Mailbox

Liverpool And Xabi: Match Made In Heaven
You report today that Xabi Alonso is said to be unhappy at Anfield after Rafa Benitez appeared prepared to sell him in order to raise funds in his unsuccessful pursuit of Gareth Barry.

Given that this happened a year ago, if Alonso is able to maintain a sense of grievance and victimhood for such a long time, then surely Liverpool is precisely where he belongs.
Andrew, London


Xabi Is Replaceable
Just wanted to say a quick word about Xabi Alonso. I'm a huge Alonso fan, he's a majestic player and we will miss him if he goes. He's not irreplaceable though. He hardly ever scores and he actually gets caught in posession quite a lot. It reminds me a bit of Tevez. He's not worth 25mil but he was a fans' favourite and there is a certain emptiness around Man Utd now he has gone. It will be the same with Alonso if he goes to Real Madrid. It's not the football so much that well miss but the fact that he was well repected by managers, players (except the five that got sent off last season for trying to maim him) and fans from every club. In fact a man of his talents is probably underused at Liverpool where he is repressed as Gerrard does all the pressing foward.

So I think we can replace Alonso with a 10mil player that can pass and tackle and I dont think we will be any worse off but he will be sorely missed as he's basically a nice guy who seems erudite and coherent which is rare for footballers nowadays.

If Mascherano goes, we're screwed.
Michael 'Anfield Regular' Baxter


No, He's Not, Masch Is...
I have not said this for many years, but if Liverpool hold on to Xabi Alonso, I believe we will be champions in 2010. The conditions to this claim are that Liverpool add a quality striker, Chelsea's squad remains pretty much the same and that Ferguson adds just one more top player to his squad, which is one more than he has stated he will add.

Masher would be a big loss to Liverpool and I hope he stays, but Xabi Alonso will be the bigger loss. Rafa must be as frustrated as the fans. He has continually and almost completely re-built the squad he inherited in 2004 to the point that the Liverpool first eleven is at least a match for that of Arsenal, United or Chelsea.

Liverpool need to do everything possible to ensure the future of Xabi now and that could be by offering him a new long-term deal that shows he is as important as Gerrard and Torres. As I say, if I had gun to my head and had to let one go, I would sacrifice Masher, but Liverpool should do everything possible to ensure he also remains.

This time last year I predicted on this site that Ronaldo would have less of an impact last season and would fall out of favour with a lot of the United fans and I was right. I also said several months ago, when Liverpool beat United at Old Trafford, that Ferguson, probably unexpectedly to himself, had a big job on his hands this summer to re-build United's midfield and that history suggests that the midfield is the area of the field that he struggles to get right first time. I think this is proving right again. United were very lucky last season, not as lucky as Giggs in his personal achievements, but lucky all the same. I think this season they will need real creativity to supply there squad of strikers or Owen will feel like he is back at Newcastle.

Finally, put your liver on Owen playing more games this season than in any season he was at Newcastle. He will not be able to mess Ferguson around, although Ronaldo did, and it is a World Cup season. He has signed for United who are obviously a big four club and so has guaranteed his place in England's squad, if he stays fit and plays enough games. This season will leave Newcastle fans feeling very angry and his disrespect for the club and the decision that he only signed for money will be confirmed.

Sven will be talking about bringing Beckham back to play for Notts County before the start of the season to generate publicity. I don't think we can be blame him for that as it part of the job he is there to do.
Steven Charles, Liverpool


They Should Buy Eidur...
As a Liverpool fan it has been apparent that they need cover up front given matches missed by both Gerrard and Torres last season. Whilst Benitez has used Kuyt and Ngog in the striker role in the absence of Torres there doesn't seem to be anybody that is able to slot into Gerrard's role. It seems that given Gudjohnsen is on the market he would be ideal. He can score goals but his most effective position is behind an out-and-out striker. At 30 years old and just one year left on his contract he may not cost that much. The only problem, if Liverpool were to go for Gudjohnsen, is Barcelona's interest in Mascherano. This could be a stumbling block in any proposed negotiations. Similarly Huntelaar would have been ideal back-up for Torres but given the Alonso situation that rules out any move for him.

