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On The Slide
We promised we would keep it on file, but as it turns out we only had to wait two days to remind whoever writes the headlines at The Daily Mail.
If you missed it, the paper headlined a piece about how rubbish Italian football is these days with the following:
'Remember when Italy ruled Europe? Arsenal and Chelsea should have nothing to fear now...SERIE A ON THE SLIDE.'
It's still on file. This has potential to rank alongside 'The best players in the world (and Xavi).'
Schadenfreudistic
It's rude to be too schadenfreudistic (Is that a word? It is now), and also to point and laugh, so we'll just leave this here.
Said Arsene Wenger before Arsenal's trip to Milan, and about Tottenham's win there last year:
"I have seen [that game], yes. Milan had a lot of the ball and Tottenham caught them on the break at the end of the game. You never decide when you break, you break when you can. It was a game which was vastly dominated, especially in the second half, by Milan.
"We will not decide at the start of the game that we will sit in our half, if we have to, like Tottenham did, and then try to catch them on the break. At the start we will try to get out of our own half and try to get up there and play. Spurs won the game when they were dominated, but that is football today."
All Both Of Them!
To accompany their match report from Milan, The Times offer a little panel to add a little colour to proceedings.
'Kevin-Prince Boateng became the latest former Tottenham Hotspur player to inflict misery on Arsenal in Europe after his fine opening goal in the San Siro last night.'
And they go on to list the other former Spurs. Both of them. Nayim (in the 1995 Cup Winners' Cup final) and Gica Popescu (in the 2000 UEFA Cup final). So that's two in 17 years. The last one of which was 12 years ago.
Quite the rash.
YOU ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS
One of Mediawatch's biggest bugbears is the inability to write about a (relatively) unknown player without comparing them to a famous one. You know the form - anyone big, black and powerful is immediately the 'new Drogba' or, for the purposes of this piece, anyone from Mexico is 'the new Chicharito'.
It's a curious logic that the papers peddle - club signs player from country not renowned for succeeding in England, player succeeds, other clubs immediately try to sign a player from that country. That's certainly been true of Javier Hernandez and The Daily Mirror.
Today the paper reports: 'Sir Alex Ferguson is trying to line up a deal for the new Javier Hernandez. Manchester United are chasing Mexican youngster Alan Pulido.'
And it's a familiar theme. Observe:
Reported The Daily Mirror on July 19: 'Liverpool are offering Mexican wonderkid Marco Bueno a five-year deal in the hope he's the next Javier Hernandez.'
And from Goal.com, on June 11: 'Javier Hernandez has been the signing of the season at Old Trafford and Sir Alex Ferguson is looking to repeat the trick...Described as the 'new Chicharito', Erick Torres has impressed since stepping into the Manchester United striker's boots at Chivas at the tender age of 18.'
There are countless more, but we only have so much time. So we ask this, Johnny Reporter chaps - please describe each player as an individual, rather than an ersatz Hernandez or Drogba.
ZING!
Headline from The Guardian website: 'United to play strongest team at Ajax.'
Headline from The Guardian website, slightly below that last one: 'Evra left at home for Amsterdam trip.'
Tricky Nicky
Top scooping from our old pal Alan Nixon this morning. Nicko EXCLUSIVELY! reveals in The Daily Mirror that:
'Huddersfield want Neil Warnock to make an emotional return to the club after sacking Lee Clark yesterday.'
Neil Warnock is currently - and has been since Wednesday afternoon - bookies' favourite for the Town job, and The Times reports a virtually identical story to Nixon's. Warnock's name is also mentioned in The Daily Telegraph, The Sun, The Daily Mail and The Daily Express.
Logical Quote Of The (Other) Day
"If we'd kept a clean sheet tonight, we'd have won 1-0" - Steve Cotterill invokes the 'If my auntie had balls' argument after Nottingham Forest's 2-1 defeat to Middlesbrough.
Erm, Pardon? Quote Of The Day
"There have been developments. I am sure we are going to be able to extend his contract. He said he wants to stay but we have got to secure our top flight status. You do not see many players like him. Charles N'Zogbia is one, Messi is another" - Roberto Martinez on...Victor Moses.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A customer collapsed with a suspected heart attack while dining at the notorious Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas. The man suffered chest pains while eating a 'Triple Bypass Burger' at the restaurant, reports ABC News. Amateur video has emerged of the man being wheeled out of the Heart Attack Grill on a stretcher. Signs at the restaurant warn that eating the food, which includes Bypass burgers and Flatliner fries, may be bad for your health. But restaurant owner Dr Jon Basso said he thought it was a joke when a waitress told him a customer was sweating and shaking.
"A nurse came to me and said 'Dr Jon, we've got a patient who's in trouble'. The gentleman could barely talk. He was sweating, suffering," he told a local news station. "I actually felt horrible for the gentleman because tourists were taking photos of him as if it were some type of a stunt. But even with our morbid sense of humour we wouldn't pull a stunt like that." Dr Basso said he heard the man was recuperating. His name and the medical condition he suffered have not been released' - Orange.co.uk.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Kevin Donohoe, Tutts and Ryan Jacobson. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
