Mediawatch

Moany Moany Whinge Whinge
Said Alex Ferguson after another bad refereeing decision - definitely not him fielding a reserve side against the Turkish champions - cost his team another win last night.

"That's the second European game in succession where we've been denied a stonewall penalty. But what can you do about it? There's no point moaning, you just have to get on with it."

We genuinely don't know where to start.


The Blame Game
'Foster Blamed For Euro Flop' accuses the headline from The Daily Mirror.

Quotes from Alex Ferguson, curiously not reported by The Daily Mirror: "The goal followed a deflection off Rafael and we were chasing the game. Deflections off the body have a certain speed and that can cause a problem."


Footballers: Scumbags
Kelvin MacKenzie often gives substantial parts of his column in The Sun over to 'discussion' about football, usually a whine about how badly his team (Charlton) are doing, or what an appalling state our game is in.

Given his previous forays into reporting the goings-on at certain football grounds we would perhaps pick a different subject, but he devotes about half of his contribution to the beautiful game today, including this little nugget:

'I tip my turban to cricketing spin-wizard Monty Panesar for handing over £10,000 to hard up Northants as he departed for Sussex. Wouldn't happen in football, would it?'

Indeed. Bad, naughty footballers. Never do anything for anyone, do they? Selfish boys, they only look out for themselves. Not like those fine, upstanding cricketers or rugger boys.

Well, sort of. You may recall winger Lee Cook being a hot property a few years ago, a status that earned him a £2.5million move from QPR to Fulham. This move entitled him to a £250,000 signing-on fee, which Cook donated to the then hard-up Rangers.

And this is before we mention Didier Drogba, who donated the £3million fee for an advertising campaign to building a hospital in his home city of Abidjan. Or Craig Bellamy, who has apparently not only invested £650,000 in his football foundation in Sierra Leone, but spends most of his summers over there working on the project. We could go on.

Footballers eh? Scumbags, the lot of them.


Favouritism
'Darren Ferguson favourite as Portsmouth look for new manager' - The Guardian, November 24.

'Pompey ask Grant to take up the reins' - The Guardian, November 26.


Just Because We're Paranoid
"People can construe it how they like - the fact is he (Grant) has been brought in as a director of football and that has been made abundantly clear. He will work with Paul and do exactly the same as what he did with Harry. He will be involved in the coaching. Paul selects the team but he is missing an experienced man alongside him at the moment" - Peter Storrie, October 7.


Slippin' And Slidin'
From The BBC Website:

'Moyes' side were 3-0 down after 28 minutes and a second-half comeback was not enough to stop them slipping to 14th in the table.'

Everton's position before last night's game - 14th.
Everton's position after last night's game - 14th.


No Response
Steve Bruce was asked to respond to Dave Whelan's accusation that he had made some 'dodgy' signings while at Wigan, but the big man wasn't rising to it.

"I could respond but I'm not going to because I don't want it to blow up into something it doesn't have to be," said Bruce.

Good. Wouldn't want to draw this out anymore. Probably best that you don't say any more. Be the bigger man Steve - stick to your guns and don't respond. Even if it is to say someth...what's that? He hadn't finished?

"I had a great relationship with the Wigan chairman and the one thing he was good at was always trying to protect the manager whenever possible, so I haven't taken offence at what was said.

"I think he was just trying to take the heat off his manager and I can understand that.

"I was trying to think of the couple of dodgy signings he was on about and I can only think of Hugo Rodallega and Charles N'Zogbia, who were signed at the back end of my time there, and if Wigan want to offload those two then we will be happy to take them.

"I'm not going to get embroiled in that sort of stuff, but he knows the decent job I did for him."

Oh.


Celebrity Skin
The Daily Mail often rails against the celebrity culture that is overtaking football.

Just last month Jeff Powell trotted out his standard line about David Beckham being a 'bit-part celebrity' who has no place in the England side.

So how does the paper cover the cities bidding to be part of England's 2018 World Cup push? By covering the page with a big photo of Amanda Holden, and informing us that Peter Kay and Rachel Riley are backing Manchester's bid, and Jasper Carrott is right behind Birmingham.

Thanks for that.


Doubling Up
From the match report on a website not a million miles from here:

'Substitute Hulk almost headed Porto level minutes later but Zhirkov managed to get his body between himself and the Porto man to deny the opportunity.'

Perhaps our scribe was raising an interesting philosophical question about the nature of the physical self and the emotional self.

Or perhaps he just cocked up.


Missed Opportunity Headline Of The Day
'Exodus Is On His Way' - Surely The Sun could've done better with this story about new Peterborough loan signing Exodus Geohaghon.

Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A 'jealous' woman has been questioned by police after allegedly tearing out her lover's testicles with her hands. Helen Hodge is accused of attacking Billy Duncan's genitals after a heated argument in which she accused him of cheating on her. Mr Duncan, 49, had to have emergency surgery after the alleged attack. A source told a newspaper: 'Billy was only wearing his underpants at this stage. Helen grabbed his testicles and pulled them as hard as she could. His scrotum had been ripped open and his testicles were dangling by his legs. There was blood all over the flat.' The dust-up reportedly took place after Mr Duncan celebrated Dundee football club's victory against Inverness Caledonian Thistle in the final of the Alba Challenge Cup on Sunday' - The Metro.

Non-Football Quote Of The Day
"I'll admit there was some pushing and shoving going on but I didn't touch his testicles. I've forgotten what his b******s even look like. He's not been near me for months" - Ms Hodge responds to the accusation. Touché.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Mark Pitcher, Nick Stafford and Emery Spencer. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.