Seeing as Liverpool seem to not have the funds for David Villa, they will find it hard to strengthen this area of the squad and so may have to work within the parameters of players whose contracts may be expiring soon or are nearing the end of their career but still have something to offer as part of a squad.
John B, Dublin, LFC


The Zlatan Debate Rumbles On
Can I just ask all the English contributors to the mailbox who are slating (/zlating) Zlatan, to, y'know, watch him play a little? Watch him play in Serie. Juve, Milan, Roma, Fiorentina are not pub sides and Zlatan has scored wonderful goals against all of them over the last two-three seasons. The only reason you lot don't rate him is because he hasn't single-handedly carried mediocre Inter sides through to the CL final. Maybe he get allergic reactions to the floodlights they use in CL matches, I don't know.

Just watch him play, week in week out and you'll know what everyone is raving out.

Is he the greatest of all time or in the world right now? No. Only idiots would claim he is.
Is he worth Eto'o+Hleb+40m? Christ, no. But this this Silly Summer so chances are Barca's signing will be Abou Diaby for Iniesta+Bojan on loan+40m too.
Is he a great all-round striker, with the ability to hold up play, score great goals and run at defenders? You bet. Eto'o plays with his back to play behind him, finishing off moves. Zlatan is an old-fashioned CF who plays with his back to goal, and has to turn and bring other players into the game. I reckon Henry and Messi will score even more goals next season.

Is he the kind of player who'll produce a goal or piece of skill that fully justifies the ticket price? Yes. And in this humble mailboxer's opinion, that's the only reason I go to games. To watch players score great goals or pull off unthinkable pieces of skill. That's why I watch football. What about you?

Also, I can just say that I'm embarrassed by Arsenal fans judging mailboxers' contributions based on their names, and going on to make baseless assumptions about their education. We're better than this, guys!
Shravan (went to posh schools. Excuse me, I need to adjust the cardigan around my neck), Birmingham Gooner


Wenger Has 'Gulliver Syndrome'
That's the only explanation that fully explains what's been happening at Arsenal slowly but surely over the last few years. Arsene Wenger must have read Gulliver's Travels on a summer holiday a few years back and fallen in love with the story. Upon his return to England he hatched upon a cunning plan that would allow him to live his favourite fairy tale while working.

He cast his eye around his team and thought 'HMMmmmmm, now how can I make myself like my hero Gulliver?'. To fulfil his dream he began to reduce the squad height. He immediately set about getting rid of all his tall players...Vieira, Henry, Kanu, Sol Campbell, Pires, Adebayor, Hleb and replaced them all with Lilliputians such as Fabregas, Vela, Arshavin, Walcott, Nasri, Eduardo and Rosicky.

Now at training Wenger can walk around like a giant. He probably even takes extra big steps for effect. Don't be surprised if Bentner and Diaby are shortly replaced by Nick Nack and the little fella from Jackass.

Everybody talks about the young average age of the Arsenal team but no one mentions the average height. It' s one of the reasons we're so good with ball and explains why we're susceptible to set pieces and a long ball flicked on. Maybe we need Jimmy-Choo and Nike to team up and develop a football boot with killer heels!
Morgan Emmett


Arsenal Title Challenge Over In A Month
Look at the fixtures. Everton away, Portsmouth home, Man U away, Man City away. With a crucial Champions League qualifier double-header to play as well. W2 D2 would be an OK performance. Meanwhile Chelsea have a pretty easy start and could get five wins out of five in that time.
Jon Davies, AFC


A List Of Arsenal Injuries
Almunia, Clichy, Toure, Gallas, Silvestre, Eboue, Walcott, Nasri, Rosicky, Fabregas, Diaby, Adebayor, Eduardo, van Persie.

That's an off-the-top-of-the-head list of the Arsenal players who were out injured for a not-insignificant portion of last campaign, some of them enduring multiple spells on the sidelines. Nobody's saying that Arsenal are the only club affected by injuries, nor are they saying that injuries are the main reason the Gunners haven't won any silverware for the last several seasons; anybody saying that doesn't know what they're talking about. What we are saying is that lately Arsenal, for whatever reason, have had to deal with a worse-than-usual situation with regards to players being unavailable because of injury than most other clubs. And I think that that would be rather hard to dispute.

Now please stop talking. Thanks for your time.
Ryan, [Fair play to 'Third World Citizen,' that was pretty funny] AFC


Mail From A Very, Very Sensitive Gooner
If you don't post this it will be considered censorship.

Actually Samir Nasri could only be out a few weeks and rather than launching into another pointless comedy page full of bad jokes at Arsenal's expense you should have researched the injury.

