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The Page That Wants No Part Of That Banter
An easy mistake to make, it's not all about Paolo and tears...
The Page That Can't Think Of A Title
What on earth is Rowley going to do without his Popinjay...?
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Harry's Game
Harry Redknapp, Daily Mail, December 22: "I don't want to spend the owners' money really. I've got to be honest with you. I don't want to see the owners have their pants taken down like they have in the past. A lot of agents have made an awful lot of money out of them. I fined a player (Jose Bosingwa) last week and he was earning more than anybody at Tottenham, so that tells you everything. We've got a stadium that holds 18,000 people and shouldn't be paying big wages. Newcastle's ground holds 55,000 and I bet you most of their players won't be earning what our players are. So that is a problem."
Daily Mail, January 15: 'Queens Park Rangers have hijacked Loic Remy's move to the Barclays Premier League and swooped to steal the France international from under Newcastle United's noses in an £8million move. It is understood Rangers offered double Newcastle's wages to put together an £80,000-a-week package for the striker who was Alan Pardew's No 1 target following the sale of Demba Ba to Chelsea.'
Good to see 'honest' Harry sticking to his guns until roughly four seconds after it became clear that QPR's owners were enthusiastically unbuckling their own pants.
Worra Joey
Mediawatch is disgusted with Joey Barton after his latest Twitter exploits.
It's one thing calling a former teammate a 'maggot', 'blert', 'dog', 'washed-up cokehead' and, classily, 'Tourette's-face' - frankly we're not surprised - but it's Barton's tweet on Tuesday morning that has us really riled.
No, not the one where he admitted that he has 'no right to question a man he hardly knows'. 'Question', Joey? We'd go for 'libel', but that's merely a side dish to the main meal...
'Its snowing in biblical portions in Marseille this morning...' tweeted Joey. Oh dear. You've let yourself down there. It's proportions, fella. Oh, and you missed the apostrophe in 'it's'.
Some people are just too stupid to be allowed on Twitter.
Didi Man
Wonderful timing from Liverpool for their Did Hamann live video chat - asking Twitter users to ask questions of the German using #askdidi.
Mediawatch stopped counting after the seventh variation of 'who's your dealer?'.
Back, Back, Back
There's very little that's duller to Mediawatch than a story about Jose Mourinho returning to manage in England. But if there's one man that loves a story about Jose Mourinho returning to England it's the Daily Mirror's Martin Lipton.
It's Lipton who was famously and fabulously carved apart by Chelsea TV presenter Gigi Salmon in 2011 for writing that Blues players pined for a Mourinho return and it's Lipton who devotes the back page and an inside spread of Tuesday's newspaper to The Special One's 427th hint at a possible comeback.
It was also Lipton who salivated in February 2012: 'He knew he wanted to return to the one country where he truly feels loved. But now we know that Jose Mourinho plans to be back in the Premier League next season - and the only issue is which club will be first to offer him the chance.'
Remind us again which club he joined that time, Martin...
Prescient Quote Of The Day
Mark Hughes on Michael Johnson in 2009: "The guy has everything in front of him."
Did he mean his stomach?
Tilt
Headline in the Daily Mail: 'HOWE'S THAT! Boss Eddie gave up a tilt at the Premier League to go back to Bournemouth and make history'.
Burnley's position when Eddie Howe resigned in October to return to Bournemouth: 16th.
A Glimpse Of Utopia
Robbie Savage on the BBC: "Vincent Kompany's red card was completely wrong. If you start sending people off for challenges like that, then the game is gone. I would never have been able to have had a career."
Headline Of The Day
'There May Be Treble Ahead' - The Daily Mirror on Manchester United's prospects.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Bottle Of Walters' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Gina the chimp has a problem. She's addicted to adult human porn. The first question you may have is how a chimp came to watch TV. That one is simple. A television set was installed in her enclosure at Seville Zoo. But maybe the zoo regrets the decision now.
'Primatologist Pablo Herreros told El Mundo: "To enliven Gina's nights, officials decided to install a Freeview television, protected behind glass, and gave her a remote control so she could change the channels herself. In the early trials, her keepers visited Gina to check that everything was in order and she did not break the new toy.
"The surprise came when they found that within a few days, Gina was not only using the remote control perfectly well, but that she also chose the porn channel for entertainment, as many of us would have done."' - news.com.au.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Tim Hawke and Max Laubin. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
