Mediawatch

Evidence Of Things Not Seen
After getting us very excited about what else may have been on their pages yesterday, and disappointing those with a more lurid sensibility, The News Of The World tried to keep us happy with a big EXCLUSIVE! interview with Jose Mourinho.

'Jose Mourinho is prepared to pay the £5.5million buy-out clause in his Inter Milan contract this summer and return to the Premier League,' barked the paper.

Where to start with this one? First of all, here are the actual quotes, which apparently confirm that he will be coming back to these shores, post-haste.

"The club and I signed a very objective contract until 2012, because we want to work together. But there is a cancellation clause that Inter will pay me if they want my departure and another that I will pay Inter if I want to leave.

"It's all simple and very objective. There will never be a never-ending story with us as has happened in the past with other people. We are honest people with honest contracts and objectivity."

Juicy stuff.

And the juice drains even further from the EXCLUSIVE! when you consider those words came from an interview given in Portugal. Six weeks ago.


On A Similar Theme
And that wasn't the only story in The News Of The World that had a whiff of déjà vu about it.

Reported the paper: 'Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic have been paying secret visits to a specialist sports clinic to save their Manchester United careers.'

Hmmm. Not secret to the (admittedly presumably few) readers of The Milton Keynes Citizen, who reported the visits on January 15.

And if it was a secret, Fergie didn't do a great job of keeping it under wraps on January 8, when he said of Vidic: "We sent him to see a specialist on Wednesday and he was able to diagnose the problem."


The Seven-Year Bitch
One would imagine that seven years is plenty of time to get over even the harshest of disagreements.

However, unless Sir Alex Ferguson had a serious case of the forgetfuls on Saturday, he still harbours a grudge against one D. Beckham.

Reacting to the news that Rio Ferdinand would be the new England captain, Fergie said:

"We are pleased for him and it's great for Manchester United to have one of our players captaining our country. Over the years we've had Gary Neville, Bobby Charlton and Bryan Robson for 60-odd games or something so we're very proud of that."

While Captain Marvel did put in an impressive stint with the armband, Charlton skippered his country a whopping three times, while the Neviller - as far as we can recall - captained England for about an hour when D.Beck was indisposed.

Beckham on the other hand, captained England 58 times, 24 of which were while he was at Old Trafford.


The Public Eye
The Daily Mail reports this morning that, as part of their cost-cutting regime, West Ham have cut short their deal with former News Of The World bod Phil Hall as their PR advisor.

Quite apart from the money they'll save, it might be a smart move for West Ham's public image, given that Hall's other major client is one J.Terry.


Drought Conditions
Said Colin Murray on BBC Radio 5Live yesterday:

"Robbie Keane finally broke his duck for Celtic against Dunfermline."

Yes, Robbie 'finally' scored after one game and 23 minutes of playing time at his new club. Quite the drought.


Not Floppy
Reports The Daily Mirror: 'Joshua, the 13-year-old son of football legend Pele has started training with Santos, his father's old club in Brazil.'

Siring a child aged 56, eh? Boy, that guy really will go to any lengths to prove he doesn't have erectile problems.


If We Don't Win, It Doesn't Count
Arsene Wenger has taken a novel approach to putting a positive spin on Arsenal's lack of trophies over the past five years - claim some of them don't really count.

"We're here to win trophies. But it depends on what you call trophies. Is it the Champions League, the Premier League, the League Cup?" he said on Friday.

"If you win the League Cup, for me, you cannot say that you win trophies."

Errr, we rather think Alex Ferguson, Jose Mourinho, Brian Clough and all the other rather good managers who have won the thing would disagree, Arsene.

In any case, perhaps the last few years of getting nowhere in that competition have caused him to alter his priorities.

He said in 2006: "We want to qualify in the Carling Cup and we want to go as far as we can. It is a competition I have never won in England despite having been here for ten years."


Hint, Hint
Writes our old chum Anthony Kastrinakis in The Sun: 'Marouane Chamakh last night hinted he would choose a move to Arsenal over Liverpool.'

Errr, we know it's unusual for a tabloid to play down quotes from a player, but here's what Chamakh actually said:

"My choice is to join a Premier League club. If I had a choice, I would go to Arsenal."

Not the subtlest hint in the world.


Rumour Of The Day
'BBC Sport, after two years of agonising, have announced Guy Mowbray as their lead football commentator to succeed John Motson. Mowbray is their choice to commentate on the Carling Cup final, with the understanding that whoever calls that game will also be the No 1 at the World Cup.

'Mowbray has been in competition with Jonathan Pearce and Steve Wilson since Motson stood down after Euro 2008. Pearce, by far the best known of the trio, was always regarded as the most likely to get the nod. But it seems he has been a casualty of the pared-down Beeb not wanting a personality to follow Motty, as the low-profile Mowbray could walk down the high street without being recognised' - The Daily Mail.

Dunce Of The Day
'Here's a useful piece of advice if you're planning on hiding out after committing a crime: it's probably not a good idea to try and seek refuge in a police station. Unfortunately for a man suspected of stealing a bottle of Schnapps from a Wyoming grocery store, he clearly missed the 'planning your escape route' class in criminal school. Riverton police say the 26-year-old ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of liquor and a package of cough drops Wednesday, and then hid in a nearby building. Unhappily for him, that building happened to be the police station.

'Police say the man then ran out of the police station again - but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers. The man, who authorities say was drunk, was caught soon after. He was taken into custody on preliminary charges of resisting arrest and shoplifting' - Metro.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters KT and Roland Burton. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.