Samir Nasri doesn't have a broken leg in the traditional sense which usually relates to a break of the tibia - the main bone in the lower leg -which is a serious injury (Eduardo), Nasri has broken the fibula, the small bone at the back of the leg which only bares 10% of the body's weight and heals significantly faster.

Many people who suffer a fractured fibula don't even require a cast and so all this 'injury blow for Arsenal' and 'Nasri breaks leg' is vastly exaggerated.

The only reason why you make these jokes about Arsenal is because of what happened to Rosicky which was an incredibly unusual condition that was hard to detect. Ten years ago Rosicky would've probably succumbed to retirement by now after numerous setbacks and breaking down after thinking he was on the road to recovery but advances in medical science have allowed the Arsenal medical team to establish the problem and fix it.

Rosicky even said he feared he would never play again so I think that the team responsible for his recovery should be celebrated rather than mocked.
Tom Creasey


Mail From A Very, Very Sensible Gooner
I was very interested to read Parmjeet Dayal's 'Superbly Efficient Rebuttal' in Wednesday's mailbox. Superbly efficient it may have been, but flawless it was not. He stated:

'Arsenal fans I know continue to wax lyrical about their brand of football and criticise other teams even though they themselves win nothing.'

The point is, our brand of football is just about the ONLY thing we can wax lyrical about these days!

Rather than being confident, bullish braggarts, most Arsenal fans of my acquaintance (including myself) are bracing for a tricky season ahead. Season after season, we play nice football, but get bullied off the park. Sometimes we start well only to fade away, other times we start terribly and pick up later on. Either way, Arsenal are consistently inconsistent, our best players are always being linked with moves away, and with Manchester City looming large we face a serious theat to our regular Champions League place.

All this being the case, is it then any surprise that we Arsenal fans are always clutching tentatively at our only two remaining straws: the Youth Policy and the Nice Football. Because, after all, that's pretty much all we have left, given Arsene's all-too-infrequent transfer activity, coupled with his reluctance to prune some of the dead wood (Diaby, Eboué).

Still, 88 other league clubs would be happy to finish in our position, so against all that we haven't got it too bad, I suppose.
Ryan Frost


An Apology For Parmjeet
You are absolutely correct in what you have written; my response to your original mail was nothing more than knee-jerk stupidity and I should be ashamed of myself for trying to inject issues of race and culture (which in the end do nothing more than highlight my ignorant xenophobia) into a discussion which should, again as you rightly point out, be dominated only by the subject of football. I have racked my brain looking for the 'perfect words' to frame this apology; obviously there are none - how can there be when I show myself to be a racist fool - but I hope that you will accept the fact that I am filled with genuine remorse and that I will try my hardest not to repeat this type of shameful behaviour in any future posts the MC is kind enough to reprint.

I also take onboard your suggestion that Arsenal fan (myself especially) learn to accept criticism with a greater degree of grace than I exhibited in my mail; without attempting to draw other Gooners into the mess I have created here, I would say that it has been a difficult time to be an Arsenal fan over the past four years and that frustration surfaces far too easily when any perceived slight hits the mailbox.

I personally take no great exception with the jibes directed at us by MUTD fans - their team is simply dominant and they have every right to trumpet their superiority at my barren team; criticism from Spurs, Hull or even, as on one wonderous occasion, Leeds fan is not as subserviently received, given that those teams have not tasted real success in decades.

However, as you wrote, I should balance my responses with a reasoned and intelligent defense of my team's abilities, rather than make some mindless attack based on the fact that someone is of a different skin colour or ethnic background than myself.

You have no good reason to accept this apology - I am sure I am not the first moron to play the race card in your experience and you are probably sick and tired of dealing with this kind of crap; regardless, I thank you for your time - I stand humbly corrected and properly chastised.
Buzzard, Gooner


On That Carsley/Gravesen Confusion
Just to back up Mot, Dublin, I'd bet (half) my house on his Real Madrid - Tommy Gravesen theory being the beans, because Lee Carsley was infinitely more useful for Everton than Gravesen ever was. Grav went walkabout regularly. He preferred shouting at the opposition, rather than tackling them. Carse didn't go all eye-bulging on Tilt every second game, he could hit a meanish pass and he also scored an iconic goal or three. Fat slaphead? Sure. Limited talent? Certainly. Totally committed, effective and professional? You got it.

