Great foresight from Peter Allen on BBC Radio 5Live live last night just before 7pm. Talking about plans for the great clear-up operation, he said that those of you in Manchester on Thursday morning would hardly even know there was a game on the night before.
We've Got It Sussed
Greater Manchester Police need not worry however. They can stop scratching their heads, wondering how all this destruction and rioting happened - one inhabitant of F365 Towers has got it sussed.
He mused this morning: "It was all that daytime drinking I reckon."
Godammit if he hasn't cracked the case.
Stereotypes: Nature's Time Saver - Part One
From the build-up to the UEFA Cup final on The BBC Website:
'1630: "I just saw a Rangers fan offering someone £10 for a can of lager. The city must have run out of alcohol and it's only 4 o'clock."
Philip in Manchester via text
Damn You Matt Lawton
Frankly, Mediawatch would be delighted if good old wheelin' and dealin', honest 'Arry Redknapp would retire to his south-coast castle and never poison our television screens with his droopy mug ever again. And we will be laughing heartily should Cardiff do the improbable and win at Wembley on Saturday.
Which is why we were overcome with joy upon opening our copy of The Daily Mail this morning to real the 'EXCLUSIVE' by a certain Mr Matt Lawton:
'Harry Redknapp is seriously considering quitting football after Saturday's FA Cup Final. The 61-year-old Portsmouth manager could call it a day and hopes to go out on a high with victory over Cardiff City at Wembley. He is determined to secure what would be the first major medal of a long and eventful managerial career.'
Huzzah, hooray and whoop-whoop. We were just about to emulate those three Rangers fans seen skulking outside 365 Towers at 9am asking 'where they could get a beer at this time of the morning, fella', when we had a cursory glance through the other papers, nearly all of which carried these quotes from 'Arry:
"You're as old as you feel and Alex Ferguson (aged 66) must be feeling bloody brilliant. He's a lesson to us all.
"I want to go on as long as him and I don't see why I can't. I still love the game as much as ever. I've got a good team, good players and thoroughly enjoy working at this club.
"I can't see myself ever leaving Portsmouth, not now. It would be nice to put on a performance in the final but it's more important to win."
And just to shore up Lawton's EXCLUSIVE, here are some words from Pompey chief executive Peter Storrie:
"It's an unbelievable load of rubbish, complete make believe. I can assure the fans that Harry is going absolutely nowhere.
"It's a joke, total rubbish. You just wonder whether these people have an agenda because it's doing us no good."
(By the by, if you want to hear our version of what goes on in a newsroom, click here.)
Stereotypes: Nature's Time Saver - Part Two
From F365:
'One senior officer was hit so hard his electronic earpiece was left embedded in his head and had to be removed by doctors.
'Another policeman was bottled over the head and another lost his front teeth after being head-butted by a Rangers hooligan.'
Hark! That's The Sound Of A Screeching U-Turn
"Why don't we want the American at our club? Call me old-fashioned but we don't need his money and we don't want his sort. Americans are buying up chunks of Premiership clubs and not because of their love of football but because they see an opportunity to make money. They know absolutely sweet FA about our football and we don't want these type of people involved" - Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood, April 20, 2007.
"Contrary to what I said before, I now believe he may have a vital contribution to make to the future of this football club...When I hadn't met him, yes, I didn't think he was the right person to take control of Arsenal Football Club. Now I know him as a man who is very much steeped in sport. He is a sports man" - Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood, May 15, 2008.
Inappropriate Passage Of The Day
From The Metro:
"The atmosphere remained friendly as fans packed the city centre and the designated fan zones for people without a ticket to the match.
"But, just moments before the match began, the giant screen in the city centre broke down, leaving thousands milling around and the scene on a knife-edge."
Oops.
Jolly Old British Fair Play
"I don't think that in this instance [in the Premier League], it is easy to be a referee. The game is much quicker and much more aggressive. So I will not complain about the referees" - Avram Grant, December 18, 2007.
"I watched the game (Wigan v Manchester United), yes. From what point? The referee? He was as expected: good for one team...I told you that I believed in the tradition of the fair English game. I will not say anything against it. But what happened is what I expected. In England there are very good referees, but there are some - a few that you can influence, like you saw. I think in our game against Manchester United at Old Trafford, the referee (Mike Dean) influenced the result for sure. We know that. I think the red card for Mikel John Obi in that game should not have been a red card, I think that Paul Scholes should have had a red card on Sunday and Wigan a penalty also. But it is finished. I congratulate Manchester United" - Avram Grant, May 14, 2008.
Stereotypes: Nature's Time Saver - Part Three
From The BBC Website's UEFA Cup coverage:
"Some people are really angry. They've spent a lot of money - maybe £4,000 to £5,000 - to come down here for this."
So that's maybe £100 on the train ticket, leaving a generous £4,900 spending money. Now what could that have gone on...?
Papa Smurf Strikes Again
Once again, hats off to cuddly Uncle Ken Bates, whose tawdry quest to reclaim the 15 points Leeds agreed to have deducted at the start of the season has apparently done more damage than simply annoy the p*ss out of the rest of us.
Reports F365: 'The Hatters went into administration back in November and despite the LTFC2020 group agreeing to buy the troubled club in January, the process has been held up by Leeds' appeal over their own extra 15-point penalty.'
So well done Papa Smurf. Not only did you throw the end of the League One season up in the air, but a side with a fraction of Leeds' resources cannot plan for next season because of your ludicrous indignation.
A Hell Of An Ultimatum
'Blackburn will tell England star David Bentley to sign a new mega-bucks deal this week - or leave in one of the summer's biggest sales' - The People, May 11.
"We've offered David a new contract to reward him for the season he has just had. If he doesn't sign it then it's not a problem, we'll just stay as we are and move forward" - Mark Hughes, May 15.
Childish Giggle Of The Day
From a website not a million miles from here:
'Lee's appointment has been approved by the club's American owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett, who recognised Benitez has been without a number two since the departure of Pako Ayesteran last August.'
Perhaps that's why he always has such a pained look on his face.
Forum Thread Of The Day
My Liberty-Taking Ex-Girlfriend
We're not usually ones for mob justice here, but you have to tell this chap to grow a pair.
Headline Of The Day
'The High Of The Tigers' - The Daily Mirror.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Heaven And Hull' - The Daily Mirror.
No S**t Quote Of The Day
"(Cesc) Fabregas, (Theo) Walcott and myself will all be a year older next season" - Emmanuel Adebayor.
Non-Football Quote Of The Day
"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the commander in chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be in solidarity. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal" - George W. Bush. Yep, you may have sent their sons to a pointless death, but at least you're not looning it up on the links. Good work George.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A Georgia tavern owner has been selling T-shirts showing the cartoon monkey happily eating a banana with the words "Obama in '08" written underneath. The tavern owner, described as an "ultra-conservative," has since seen his Marietta, Ga., establishment picketed by outraged critics who say the characterization of presidental candidate Barack Obama as a monkey is racist' - Boston Herald.com
Runner-Up
'The mummified remains of a Croatian woman have been found sitting in her armchair at home in front of a black and white TV set 42 years after she was reported missing. Croatian police say Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea and sat down to watch the television which at the time was regarded as a luxury item' - Ananova. Lazy.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Steve Maybury, Dominic Hills, Steve Hodges and Andrew Jay Carswell. If you spot anything that belongs on this page then email theeditor@football365.com with 'Mediawatch' in the subject line
