Mediawatch

Read My Lips
"I'm at the right club, playing with the right players and I learn things all the time" - Cristiano Ronaldo when asked about his future on May 13.

"Let's see what happens after the Champions League final" - Cristiano Ronaldo when asked about his future on May 15.


Banging On
So Alex Ferguson apparently isn't best pleased that Avram Grant is trying the old mind games ahead of the Champions League final on Wednesday.

Quite apart from the hilarity of Fergie getting uppity about such things, one part of his learned musings to the assembled hacks caught Mediawatch's eye:

"We didn't get many decisions throughout the season. We can go on and on about them" said Sir Fergie.

Quite so. You can go on and on about them. However, well done to Sir for maintaining some dignity and not listing them. That would not befit a Knight of the Realm.

Apropos of not much, here are a few random extracts from Fergie's post-match comments over the season:

"I told the referee what I thought - some referees don't like it. They don't like the truth. But I just told him how bad he was in the first-half" - After United's defeat to Bolton on November 24.

"I thought the whole game was looking like it was going to go to pieces as a football spectacle. For Manchester United it's not right. There is something wrong when Manchester United get seven bookings" - After United's draw with Tottenham on February 2.

"This game was decided when Ronaldo's penalty was refused. That gave them great confidence to hang on knowing the referee was on their side" - After United's defeat to Portsmouth in the FA Cup on March 8.

"It was absolutely diabolical. It is a major decision Granted, it hit his hand. But he has not lifted his hand above his shoulders, above his head, anything like that. It is going straight to Rio Ferdinand. The referee should have seen that rather than the linesman. If we're not going to get those decisions then we are under pressure" - After United's defeat to Chelsea on April 26.


Pouring Oil On A Fire
A quick doff of the cap goes to the BBC Radio 5Live commentator at the Leeds v Carlisle game last night.

With tensions already running high after Leeds fans set about three pubs in Carlisle with enthusiasm the last time they were in town, and the local police doing their darndest to keep things in check in the ground, the last thing they needed were another unruly drunken mob bent on destruction to roll up.

Therefore, the local cozzers would no doubt have been delighted to hear the Beeb's correspodent suggest that any Rangers fans making their way north from Manchester drop in and take advantage of the numerous empty seats at Brunton Park.

He even gave them directions to the ground.

Top work.


Like Rain On Your Wedding Day
Sticking with the wireless, 5Live have always made a big thing about being interactive. Allowing their listeners to have their say.

Of course the contributions are usually the sort of illiterate pigswill that cause any right-thinking person armed with a set of ears to rip them off in frustration, but a Scotch texter did manage to raise a smile during the debate about the bother in Manchester last evening:

'It's not Scottish fans - don't generalise. It's Rangers fans that are the trouble makers.'

Not generalising at all then.


How Did That Go Then?
From a statement issued by 'The Rangers Supporters Assembly' on May 9:

'We would ask all fans to party with pride, uphold the good name of the Club and ensure Manchester is remembered as the 'friendly final'...We have travelled in our thousands to nine different countries this season without trouble and we all want the UEFA Cup final to be our finest hour.'


Taking The Credit, But Not The Blame
"I think our fans have demonstrated this season through the journey they have been on, their behaviour has been impeccable...From a behaviour point of view we have come on leaps and bounds and it's great credit to the supporters. I cannot commend them highly enough" - Rangers chief executive Martin Bain, May 2.

"Those scenes obviously are dreadful and I've seen them myself and we have been informed ... that those scenes were caused by supporters that don't normally attach themselves to our support" - Rangers chief executive Martin Bain, May 15.


Quick Answer Of The Day
'Could Anything Have Stopped It?' pleads the question in The Daily Mirror below a number of pictures of assorted bloodied and 'emotional' Rangers fans interacting with Greater Manchester Police.

Ah, yes - as it happens we can help you with that chaps. Perhaps if 100,000 thirsty Scots had gone for the orange juice instead of pint number 12, maybe the streets of Manchester would not still smell of urine and vomit.

Perhaps.


Making History
From the BBC website:

'If Portsmouth win, they will be the first team other than Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester United or Liverpool to triumph since 1995.'

Whereas, of course, if Cardiff win...


Just A Reminder
'Steve Coppell will quit as manager of relegated Reading today after a meeting with chairman John Madejski' - EXCLUSIVE in The Daily Mirror, May 12.

We're waiting very, very patiently.


Homo-Erotic Quote Of The Day
"Once again he hugged me, but this time in an unforgettable way. This embrace not only testified him recognising me but also to the importance this man attached to those who mattered to him. Incredible - and then he said 'Thank you. I will fight for you - you won't regret it, I will stay loyal to you all my life'. And That is what he has done" - The latest extract from Didier Drogba's autobiography, describing the love that dare not speak its name between he and Jose.

Forum Thread Of The Day
What Are You Doing This Weekend Now There's No Football

With apologies to Cardiff and Pompey fans.

Headline Of The Day
'Spurs Pant For Dec' - The Sun wander into 'so-bad-it's-good' territory.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Cristiano Ronal-Go' - The Sun.

Runner-Up
'We're Off To WembLeeds' - The Daily Mirror.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A judge has described Tyrone people as "typically thick" after mistaken identity brought the wrong woman to court in Monaghan in the Republic. Sarah McGrath, 22, from Donaghmore, was wrongly summonsed to court because her details matched another woman's. Judge Sean Martin McBride told her she showed "typical thickness from Tyrone people" because she had only sterling to pay 50 euros in bail money' - The BBC Website.

Runner-Up
'A Romanian fed up with neighbours' gossip has been to a gynaecologist to prove she is still a virgin at the age of 60. Rodica Trandafir, 60, from Bacau county in eastern Romania, posted the results of her virginity test to neighbours to stop rumours in her hometown. She told local media: "I'd had enough of locals gossiping - they said men kept coming to my house at all times of the day and night." She has now visited a gynaecologist who confirmed she was a virgin and gave her a certificate to prove it - which she then posted it to all her neighbours' - Ananova.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Daniel Rogers and Gareth Hope. If you spot anything that belongs on this page then email theeditor@football365.com with 'Mediawatch' in the subject line