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Forza Italia
One would think that, after their 'Best footballers in the world (and Xavi)' headline of a few years ago, The Daily Mail would know not to be quite so hasty in writing the big boys of European football.
However, in their feature on AC Milan, they go for the headline: 'Remember when Italy ruled Europe? Arsenal and Chelsea should have nothing to fear now...SERIE A ON THE SLIDE.'
We'll keep that one on file, if you don't mind.
Scribe Matt Barlow might think himself stitched-up a little by whoever chose that headline, for the central point of the piece is 'Italian teams aren't as good as they used to be' which is relatively sound. However, there are a few things Mediawatch would question.
For example, Inter Milan's win in the final of the 2010 Champions League is dismissed on the basis that they were 'without an Italian on the pitch in the final against Bayern Munich until Marco Materazzi appeared in the second minute of stoppage time.'
Ah. So that's the criteria now then. Presumably, if Arsenal beat AC Milan with the one, at most two Englishmen they are likely to pick, their achievement will be similarly written off, right?
And, after several paragraphs of hand-wringing from an Italian journalist, Mark Hateley and Gianfranco Zola, Napoli knocking out Manchester City is left to the 42nd (of 45) paragraph.
And to complete the curiousness of the piece, the final eight paragraphs are spent talking up Italian sides, describing Juventus as 'dangerous', claiming they could be 'inspired by crisis', pointing out that there are 'three Italian teams in the last 16 of the Champions League - more than any other country' and writing 'Arsenal and Chelsea will be wary.'
So which is it chaps - do they have nothing to worry about, or should they be wary?
Roo-Fi-Oooooooooooooo
So, Carlos Tevez is on his way back to Manchester City. What could possibly go wrong? It seems like an appropriate time to recap the words that have been flung back and forth, like the imaginary food that became real, simply by the power of the young boys' imagination in the film 'Hook'.
"If I have my way he will be out. He's finished with me. If we want to improve as a team Carlos can't play with us. With me, he is finished" - Roberto Mancini, September 27.
"I don't think there is any way back for Carlos. One must always act in a fair way, especially if you are the captain of Manchester City, a prestigious club. Anyone can make a mistake and no error is irreparable. It would have been enough to apologise for dropping the case. So he's not wanted" - Roberto Mancini, November 18.
"Tevez behaved stupidly in the way a player shouldn't, especially a great player. I was really angry. Because I was not expecting that from him. I always had excellent relations with him" - Roberto Mancini, December 5.
"Ten days after what happened in Munich, I invited him to come to my place to talk. I told him that, if he apologized to me, to the club, to the team, he could come back into the squad. I would have forgiven him. But he replied that he didn't have to apologize to anyone" - Roberto Mancini, December 5.
"Tevez only wants Milan. We are waiting to find out what Manchester City's intentions are, but we have already told PSG what they needed to know" - Kia Joorabchian, January 23.
"Thanks PSG, but no,my destination is Milan. I only see myself in the Rossoneri colours. Now I'm waiting for Milan" - Carlos Tevez, January 24.
So, best of luck everyone involved in making this work out.
Shirty
Incidentally, it should probably be noted that Tevez was pictured rocking up to the airport in Buenos Aires wearing a t-shirt with his own face on it.
You almost have to admire that sort of arrogance.
Dumb And Dumber?
You may remember John Barnes picked up a charming nickname in his brief and rather unspectacular time as Tranmere manager. He, along with sidekick Jason McAteer, were reportedly dubbed 'Dumb and Dumber' by an unnamed Rovers player.
Barnes writes an interesting article in The Times this morning about racism, but we suspect also in his mind was an attempt to shake the old stooooopid tag.
Make what you will of the following passage:
'The idea that race is about colour is relatively modern. When Aristotle spoke about races he was differentiating between uncivilised barbarians and civilised Greeks. But it was introduced by governments, backed by the Church, to validate slavery and colonialism, to justify treating some people as less equal than others. Just as Linnaeus classified plants, so people were classified by the colour of their skin. Academics tried to prove differences in skull formation to give scientific support to the idea that black people were morally and intellectually inferior.'
You can't see us, but Mediawatch is sitting in a high-backed leather armchair, pipe in one hand, glass of brandy in the other and saying 'Quite so.'
We Are Jack's Total Lack Of Surprise
So, Portsmouth are pressing '1' on the speed dial again, and calling up their old buddies the administrators.
As the right-thinking football world buries its head in its hands, it's probably worth remembering that this, in the grand scheme of surprising things, is down there with Liverpool and Manchester United fans behaving like total d*cks to each other and Carlos Tevez
After all, Portsmouth owner Vladimir Antonov was arrested in November in a police inquiry into asset-stripping.
Convers Sports Initiatives, Antontov's company, reassured Pompey fans: 'In the light of the recent events at Snoras Bank, Convers Sports Initiatives (CSI) would like to reassure its companies, staff, and the fans of its teams and events, that it remains very much business as usual.'
Indeed.
Fair And Balanced
Steve Cotterill hasn't exactly performed miracles since his appointment at Nottingham Forest, but not to worry - it was the other guy's fault! You know, the chap with the umbrella! Curious peninsula of hair! Funny aschent!
Cotterill said on Monday: "This squad was the most unbalanced I've ever seen."
Sure, the man has a point. When he arrived at Forest, they had seven strikers, none of them much good, making the team rather top heavy.
It's probably worth noting that Cotterill's first and only permanent signing at Forest was striker (after a fashion) Marlon Harewood.
Quote Of The Day
"We just keep our head down, backside up the in air and keep going. That is what we do. The fear of losing drives us on. We have to keep that. As soon as you lose it, the hunger goes from you as a player and it the same as a manager" - Paul Lambert reveals it's keeping his arse in the air that is the key, and the secret to Norwich's success.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'It has all gone Per shaped' - The Daily Mirror.
'Red Flag' Story Of The Day
'Sir Alex Ferguson clearly hasn't forgotten his working class roots. The Manchester United manager surprised the protesting Vita Cortex workers in Cork on the 60th day of their sit-in yesterday by calling them up to show his support. Sir Alex, no stranger to protests himself, told the workers to "stick with it" and that he was "right behind them". The unexpected phone call was organised by Cork tailor Dave O'Connor, who was at Manchester United's Carrington training ground yesterday measuring Mr Ferguson for a range of suits' - The Belfast Telegraph.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'When his Volvo's heater broke, Pascal Prokop took drastic action to avoid the bitter Swiss winter and installed a wood burning stove in the front of his car. As Europe is brought to its knees by the big freeze, motorists have been advised to take extra precautions when making long journeys. Drivers and passengers are now making sure they have torches, blankets, food rations, wellies, a thermos of sweet hot tea and a map, just in case their journey is interrupted by an unexpected blizzard. But if Pascal falls prey to the current precipitation predicament, he won't be too bothered. He drives a 1990 Volvo 240 - a model that is usually seen with a couple of black labradors and muddy football boots in the back - but in Pascal's car you'll find a fully functioning wood-burning stove' - Metro.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter Richard Stocks and Gerry McGreevy. You probably know who you are. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
