Since The Year Dot
"Most of the lads in this squad have won every trophy except the Premier League so that is the aim this year. If not, improve again and do it next year, but we feel a title challenge is around the corner..." - Steven Gerrard, December 26, 2005.
"I've liked the way we've done business this summer. I'm not going to start making any unnecessary predictions about what's going to happen this season and the last thing any of us need to do is build hopes up too much. But without doubt, we have the players to push United and Chelsea all the way. I think we are in a great place to challenge United and Chelsea and I hope if we get things right from the beginning we can beat them to the big prizes this year..." - Steven Gerrard, July 19, 2007.
"Obviously I have to be careful that I don't send expectations through the roof again, but...I believe in this team and this manager, and believe we can make it happen..." - Steven Gerrard, May 13, 2008.
Cech This Out
Friend of Football365 and self-appointed European Football Correspondent of The Sun Antony Kastrinakis writes in Tuesday's newspaper (sharing a joint byline with Ian McGarry - yes, it took two of them): 'Petr Cech and Avram Grant will hold crunch talks that will decide if they have futures at Chelsea. Keeper Cech has rocked the club by demanding a pay rise claiming a top club is waiting with a £32m bid.'
Well actually Antony, Cech's agent alleged the £32m bid. Mild-mannered Cech himself (who has probably never demanded anything other than a clean headguard) issued the following statement within hours:
"Contrary to numerous press stories over the last couple of days, I would like to make it very clear to Chelsea fans that I have no plans to leave the club.
"My sole focus at the moment is next week's Champions League Final and then the Euros.
"I am very happy at Chelsea. I still have two years left on my contract and I believe the club will sit down with my representatives at the appropriate time to discuss an extension of my current contract."
So, so demanding...
Talking Of McGarry...
He delivered the following 'Exclusive' to The Sun last week: 'MANCHESTER UNITED have bid £15.8million for Portugal right-back Jose Bosingwa.
'SunSport can reveal Porto received the offer yesterday but want no less than £22m.'
Spot the flaw.
Biting The Hand That W***s You
May 2008: David Sullivan wants to surrender his stake in Birmingham City after facing fans' wrath for their relegation, reports F365: "It's all f's and c's and w's, and things like that, which I don't need in my life."
That's gratitude for you.
Now one of the richest men in Britain, we seem to remember that Sullivan made his money selling pictures of f's and c's and things like that to our nation's w's.
Clarification Of The Day
As reported by The Daily Mail:
'The British Airways jet which crash-landed at Heathrow lost power because of a suspected fuel blockage, it emerged today. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been ruled out of having a role in the crash.'
The poor sod gets blamed for everything these days...
What's That Flying Towards An Airport?
Staying with non-football news and things in the sky, the BBC has revealed that secret files on UFO sightings have been made available for the first time by the Ministry of Defence.
The documents released, for example, how 'One man explained in great detail his "physical and psychic contact" with green aliens since he was a child. The writer said that one of them, called Algar, was killed in 1981 by another race of beings as he was about to make contact with the UK government.' Another records the remarkable experiences of 'a 78-year-old man who alleged that he met an alien beside Basingstoke Canal in Aldershot, Hampshire in 1983. He said he went on board the craft, giving a detailed explanation of it, before being quizzed by the aliens about his age. He was then told: "You can go. You are too old and too infirm for our purpose."'
Yet the incident that surely warrants further and prolonged investigation is the claim of how 'on 21 February 1982, a group of customers and staff at a Tunbridge Wells pub reported an unknown object with green and red flashing lights - seen heading in the direction of Gatwick airport.'
Whatever could it have been?
Piotr Fully Endorses This
The bloody Poles get everywhere. Next they'll be writing this column.
We've barely had time to mourn England's demise from Euro 2008 when news reaches us that the news this summer will be Polish. According to the Media Guardian, The Sun is contemplating filling Euro 2008's England-deprived void by publishing Polish-language editions next month to coincide with the tournament. Niech zyje rewolucja!
The Career Paths We Take
Writes Mediawatch correspondent Robert Melia:
I was watching Nuts TV last night and there was a programme called Steven Gerrard "A Year In My Life". The batteries are dead in my TV remote and I couldn't be arsed getting up to change the channel plus I thought I'd at least get a laugh out of it.
This duly arrived 10 minutes in when it showed him filming a Carlsberg advert with part time goalkeeper/part time surf troubadour Jack Johnson.
