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Boom! Gary Lineker gets Piers Morgan in the nuts once again while Mediawatch gets excited about Polly...

Last Updated: 17/02/12 at 13:46

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Gary Lineker 2 Piers Morgan 0
It's been ten days since we first gave due respec' to Gary Lineker for his 'boom' in the face of Piers Morgan. You may remember this exchange...

Piers Morgan: '@GaryLineker_I currently air in 200 countries/territories - how you getting on? #SmallPondMinnow'.

Gary Lineker: '@piersmorgan I think the 2 world cups I played in probably edged that'.

Boom! Thursday night brought the second leg and there was no doubt about the winner again...

Piers Morgan: '@GaryLineker_ did you ever actually tackle anyone?'

Gary Lineker: '@piersmorgan Nope never hacked anyone'.

Boom and double blooming boom.

Morgan of course took it all in good spirits and absolutely did not resort to laughing at people mis-spelling Lineker's name as Linekar, pointing out Lineker's rather large ears or making 'amusing' jibes about crisps.

Oh. Wait a minute. That's exactly what he did. Stay classy, Piers.


Paddy Palaver
Mediawatch received three e-mails from Polly Swain this morning. Mediawatch is always very pleased indeed to receive three e-mails from a girl. Even when said three e-mails are identical and the subject is 'Manchester City On To A Sure Bet With New Partners Paddy Power'.

But on closer inspection, we have now gone off Polly, on the grounds that she is clearly not clever enough for Mediawatch. And we have awful low standards.

Polly has not once, not twice, but three times accompanied said e-mail about Paddy Power with a link. To rival betting site casino.com.

Oops.


Exclusive Club
The Sun: 'Arsene Wenger tore into his Arsenal players at a team meeting yesterday.'

The Daily Mail: 'Wenger launched a tirade at his men during a team meeting at the club's London Colney training ground ysterday.'

The Daily Mirror: 'Arsene Wenger tore into his Arsenal flops after calling a crisis meeting yesterday.'

The Daily Star: 'Arsene Wenger let rip at his team in a crisis meeting at Arsenal's training ground yesterday.'

We're sure you'll agree that congratulations are due to the Daily Mirror and Daily Star on their 'exclusives'.


It's A Shame About Roy
For some reason we had forgotten that Robbie Savage was a boyhood Liverpool fan. But once reminded - in his Daily Mirror column - it all makes sense.

And just like all his fellow Liverpool fans who write in to F365, Savage needed only four paragraphs before mentioning Roy Hodgson.

'King Kenny has not mismanaged Liverpool,' writes Savage. 'We focus too much on what goes on off the park and not enough on it and the fact is that they are better than under Roy Hodgson.'

Yes, but we're pretty sure that King Kenny's Liverpool have won just one of their last six Premier League games. And those were played on the pitch.


Along Came A Spider
The Sun's Graeme Bryce thought all his tabloid Christmases had come at once when he discovered that Valencia's matchwinner at Stoke on Thursday night had a nickname.

'Stoke's biggest night in Europe came to a sticky end - as they were downed by a superhuman goal from 'Spiderman',' he giddily wrote. 'Turkish midfielder Mehmet Topal landed the nickname as a kid because of his gangly legs.'

Anybody now thinking that Spiderman didn't have particularly gangly legs? Surely the 5'8" Tobey Maguire wouldn't have got the gig if that were the case?

So it probably makes more sense that 6' 2" Topal's Turkish nickname is Örümcek, which simply translates as 'The Spider'. But we're guessing that doesn't really lend itself to tabloid intros eh, Graeme...?


Monk
Has the Daily Mail's Chris Wheeler recently returned from an extended holiday? Has he been on sabbatical in one of those monasteries where there are no telephones or access to the information superhighway? How else can we explain this paragraph in his match report from Porto in which he raged at racist chanting...

'The Portuguese bigots demeaned their club and country with the kind of behaviour we hoped was long gone from the game.'

Somebody might want to show Chris a few of the Daily Mail's recent back pages.


Sign Of The Times
Mediawatch simply does not understand the fuss about the re-naming of stadiums but admits that photos of a man on a ladder taking down the St. James' Park sign makes for an emotive sight in the Daily Mirror.

Less emotive were the quotes from Toon Talk fanzine editor Steve Wraith, who said: "It's typical of the club to do this and so is the timing, when there's a break in games."

Yes because the honourable thing to do would be to send that poor fella up that ladder at 3pm on a match-day Saturday afternoon.


Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Police say they were forced to use an electric stun gun on a naked 6-foot-4-inch, nearly 300-pound man after he allegedly stole socks from a Walmart in Chester County. The incident unfolded Wednesday at approximately 5:30 p.m. at the Walmart in the Exton section of West Whiteland Township. Police said officers responded to the scene and located the suspect, later identified as Verdon Lamont Taylor, inside the store wearing only a pair of socks.

'According to police, Taylor refused to comply with commands from the officers, and a stun gun had to be used. While in custody, Taylor allegedly spat on the face of one of the officers. An investigation revealed that the socks Taylor had been wearing were stolen from the store, police said' - myfoxphilly.com.


Another Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A 15-year-old girl turned on the television and saw, to her shock, her parents cavorting in a programme about a swinger's club. The girl's mother was wearing stockings and suspenders and was in a cage while her father was dressed as Batman with a sex toy in his hand. The embarrassed couple in Germany tried to sue the broadcasting company RTL for massive damages, claiming emotional upset for their daughter. But the court rejected their claim and awarded them just £160 each in damages. 'I understand your feelings and I would not like to be in your shoes,' said the chairman of the 9th Regional Court in Munich' - The Daily Mail.


Headline Of The Day
'Crouch and Co brought down to size by slick Spaniards' - The Daily Express.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Potters Topaled' - The Sun. We've now been in formed this is supposed to sound like 'toppled'. It kind of does. Still s*** though.


Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Mark Fawkner, Ian Childs and Ian Bendelow. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.

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E

xcellent decision, probably one of VERY few footballers who will be remembered as leaving the club after scoring the champions league winning goal with his very last kick! Not many get that tag in football!

sri
Drogba confirms Blues departure

T

his is for the best, his hunger would be in serious question now after winning everything with us. A true Chelsea legend, up there with Osgood and Zola, come back and see us now and then Didier. And as Martin Tyler said on Saturday night....he is immortal at Chelsea. What a way to go out eh....Good luck big man wherever you land next.

Grimupnorth
Drogba confirms Blues departure

O

ne of the many delights of the final few seconds of the season was seeing little Mike Owen with his trackie off and full replica kit on, getting ready to celebrate having contributed NOTHING all season. Would have been on a par with Terry's carry-on in Munich.

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