What on earth is Rowley going to do without his Popinjay...?
It seems Mike Ashley's sausage fingers were nothing to do with that...
It's A Mystery
"I don't know why I am associated with deadline day, I didn't do that much business with Spurs."
No Harry, not much business at all. Just Robbie Keane, Niko Kranjcar, Younes Kaboul, Rafael Van der Vaart, Scott Parker, Louis Saha and Ryan Nelsen.
It's utterly baffling that people still make the connection.
Pants Down: A Return
Mediawatch will probably never tire of this quote from Harry Redknapp in December: "I don't want to spend the owners' money really. I've got to be honest with you. I don't want to see the owners have their pants taken down like they have in the past."
Harry Redknapp's QPR have agreed to pay Christopher Samba a reported £100,000 a week.
Party Like It's 2005
Some tweets from John Cross of the Daily Mirror on January 31, 2013:
'Wenger's argument is no players available who can improve the #afc squad. Stephen Warnock is available. Kills argument. Short term loan?'
'West Ham closing in on Paul Robinson from Blackburn. Good deal, still a quality keeper at 33. Moving south and fee been key factors'.
'Beckham going to Paris Saint Germain could be the biggest deal of January if it happens.'
'John Arne Riise available at Fulham. Why not take a punt Arsenal? Stephen Warnock been suggested, not happening.'
Is he desperately trying to live in a time when Arsenal were still good?
It's Not About The Money, Money, Money
Another tweet from John Cross: 'Samba's personal terms may take some negotiating. On great money at Anzhi. No player takes a drop. Set for £100k at QPR.'
No player, John?
This is John Cross, writing in August 2011: 'The Arteta deal looked dead earlier in the afternoon when the Spaniard's contract - he was on around £80,000-a-week at Everton and had four years left on his deal - appeared to bring negotiations to a halt. Arsenal did not want to give a 29-year-old with a poor injury record a four-year deal. Arteta then intervened, offering to reduce the length of his deal and his salary by around £10,000-a-week.'
So, shall we make that 'no player but Mikel Arteta'?
Roar Of The Day
Writes Antony Kastrinakis in The Sun: 'THEO WALCOTT last night hauled boss Arsene Wenger out of jail and roared: "That's why you must play me up front."
If there's one thing we associate with Theo Walcott it's a 'roar'. While others talk in a whisper or at a perfectly unspectacular pitch, the softly spoken middle-class Walcott is forever insisting on 'roaring'. Frankly, we're sick of it.
He might well 'roar' about playing up front when he's just scored from the flank again. We would. It's the perfect time to start 'roaring'.
So what did he actually 'roar'?
"I think the manager knows what's best for the team, I do as well. Arsene Wenger has shown that faith in me and given me the chance to play up front recently. In the long term I want to be a striker but it won't happen overnight."
Headline in The Sun: 'Ruthless Roy KO's the boys.'
Intro in The Sun: 'Roy Hodgson is dumping some of the kids...'
Translation: Roy Hodgson is allowed England's Under-21s to play for England Under-21s.
Here's Mark Ogden of The Daily Telegraph explaining how DDG was in a no-win situation but...
'While Jay Rodriguez's goal was another moment that De Gea will want to forget, Carrick's lofted back-pass left the goalkeeper in a no-win situation as he left his goal-line. Still, he lacked the courage to win the 50-50 with Rodriguez and the £6 million forward poked the ball around the bewildered De Gea before slotting into an empty net.'
So it was a 50-50 no-win situation? Riiiiiight.
Worst Headlines Of The Day
Honestly, just take your pick...
'You'll never Walc alone', 'Roo Beauties', 'Hip, hip hoo-Roy! - The Sun.
Non-Football Revenge Story of The Day
'Brandi Glanville made Eddie Cibrian buy her a "new" vagina. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has revealed she exacted revenge on her cheating ex-husband by charging an intimate vaginal rejuvenation procedure, worth $12 000, to his credit card following his 2009 affair with country singer LeAnn Rimes.
'The 40-year-old former model - who has two sons, Mason, nine, and five-year-old Jake, with Eddie - explained her pricey payback plot in her upcoming autobiography, Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders.
'She reveals: "I would ask Eddie from time to time if my vagina was the same after childbirth. He always said yes, except once. He was actually quite vulgar."
Following the couple's separation, Brandi discovered her spouse had blocked her credit card, so she decided to send him a message by making a large transaction on his.
'She reasoned: "I decided that since Eddie ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. A week after the vaginal rejuvenation surgery, he was on the phone screaming, 'What the fuck cost you $12 000? Did you get a nose job?' I responded simply, 'Yes. A nose job.' And I hung up."' - Channel 24.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Andy B, Wayne Peters and Havelange. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subjct field.