An easy mistake to make, it's not all about Paolo and tears...
What on earth is Rowley going to do without his Popinjay...?
What Are The Odds?
'Footie fans were stunned yesterday after the Champions League draw came up exactly the same as the rehearsal 24 hours earlier. Every fixture was a match-up - defying odds of 5,000 to one' - The Sun.
'The draw produced exactly the same fixtures as the dress rehearsal on Wednesday. Football statisticians Opta found the odds of this happening were just over two million to one' - The Daily Mail.
"I believe the odds of drawing the same 8 ties twice is 2027025-1," wrote Londonder Daniel Pennington, who describes himself on Twitter as a 'long suffering Barnet fan'. "Uefa if this is an honest coincidence I'd buy a lotto ticket" - The Times.
'Journalists, fans and Uefa officials alike were left stunned after the Champions League last-16 draw threw together EXACTLY the same ties in both the rehearsal and the real thing - the odds for which are 5000/1' - The Metro.
'The Champions League draw threw up a 1,000-1 shot yesterday when the 'live' draw picked out exactly the same eight matches that had been drawn in the 'dress rehearsal' - The Daily Express.
Footballers, as they are wont to do, sometimes offer their opinion on things like music and so forth.
And Derby youngster Will Hughes did exactly this on Thursday evening, tweeting:
'Not having all this hype about Jake Bugg #average #dobetter.'
Young Master Bugg then responded simply: 'You play for Derby.'
Pithy, correct and magnificent.
Happy Christmas Lawro
Since this is the last Mediawatch before the mid-point of the season, it seems a decent time to take a look at how Mark Lawrenson's predictions for The BBC Website are coming along.
If Lawro's foretellings came to pass, then Norwich would be in the bottom three, rather than their actual position of eighth. West Brom are 13th in Lawroworld, while back in reality they sit in seventh. Liverpool are of course five places better off in the world according to Mark, while all Arsenal's troubles are soothed by their position of second on the Lawrotable.
However, QPR are the biggest winners, sitting a very comfortable eighth place with 27 points in the Lawrostandings, as opposed to their actual position of 19th with ten.
Happy Christmas Lawro. Don't ever change.
Some Of My Best Haircuts Are Gay
If you Chelsea or Liverpool fans had been wondering what peripatetic midfielder Raul Meireles was up to these days, then you're in luck!
For the Fenerbache has managed to bag something that's rarer than hens' teeth for footballers - Christmas off! Bingo bongo! Deck the halls! Joy to the world! Let's all go round Raul's house for eggnog!
The down side is that his time off is through a ban for spitting at a referee and allegedly making a homophobic remark. The Turkish FA have suspended him for 11 games, which is hardly ideal, we think you'll agree.
Presumably Raul defended himself though? Why, yes he did, by offering a twist on an old favourite.
He said: "I'm really annoyed at being accused of spitting at the referee. I have an eight-year-old kid, can you imagine if kids at school start saying your father spat at a ref? This could ruin my reputation in the eyes of my child.
"I have many gay friends who I deeply respect. The hand gesture I made is directed at the referee caving in to the pressure of the home fans.
"That hand gesture was to tell him he was scared. Look at my hairstyle, what I wear, I'm not a prejudice person, my hand gesture was in no way, shape or form a homophobic one."
There you have it - having a stupid haircut means you can't possibly be homophobic.
'If Only The Mayans Were Right'
Writes Robbie Savage in The Daily Mirror:
'I'm making my debut on a Saturday night for Match of the Day tomorrow - and I'm as excited as I was before I made my League debut for Crewe.'
If you'll excuse us, Mediawatch has a television to put a hammer through.
Further to our item on SHOUTsport presenter and new Daily Mail columnist Adrian Durham criticising Leo Messi for staying in his comfort zone, it has been pointed out to us that Durham himself has been at SHOUTsport for well over ten years.
So Leo's not the only one that could do with testing himself elsewhere, perhaps.
Could Adrian do it on a crackly night on Magic FM, do we think?
Top work from The Daily Star, who on their back page go with:
'YOU'RE NOT THE SPECIAL RON - Ryan Giggs has started the mind games with Cristiano Ronaldo by telling him: Lionel Messi is the greatest - not you.'
Here's what Giggs said: "You have to think Messi," said Giggs when asked who the greatest ever Champions League player is.
"At the moment he is breaking all sorts of records. He is one of the greatest players to ever live and he as won it a couple of times.
"I would have to go for Messi. He is a goalscorer - he scores so many goals - but he is a team player as well."
So expressing a marginal preference, and agreeing with many people around the world, becomes 'mind games'.
Neil Custis Tweet Of The Day
'FFP was invented by Platini for men like @ianherbs who is currently writing a book called 'FFP the glory years'
Worst Headline Of The Day
'It Mata's to Juan' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A Gauteng man tried to sue FirstRand Bank after his wife allegedly fell in love with her colleague while working there, The Star reported on Friday. "There should be a motto, ex curia Johannesburgensis semper aliquid novi: out of the Johannesburg High Court there is always something new," Judge Nigel Willis said in his judgment. "I know that litigants can be imaginative here in Johannesburg, but this is one that deserves a special prize."
'Dessie Ramnath alleged in his application that the bank was responsible for the pain and suffering that resulted from the affair. According to the report, Willis said the claim was bizarre and was clearly without merit. "There is no such claim recognised in our common law," Willis said. "I am quite confident that, no matter how many judges of this division may try to develop the common law, we are not, in this country, going to start allowing awards of damages against employers because people fall in love at work. "This happens all the time. It has happened, and will no doubt continue to happen until the cows come home." The bank objected to Ramnath's claim' - News24.com.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Tutts, Wayne Peters and Andy Rayfield. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
Happy Christmas everyone - we'll be back in 2013.