Lawro beats the bookies (as long as you ignore what the bookies do), Tony Pulis makes history and more from the papers...
When Bale is good, it's down to the manager. Apart from when it's Villas-Boas...
A Rare Moment Of Praise
As you'll know, this column tends not to slap journalists on the back too often. They generally do enough of that sort of thing themselves, so we see it as our job to take them down a peg or two. If they read us, that is. Which they definitely, definitely do. Hi Oliver! Hi Martin! Hi Anthony!
However, allow us to divert from standard practice for a second and praise one Neil Custis of The Sun, not necessarily for what he writes in the newspaper, but his glorious work on Twitter.
For Custis is a one-man chop-bustin' machine. He seems to spend his entire time in the 140-character world poking fun at, breaking the balls of and generally having fun at the expense of his fellow journalists. It's a joy to watch.
Take this one, directed at Oliver Holt only this week: 'Alice has a copy of his book 'me me me at Medinah' available for the correct answer to this:
'At Christmas does my Alice band get covered in lights and decorations or b; stay as standard.'
Splendid. He also enjoys joshing around with The Daily Mirror's John Cross, who never fails to tweet his stories, thusly:
'Understand @johncrossmirror will reveal on twitter at 10.30 why he is not at Reading thus negating the need to find out in the morning paper.'
'@johncrossmirror glad I'm getting these tweets thought I might have to get a newspaper.'
And then there's this terrific two-parter aimed at The Daily Telegraph's Paul Hayward:
'Great stuff from @_PaulHayward this morning, interview with Bradley Wiggins..it's exclusive too which means nobody else has spoken to him.
'I'm up to word 5,434 and still gripped.'
Trust us - if you're on Twitter, follow him here - you won't regret it.
Speaking of our old friend Mr Holt, he backs N.Custis's point rather in a piece written for The Daily Mirror this morning.
Oliver picks his top ten sporting moments of the year, which include the phenomenal achievements of Oscar Pistorius, Bradley Wiggins, Mo Farah, the European Ryder Cup team, Sergio Aguero, Chelsea, Andy Murray and Martine Wright.
The words 'I', 'I'd' and 'I've' are used 15 times.
Strong work from The Sun this morning, who report Sir Alex Ferguson's trip over to the Harvard Business School as an EXCLUSIVE!
The first thing to note is that it takes some cajones to claim an EXCLUSIVE! on a lecture to some students. Especially as most of the quotes from said lecture seem to be taken from a thesis written by a professor and a former student, and The Harvard Gazette, the college's newspaper.
The second thing is that exactly the same story appears in The Daily Mirror.
So well done indeed.
Pricking Around Like A Clown
On the back page of The Daily Mail this morning is a theoretically amusing tale about Henning Berg 'storming out' of Blackburn's Christmas party after being encouraged to dance with a stocking on his head on stage.
Chris Wheeler writes: 'The humiliating incident on Monday night is bound to cast more doubt over Berg's future at Ewood Park just seven weeks after he returned as manager.'
So 'man not wanting to prick around like some sort of clown' becomes 'he might get sacked'? Quite the leap.
Still, presumably the Mail website would correct their story after Berg released the following statement:
"After the dinner I was asked to go to the stage, which I was happy to do, believing I would be asked a few questions or maybe judge a competition.
"Instead I was asked to do things which were not the right things for me to do as the manager, considering our league position and form. I did not want to do it and went back to my table.
"Later, I left the event at around 9.30pm, as planned, and drove home. The players left straight after dinner and no alcohol was consumed."
Alas not. The details given in the Mail's story remain the same (on their website, at the time of writing), with the headline slightly altered to the pithy: 'I didn't want to do it, admits Berg after storming out of Blackburn's Christmas party because he was asked to wear a stocking on his head and a Michael Jackson wig.'
Still, one man's 'man not wanting to prick around like some sort of clown, then leaving at the time he expected to' is another's 'storm out'.
Take a minute to imagine the headlines if Berg had pricked around like some kind of clown while Blackburn lie 15th in the Championship.
Bollocks To Gaza, Football's The Place That Needs Mediation
'Manchester City held late-night peace talks with Mario Balotelli on Monday evening that appear to have staved off the Premier League tribunal brought by the striker to appeal against the £340,000 fine levied by the club for ill-discipline last season' - The Guardian.
'Arsene Wenger has tied-up deals to keep Arsenal's British talent - and has held peace talks with Theo Walcott' - The Daily Mirror.
Showboat Of The Day
Look at this show-off.
Daily Mail Intro Of The Day
'Leeds and Chelsea supporters have been warned not to add another chapter to football's season of shame tonight' - The Daily Mail. Won't someone think of the children?
Quote Of The Day
"I grew up playing a hell of a lot of Football Manager on the computer" - Ajax's Christian Eriksen reveals it's not all bitches and bling in the life of a professional footballer.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'He's off to Dan-field' - The Sun on the Sturridge to Liverpool story.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A dog has been put on Father Christmas's naughty list after requiring life-saving surgery to remove around a foot of fairy lights he had eaten. Charlie, a seven-year-old crossbreed dog from Southampton, was saved by surgeons from the PDSA veterinary charity. His owner Sharon Fay, 45, said Charlie - appropriately described as the 'light of her life' - had also previously eaten her scarf.
'I hadn't even noticed that the lights had been chewed at this stage but it quickly became clear what had happened,' she said of the most recent incident. 'Back in March he ate one of my scarves and needed an operation to remove it, but I thought it was just a one-off incident as he hadn't shown any signs that he was going to be a repeat offender. I've had dogs all my life and have never known a dog act like this before.' After he was taken to the vets, X-rays showed the tangled remains of the lights in Charlie's stomach; as well as a shoelace' - The Metro.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Dr D Tickner, Tom Adams and Bibhash Dash. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.