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The Page That Should Be Here In Long Term
Is the 66-year-old Fabio Capello 'a young coach who can remain in the job long-term'? Oh and Spurs fans should be relieved...
The Page That Suggests A Brew And A Lie Down
Nando's happy, but not according to Auntie, the old tease Hazard, WE TOLD YOU SO and more...
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Party Like It's 1997
These are heady, heady times for Liverpool, with the prospect of three trips to Wembley this season if they continue to advance in the FA Cup.
Heady times could mean expensive times so over to Kevin Keegan on ESPN for some travel advice: "Liverpool fans need to start looking on British Rail for some bargains."
Proof if needed that Keegan's world has been in stasis since he left Newcastle United for the first time in 1997. Presumably he's been too distracted by the Spice Girls on his Walkman to notice British Rail's demise.
No Country For Old Men
While we're on the subject of being behind the times, Mediawatch heard the following exchange between John Motson (66) and David Pleat (67) from Stamford Bridge on Radio 5 Live on Saturday lunchtime...
Pleat: "What Villas-Boas will need to keep in mind is that he could make all his substitutions, equalise and then have to play extra-time."
Motson (after a pause): "This is the first game, David, there will be no extra-time."
Pleat: "Thank you John."
Winning!
"Arsenal should have signed Cahill, Parker or Samba - they need winners," said John Salako on Sky Sports News on Sunday.
And what have Cahill, Parker and Samba won? Yes, that's right - absolutely sod all.
Take It Like A Fan
The Sun's resident Chelsea fan (and Harry Redknapp trial star) Rob Beasley has seemingly been on a one-man mission to get Andre Villas-Boas the sack for months now with various stories emanating from Stamford Bridge of player unrest and bust-ups...
December 1: 'ANDRE VILLAS-BOAS has lost five of his last nine games - three of them at Stamford Bridge. Now disgruntled players whisper he has also lost the Chelsea dressing room. So how long before he loses his £4.5million-a-year job?'
December 8: 'SUNSPORT can today reveal the astonishing training-ground confrontation between Andre Villas-Boas and his players that left Nicolas Anelka and Alex humiliated...and dumped.
December 10: 'CHELSEA last night confirmed their players are under orders to involve Andre Villas-Boas in their goal celebrations.'
January 2: CHELSEA stars are in open mutiny over Andre Villas-Boas' management. They believe the Blues boss is tactically inept and cannot handle Premier League players.'
February 10: 'FABIO CAPELLO last night emerged as a shock contender to replace Andre Villas-Boas at Chelsea. The Italian's resignation as England manager has immediately cranked up the pressure on the beleaguered AVB.'
February 20: 'Andre Villas-Boas will at least get the chance to see Naples - but the dying could come quickly afterwards. For a Champions League capitulation against napoli will surely spell the end for Chelsea's rookie boss.'
Elsewhere in The Sun on February 20 he is openly writing: 'Chelsea should not be in a position where they are being outplayed by Championship clubs at home. Sack AVB.'
We've long been under the impression that The Sun is a comic, but exactly when did it become a fanzine?
I Turn To You
'Andre Villas-Boas will turn to Chelsea's old guard to help save his skin in Italy tomorrow,' is the news on the back page of the Daily Star with the headline 'SAVE ME. AVB begs Blues guard for help'.
Apparently, 'the beleaguered Blues boss is set to recall veteran trio John Terry, Frank Lampard and Didier Drogba for Chelsea's Champions League clash against Napoli. Villas-Boas has been trying to phase out Chelsea's senior stars this season...'
So he's about to 'recall' a player (Lampard) who has started every game for which he's been available in 2012 barring the FA Cup game with Birmingham for which he was rested, 'turn to' his captain (Terry) who has only twice been on the bench this season and 'beg' another (Drogba) who started Chelsea's last two Champions League matches.
Desperate times, desperate measures.
Lauding Colin
'Boss of the weekend' - according to Chris Kamara in The Sun - was new Leeds man Neil Warnock.
'He went into the changing room at half-time to sort out the defence in the Doncaster game - and whatever he said did the trick. It musy have been inspiring stuff,' wrote Kamara.
Yes, so 'inspiring' that Doncaster hit the crossbar in the 49th minute and went 2-0 up five minutes later.
But let's not let the facts get in the way of a good back-slapping, Kammie.
Who's Laughing Now?
Talking of Warnock, let's take a minute to remember his reaction to Leeds' relegation to League One in 2007: "As a proud Yorkshireman, I'll be among the first to offer Leeds my commiserations. Well, I will as soon as I can stop laughing."
F365's Forlorn Hope Of The Day
...that Paul Merson will reveal exactly how many noughts are on a 'gillion'.
Headline Of The Day
'Oggy Oggy Oggy' - The Sun and the Daily Mirror think alike.
Quote Of The Day
"I get many lessons from many people who have managed zero clubs, zero games, zero Champions League games" - Arsene Wenger.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A radio station was forced to issue an apology today after listeners complained of hearing 'sex noises' live on air. Jazz FM's pre-recorded Funcky Sensation show was interrupted for around five minutes on Saturday night. Stunned listeners took to Twitter to say they had heard 'sex noises' from an adult film being played. Iwan Williams tweeted: "The **** just happened on jazz fm?! Sounded like sex noises... This is turning into an awkward dinner."' - The Daily Mirror. Mediawatch would choose sex noises over jazz.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Paul Harte and Jon Holmes. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
