Arsene Wenger says celebrations can be "a little bit offensive". Why can't football be more like sumo wrestling?
It's almost certainly a spoof, but if the Etihad Stadium review is real it's the best review ever written.
It's Day Two of claims. And it seems that Lukaku was trying to 'slam dunk heads' while 'acting like a second-row rugby player'.
Can Arsenal win away? Will Coutinho and Firmino shine after their rests? Can Man City set the record? Can Lukaku do a goal?
Liverpool's transfer decisions, Manchester United's big game tactics, Chelsea and Newcastle annoying their managers...
"Jose Mourinho plays so defensive," says Dutchman sacked by Manchester United.
Marco Silva says there should have been players sent off on Sunday after Marvin Zeegelaar red.
Before milk, pizza, water and headbutts had been thrown. Now we're not saying we condone it, but...
Ander Herrera is basically Jose but more Spanish. He claims Man United were "very unlucky".
"I don’t think Mourinho will even have to be on top of his game," says former Liverpool and Man United man.
The Football Association has given Manchester United and Manchester City until Wednesday to explain.
Mediawatch looks back to August, when Man United were handed the title. Jose is 'powerless' now.
Insert something funny about Romelu Lukaku hitting the target or missing another big chance here.
Five Premier League clubs discover their Champions League last-16 fate. Oh, isn't it all exciting?
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