Manchester United v Tottenham will be on BBC One. What a bloody terrestrial delight.
'One suggestion involves printing out lyrics to Man United chants and handing them to fans.'
The loose translation from Mohamed Salah is that it was just banter. Poor Manchester United.
Mails on armchair management, England advice, Man united leaks and football happy places...
Marcos Rojo "wanted to die" when neighbour Sir Alex Ferguson brought up his post-midnight fireworks.
Man United transfer rumours followed Griezmann around like a bad smell last summer. Not this time.
Fekir to Arsenal, Pochettino to Bayern (guff) and Spurs losing Alderweireld...
What records can City break? Can United stall them? Does Salah make history? What of Lacazette?
Jose Mourinho was 'furious' after Paul Pogba interrupted his post-match interview after Liverpool win.
Once you cross Mourinho, it's usually best cutting your losses. Shaw can still win in the long run.
Alexis Sanchez is 'miserable' at Man United, where he eats alone in the canteen and is the new Di Maria.
Young is not with England to "talk about other people and whatnot". But what about Shaw v Jose, eh?
All is not lost for best buds Mark Hughes and Jose Mourinho: Also, Mails on England and Carra-gate.
In the latest turn in a remarkable career, Ravel Morrison could switch allegiances to Jamaica.
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