Moyes has never replaced Carsley. Capn Phil isn't a destructive CM, he's a right-back with ideas outstripping his skill. I cannot be arsed OPTA-ing the stats, but I'll bet the other half of my house that Neville scores higher at RB than CM. And lower than Carsley did in CM.

All that being said, EFC desperately need a RB, even a pretend one like Neville. And a CM like Carsley. Only less ugly, please. Oh and yeah, them bets. I had my fingers crossed. No way any of you are coming mine.
Jon Marten, EFC


TV For Clever People, Please...
John Nicholson's comments about his hopes for ESPN have had me thinking for the past few days. Am I a stupid person?

Are football fans considered the lowest of the low? Has my intellect been pre-judged?

That ties in with the comments made by Matt from Baltimore a few days ago about 'character'.

I am a football fan, so therefore has my 'character' and IQ been predetermined. Am I, in the eyes of TV executives, a red-top press reading, monosyllabic grunting man that punctuates each sentence with profanities? Do I not understand a word that is over four syllables?

Do they feel that 'The Wire' is too complex for me to follow and should I be watching 'Big Brother' and 'X-Factor' instead? Is 'Frasier' too intellectual for me, and 'Little Britain' more my cup of tea?

Their answer I feel is yes. The Executives aim for the lowest intellect?

And it sadness me, as I love 'The Wire'. I hate any reality programming, I enjoy 'Frasier' and I loathe most sketch shows. So where is the program aimed for me?

I thought it would be on a Sunday morning, but as John again correctly points out, a gathering of journalists can quickly turn into a love fest, and a pushing of one's own agenda. Rob Beasley and his pro-Chelsea views being the worst of them.

The presenters are not much better. Graeme Souness is a much better co-presenter than Jamie Redknapp, but he is too forthright in his views and isn't as pretty. Redknapp is okay but I shudder at the thought of him and Lampard Jnr in the same studio, there will be more 'Tops' than a t-shirt store.

The cricket is a prime example of how to do things right, both on TV and the radio. I know that the game lends itself to be analysed better as it has natural breaks. But the commentators are of a higher standard. Shane Warne has been excellent, explaining how to set up a player to get him out. He is explaining the technical aspect of the game that usually the viewer does not know, or understand. It enhances our enjoyment.

When watching football I can see that Alonso passed the ball to Gerrard, or that Rooney crossed it in from the right-hand side. I don't need it said to me all the time. But what I want to know is why? Why was he out there? Why did he do that? What mind set was he in to get sent off? What was the manager's thinking behind the decision to play Walcott on the left of midfield today?

But no, all we the viewer get is, that was a top, top cross or he really lost it there, or that was a shocking selection. There is no real criticism, no hard questions being asked, and no real insight into the game as people are scared to do anything that might rock the boat.

The referee is often made the scapegoat as he rarely answers questions, thus making him an easy way to fill the remaining 10 minutes of the broadcast.

So please, Sky, ESPN or whoever please try and aim for the highest intellect, not placate the lowest.
Ian Hewison


'Kaka Helped Me Carry My Guitar'...
How's this for a story?!

My mate has been gigging around Europe with his band (College Fall) for the past month. He sent me this email last night:

'I'm in the centre of Dublin...just arrived...walking the streets with my luggage trying to find my mates house when all of these track suited guys start walking around me.. I'm too tired to pay attention properly so don't realise who they are at first - they all looked so young I assumed they were an under 18's squad...That was until Kaka offers to help me and carry my guitar across the road.. nuts! So he does. Soon literally hundreds of people hover around looking for autographs, next thing I know Sneijder, Ronaldo and others are hiding behind me and my luggage. I'm literally surrounded by about $500 million dollars. Laughs, high-5's, humorous requests to join the band...Surreal.'

The lucky bugger! Imagine having your guitar carried by someone worth 56m pounds! I'm slightly p*ssed he didn't ask Kaka to play for our team though as he seems like such an accommodating guy!
Tom Della Vedova, Perth WA (Ricky, playing for Morley Inter Football Club [Football West Social Comp Division 1] isn't much of step down from La Liga...honest!)


Pedants Corner
Despite your most respectable article, 'They'll be back in a month or two', I'm afraid I just can't let you get away with the rather clumsy (and downright invented, erroneously) 'Cesc Fabregas has been predatored by an osprey'. Sorry, when exactly did the verb 'to predator' enter the English language? Surely you mean 'preyed on', or perhaps even 'attacked'?
Dom, Pedantic Gooner