When Bale is good, it's down to the manager. Apart from when it's Villas-Boas...
An easy mistake to make, it's not all about Paolo and tears...
As those of you who read this column on Friday may recall, Mark Lawrenson's opponent in his Premier League predictions challenge this weekend was wrestling man Hulk Hogan.
And the results are in. With the Liverpool v West Brom game pending - going by the BBC's scoring system of one point for a correct result and three points for a perfect score - Hogan leads Lawrenson 10-6.
That's Hulk Hogan, veteran of the WWF, the WCW and the reality TV show 'Hogan Knows Best', beating professional football expert Mark Lawrenson. Convincingly, too. Hogan even had time to showboat, throwing in a flamboyant prediction that Chelsea would beat Wigan 40-1.
Speaking Of Lawro
Headline to Mark Lawrenson's column in The Daily Mirror: 'Brilliant Bale's a match for Messi and Ronaldo.'
Extract from column: 'He is not quite at their level...'
And fellow Beeb sage Alan Shearer was on top form this weekend, noting:
"Wilshere is a great player to have, he scores goals, he makes goals."
In 60 league appearances, Wilshere has scored two goals. In 16 games this season, he has provided three assists.
So...by using the plural 'goals', Al was technically correct, but...
It's understandable that Steve Clarke wants to regain something from his time at Liverpool, and we like it when people prove popular opinion wrong.
However, Mediawatch isn't sure about his reassessment of Kenny Dalglish's signings - signings that Clarke is presumably partly responsible for, given that he was assistant to Dalglish at the time.
"I am not surprised at all," he said when asked about some of Kenny's boys settling in.
"Some of the more experienced ones that Kenny signed, it can take a period of time for players to settle into a club the size of Liverpool.
"Luis Suarez has really settled in the club. But now Stewart Downing is in the team and Jordan and Jose Enrique are doing really well.
"You can see the team is now starting to gel. At this stage Liverpool are probably playing the best football in the Premier League."
That last point is debatable, while we will leave you to decide whether a side who still haven't beaten a team in the top half, have yet to win three league games in a row and who lost to Oldham a couple of weeks ago are deserving of such praise.
And is it really about Kenny's signings? Luis Suarez wasn't really a Dalglish signing, £35m Andy Carroll is of course out of the picture and Jose Enrique has played one of the last seven. Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing have both played well, but have they really contributed more to this 'form' than Suarez, Daniel Sturridge and Steven Gerrard?
The news that the Pope is to resign is a shock to most, particularly as Mediawatch believes former journalist Ian McGarry confirmed only yesterday that his holiness was going nowhere, was perfectly happy in his job and that absolutely no talks with God had taken place.
Our old friend the self-appointed European football correspondent of The Sun Antony Kastrinakis may not be allowed to speak to Mario Balotelli, but he is allowed to write guff about Real Madrid.
His column today includes some fairly standard low-level nonsense, but we did enjoy this bit:
'Strikers Gonzalo Higuain and Karim Benzema are fed up with being rotated and are struggling for form.'
This season, Benzema has six goals from ten league starts, while Higuain has eight from 12.
Zing Of The Day
"If they want to prepare at a Division Three training ground, let them get on with it" - Celtic's Kris Commons on Juventus apparently using the Rangers training ground to prepare for their Champions League clash.
Childish Giggle Of The Day
"I think when you see a big gash it disturbs you as a player" - Alan Pardew. It depends how big, Alan.
Non-Football Alanis Morissette Quote Of The Day
"Foxes look cuddly, but they're a dangerous menace" - Boris Johnson displays his lack of self-awareness with some flair.
Non-Football Headline Of The Day
'Illicit phone rings in Sri Lankan inmate's back crack' - The Register.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A man has been jailed for seven days after he reportedly tried to feed two police horses a Greggs sausage roll. Francis Kelly was convicted of breach of the peace at the Justice of the Peace Court following an incident in Govanhill, Glasgow where he tried to feed the animals 'a gammon-type roll.' The 41-year-old was repeatedly told by PC Stewart Coulter not to give the steeds food as their digestive systems might not be able to handle the meat and could die as a result. 'They're vegetarian, they don't eat meat,' the officer said he told the defendant.
'According to PC Coulter Mr Kelly then became angry and replied: 'I'll feed them what I want.' The defendant denied this account and instead accused the horses of grabbing the food from his hand as he was stood in Pollokshaws Road and Victoria Road. He also claimed it wasn't gammon in his hand but it was actually a Greggs sausage roll. Judge Eleanor Lafferty did not believe his story and found Mr Kelly guilty. She initially gave him a £200 fine but he was unable to pay so had to serve the seven day period' - Metro.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Chris Wilton, Raz Sembach and Alex Davidson. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.