After the video shoot Stevie turned to the cameras and in that nasally abomination of an excuse of an accent opined without a hint of irony " I feel a bit silly doing adverts but, you know, these guys know exactly what they're doing and when you see the finished product it looks ace. Plus it'll be nice when I finish my kkkcareer to look bacccckkkk and say I've done a few adverts."
So there you have it.
Ryan Giggs: 10 Premiership titles.
Stevie Warren G : A few adverts.
We're Never Going To Tire Of This One
Following the confirmation of Iain Dowie's appointment as QPR manager, let's just have that Sunday People exclusive of May 4 one more time:
'WORLD Cup legend Zinedine Zidane is the sensational name in the frame to take over as boss of QPR. Rangers owner Flavio Briatore has promised a major announcement before today's final match of the season at home toWest Brom - and informed whispers insist he'll name Zidane as Loftus Road boss. The French superstar has no coaching experience but he has what Italian playboy Briatore covets most of all - 24- carat glamour.'
Question Of The Day
Does Iain Dowie believe that QPR is in the north?
Answer Of The Day
Remarked Simon Jordan last September after winning a court case in which, to quote the Daily Mail, Iain Dowie was effectively branded a liar in the High Court after being found guilty of deceiving the Crystal Palace owner:
"Iain Dowie has been found guilty of fraudulent misrepresentation. Where that leaves his standing in the game, I don't know. But the game has the ability to be able to forget very quickly, doesn't it?"
Karma Chameleon
"I think you could see from their celebrations that they were already at Wembley. I didn't think much of their celebrations to be honest," said Crystal Palace boss Neil Warnock after the first leg of the Championship play-off semi-final with Bristol City.
"There was no need to go off like they did. They are 2-1 up but I think celebrations should be kept until you are through because football has a habit of getting you back."
On behalf of all right-thinking football fans - enjoy your celebrations in Bristol today lads.
Predictable Headline Of The Day
'Eagles Sore After Extra-Time Defeat' - The Daily Mirror. Anyone else suspect they had 'Eagles soar' ready in the event of a Palace victory?
Quote Of The Day
"One young lad caught me but I think one the stewards trod on him as he fell to the floor which was nice - I heard him squeal. I was glad to see him sprawl on the floor and the guy tread on him" - Neil Warnock on the pitch invasion that followed Bristol City's play-off victory over Crystal Palace.
Runner-Up
"I've still got the white suit, I may wear it for our Christmas fancy-dress bash next year. People still remind me about the white suits all the time. It's one of those things - if we had won the game nobody would have mentioned it but we lost and it has become infamous. It was David James' fault we wore white suits, it was his idea. He's bigger than everyone so nobody questioned him and at the time he was an Armani model" - Robbie Fowler on Liverpool's fashion disaster for the 1996 FA Cup final.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A New York man who says he was denied a seat on a five-hour JetBlue flight and was instead told to "hang out" in the plane's bathroom has sued the airline for $2 million, saying he suffered "extreme humiliation."
'When Gokhan Mutlu arrived to check in for a JetBlue flight from San Diego to New York in February he was told the flight was full, according to the lawsuit filed in New York State Supreme Court.
'But Mutlu was allowed to board after a JetBlue flight attendant agreed to give up her seat and travel in an airline employee "jump seat." It was not clear in the lawsuit whether the flight attendant was working' - Reuters.
Forum Post Of The Day
From the 'Signs you're getting old' thread:
"I just rang the police to complain about a party going on over the back from our house. Little Johnnies parents must have gone on holiday. I'm 23. I'm fairly certain I shouldn't be doing stuff like this yet" - 'Sorry Ms Jackson'.
Story Of The Day
'Birmingham City midfielder Olivier Kapo has stunned one of the club's youth players by giving him a car as a thank you for polishing his boots. James McPike, an apprentice at St Andrews, had asked Kapo for his boots as a souvenir after Birmingham's final game of the season. However, the French playmaker had already taken them home and so, in an incredible act of generosity, he threw the 20-year-old his car keys instead as an end-of-season present. Keys to a £30,000 Mercedes.
'When McPike told Kapo that he could not afford the insurance on such a powerful vehicle, Kapo even said he would pay for a year's worth of cover so that the youngster could drive it' - The Daily Telegraph.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter Peter May. If you spot anything that belongs on this page then email theeditor@football365.com with 'Mediawatch' in the subject line
