!' Jane Petty, Goole, East Yorkshire
And Finally...
The bright sparks at Sky Sports News tell me that former West Ham and Liverpool hard man, dead ball maestro and tub of lard Julian Dicks is entering the management game and isn't even getting paid for it.
How can he afford this I hear you ask?
Well, it's not like he hasn't got options. I think many people would be interested to hear the views of a lad who managed to squeeze out a professional career out of kicking people while looking both tough and over-weight.
I've come up with a (master) plan that will not only give Dicksy a few bob but will also boost ITV's ailing football coverage. You take that Loose Women chat show; throw in an hour of highlights and have Big Julian as the main presenter.
I suppose they could call it something like 'Chicks with Dicks'.
Boom!
Thank you. I'll be here all week.
Gordon (probably be better than Townsend et al) Clark
