What on earth is Rowley going to do without his Popinjay...?
It seems Mike Ashley's sausage fingers were nothing to do with that...
Dive, Dived, Dove
October 18: Brendan Rodgers defends Luis Suarez after he dived against Stoke:
"It is a constant theme, and it just seems too easy to jump on his back at the moment. It just seems he's not going to be awarded a penalty, whatever happens, and certainly he feels himself he's not sure what he has to do to get one."
January 17: Rodgers criticises Suarez after he admitted to diving against Stoke:
"I think it's wrong. It's unacceptable. I've spoken to Luis and it will be dealt with internally. Diving is not something we advocate. Our ethics are correct...This is a big club and, whatever people do say goes around the world, and what was said was wrong and not acceptable. There is no-one bigger than the club or the club's image."
Another Unhappy Group Of Chaps
Incidentally, while Mr Rodgers wasn't happy with Suarez's admission, the Uruguayan FA will presumably be even more irked.
For they wrote to FIFA back in October, complaining about Jim Boyce (a vice-president of FIFA), who said Suarez was a cheat and a 'cancer' on the game.
They said: "The Football Association find unacceptable the comments made by this person.
"The Code of Ethics of Fifa clearly states: 'Officials should be aware of the importance of their role and the obligations and responsibilities that entails'.
"Deliberately ignoring his position and role, Mr Boyce has referred specifically to a football player, encouraging and provoking hostility towards them, especially if one takes into account the environment in which these expressions were made."
Mr Boyce can expect his apology shortly, no doubt.
You hear the phrases 'beyond parody', 'satire is dead' or 'the definition of irony' quite a lot in football, and even more when it comes to the actions of the governing bodies.
With that in mind, we present the following story, from Reuters, without comment:
'Ajax Amsterdam have been fined by UEFA after their supporters protested against "modern football" during their Champions League match at home to Manchester City in October.
'Fans held a lot one banner saying "against modern football" and another which depicted a sheikh holding a bag with a dollar sign, with a red line drawn across it.
'Another banner said "80 euros for the away section is ridiculous" and other supporters displayed banners with offensive messages aimed at Manchester City, Chelsea, Red Bull Salzburg and Red Bull Leipzig.
'UEFA said the Dutch club had been fined 10,000 euros ($11,000) for "display of a provocative and inappropriate banner."
He Didn't See It Coming
November 8: After guiding Southampton to just one win and four points in their opening ten games, leaving them bottom of the table, Nigel Adkins is asked about his position:
"The relationship between me and the chairman is very good, which is an important one at any football club. I would imagine there'll be loads of speculation about different things but it's strong and it's good.
"We talk regularly as we've always done and we're determined to make this a success...There's no need to speak about my position."
January 18: Southampton's form improves, picking up four wins and a further 18 points from the following 12 games.
Adkins is sacked.
Tweet Of The Day
'Very confused lol' - Luke Shaw at least finds something to roflmao at after Adkins's dismissal.
Reports The Daily Mirror:
'Giggs, who is United's only player with a 100 per cent record from the spot this season...'
Penalties taken by Ryan Giggs this season: One.
Noted African Football Expert
Comments noted by African football expert Danny Mills in The Daily Mail's preview of the Africa Cup of Nations:
'Given the weight of fixtures at the moment, Rafa Benitez at Chelsea would not have been too happy to see Mikel and Moses go off to the competition.
'There's no Essien this time but Nigeria will be very strong in this group.'
Indeed there is no Essien for Nigeria. Largely because he's from Ghana.
Misleading Headline Of The Day
'Proctor seals Red Devils switch' - F365. Crawley's nickname proves confusing again.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Giggsy: My future is on old' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A KwaZulu-Natal man arrested an allegedly drunk police officer and locked him up in the back of his police van after watching him drive recklessly through the streets of Pietermaritzburg. Russell George, of Prestbury, said he was coming down Stott Street and about to enter Mayor's Walk at about 20:00 on Sunday when he noticed a police van driving fast and recklessly. "He was driving towards oncoming traffic as he turned into Victoria Road. At this point I was concerned about the safety of other road users," self-employed George told The Witness. "He suddenly jammed on his brakes and came to a complete stop. I got out of my car and went towards him and I asked him if he knew what he was doing. He started his car and carried on driving," he said.
Continuing to drive recklessly, the policeman turned into Logan Road and came to a stop at the Howard Road intersection. George decided it would be best to call 10111. He was told the police would be there shortly. "After five minutes, no one had arrived. So I jumped out of my car and I approached the driver's side and asked him to come out. He looked at me and I could smell that he had been drinking. I asked him again, and he refused. I then grabbed his keys, pulled him out and locked him in the back of his own van," George said. He added that the police van was badly damaged, as if it had been involved in an accident' - News24.com.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Kameel Gopal, Dale Welch and Terry Hall. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.