What on earth is Rowley going to do without his Popinjay...?
It seems Mike Ashley's sausage fingers were nothing to do with that...
If ever there was a quote to sum up Sam Allardyce, this is probably it.
He said after the draw with West Brom: "If you look at who's missed - Yossi Benayoun, Andy Carroll, Ricardo Vaz Te, Jack Collison - they're our flair players."
There you go: Andy Carroll, flair player.
Your Turn, Crossy
Mediawatch got as sick of the 'Olympians are great, footballers are ghastly' schtick in the summer as anyone, but we chuckled rather at The Daily Mirror's John Cross, who tweeted halfway through the Sports Personality of the Year show:
'Bit late now, but Frank Lampard should be among the 12 SPOTY nominations. Great personality and lifted the European Cup. #dontforgetfootball'
Assuming John doesn't think Frank should've been in the top three, who would he have omitted, out of interest? Sarah Storey, winner of four golds in London (her 11th overall)? Katherine Grainger, winner of a rowing gold after three successive silvers? Rory McIlroy, PGA Championship winner and key player in probably the most dramatic Ryder Cup ever? Ben Ainslie, who won his fourth gold in a row? Nicola Adams, the first ever woman to win an Olympic boxing gold? Chris Hoy, who bagged his fifth and sixth golds and also won the keirin at the World Championships? Ellie Simmonds, winner of two golds, a silver and a bronze? David Weir, winner of four golds in distances as varied as 800m and the marathon? Or perhaps Mo Farah, winner of two golds and who frankly would've walked it in any other year? And that's before we get to the numerous gold medal winners that didn't make the 12.
If you wanted to take one of those aside and say 'Not this year - Frank deserves a nod' then be our guest, John.
Footballers probably get enough adulation and attention the rest of the time. Let's leave this one be, eh?
A Developing Story
'EXCLUSIVE: Fergie set to beat City and Liverpool to Walcott as United lead race for Arsenal's contract rebel - Manchester United have joined the race for Arsenal rebel Theo Walcott in a move similar to Robin van Persie's controversial switch to Old Trafford in August' - The Daily Mail, December 11.
'Chelsea are ready to challenge Manchester United and Liverpool for Theo Walcott. It is looking likely that Arsenal will sell the winger in January and that would put Chelsea in a strong position' - The Daily Mail, December 13.
'Sir Alex Ferguson will not be buying Theo Walcott - or anybody else in January' - The Mail on Sunday, December 16.
Hyperbole - Part One
Comments Jamie Redknapp in The Daily Mail, about Adel Taarabt:
'My dad might go a bit over the top now and then...'
Jamie then goes on to describe Disco Adel as having 'genius feet'.
Good job you dodged the hyperbole bullet there, James.
Hyperbole - Part Two
Nice stuff from George Graham this morning, quoted in The Sun as saying:
"There is a lot of hysterical criticism about Wenger now."
It's true, there is. If Mediawatch was an Arsenal fan, we'd be pretty annoyed about the amount of hyperbole and over-the-top guff spoken about our club and manager.
Like this, for example, from last week: "Let's be honest, they are not serious challengers for the Premier League. So finishing in the top four, I think the club are quite happy with that.
"I don't think Arsenal are ever going to compete with Manchester City, Chelsea and Manchester United...They can still pick up cups and qualify for Europe. But will they win the Premier League title again? I can't see it."
Who said that? Well, we'll give you a clue - he used to be Arsenal manager, he's Scottish and we know he has contacts in Norway.
Just over the page from Graham's words we have Terry Venables, who thinks there is one thing Arsenal can do to help bring the good times back - get David Dein involved again.
He writes, about Dein's relationship with Arsene Wenger: 'Together they never put the club in any financial danger. But likewise they realised that sometimes you have to pay a bit extra if you want the best players.
'And they certainly brought in some of the best - players like Patrick Vieira, Emmanuel Petit, Marc Overmars, Thierry Henry, Davor Suker, Robert Pires, Sol Campbell, Gilberto, Gael Clichy, Kolo Toure, Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie.'
A bit extra, eh? Vieira cost £3.5million, Petit £2.5million, Suker £4.75million, Van Persie £2.5million, Campbell was free, Gilberto £4.5million and Clichy, Fabregas and Toure under £1million each as youngsters.
Since Dein left in 2007, Arsenal have spent beefy sums on Santi Cazorla, Andrey Arshavin, Samir Nasri, Lukas Podolski, Gervinho and Olivier Giroud.
Dein may have a role to play, and Arsenal fans are certainly frustrated at Arsenal's lack of spending, but let's not pretend that there was a golden age of splurging under Dein that has suddenly disappeared.
To The Nines
'Everton's Marouane Fellaini is facing a possible NINE-GAME ban after headbutting Stoke skipper Ryan Shawcross' - The Sun.
'Marouane Fellaini will escape with a three-match ban despite headbutting Stoke captain Ryan Shawcross during their running battle at the Britannia Stadium on Saturday' - The Daily Mail.
'Everton's Marouane Fellaini is sweating on a call from the FA today as he faces up to a possibly NINE-match ban' - The Daily Mirror.
Tony Pulis, around 35 minutes into Stoke v Everton, screaming at referee Mark Halsey: "MARK! YOU'RE F*CKING USELESS! USELESS!"
Tony Pulis, after the game: "I've always had a lot of respect for Mark."
Clarification Of The Day
"I'm not fat, I'm sex" - Anderson clears things up. After tweeting another picture of some cakes.
Misleading Headline Of The Day
'Cute Allardyce makes a point' - The Daily Mail.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Cahill: Yoko Oh No!' - The Daily Mirror.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A cannabis factory was discovered above a disused restaurant after a dog was electrocuted as it cocked its leg against a shutter. The Jack Russell was killed instantly by the electric current as it "marked its territory" outside the former eatery where secretly a drugs empire was being masterminded. The pet's owner, a woman in her thirties, was taken to hospital for treatment after also suffering an electric shock, but she was not badly hurt. Firefighters sent to the scene in Fairfield, Liverpool, forced their way into the premises with an angle grinder - and then discovered a massive haul of cannabis being harvested.
'Around 55 plants were recovered in an upstairs flat, potentially yielding £20,000 if the drugs had been sold on the city streets. Live wires found dangling from the flat conducted along the metal shutter with yesterday's constant rain, creating a deadly combination. A nearby shop owner, who wished not to be named, said a number of dogs had suffered electric shocks before the Jack Russell was killed' - The Daily Mirror.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotter Steve Anglesey. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.