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The Page That Would Really Just Like To Put Him Out Of Our Misery
When Bale is good, it's down to the manager. Apart from when it's Villas-Boas...
The Page That Wants No Part Of That Banter
An easy mistake to make, it's not all about Paolo and tears...
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Question Of The Day
Does the Daily Mirror's John Cross still think that Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy is 'worse than the Venkys'?
Matt Finish
'Blackburn were third when they sacked Steve Kean...,' tweeted Matt Lawton of the Daily Mail on Tuesday when news broke of Rovers sacking their third manager of the season.
Three things:
1) That's third in the Championship, Matt. Blackburn were 13th (a point off eighth) in the Premier League when Sam Allardyce was sacked by Blackburn in December 2010.
2) 'Sacked?' This is what Lawton wrote in September when Kean left the club: 'Steve Kean's turbulent 22 months in charge of Blackburn came to an end on Friday when he quit in protest at being told which players to pick.'
3) You might remember Lawton was given an exclusive interview with Kean in January 2012, headlined 'Unable to walk down the street for fear of attack from his own fans, Steve Kean is...under siege'. Presumably this by no means influenced his opinion of a man who won just 13 from 59 Premier League games at Blackburn.
The Sun's Favourite Word
Back-page headline in The Sun, March 19: 'SHAMBLES'.
Headline in The Sun, March 20: 'Now Roy may play Carrick in the back 4! THAT'S HOW DESPERATE WE ARE AFTER RIO SHAMBLES.'
Shaun Custis in The Sun, March 20: 'Gary Cahill is the latest to pull out of the squad to face San Marino following the shambles of Rio Ferdinand's withdrawal.'
Blah Blah Blah
Henry Winter in the Daily Telegraph on Massadio Haidara: 'Note to the Football Association: lying in a hospital bed is a young French lad, who came to this country because he lives for football, because he heard England was the land of opportunity and fair play.'
Massadio Haidara on the Newcastle official website: "It was the desire of the club to sign me up which was the most important factor."
Presumably Haidara then called Winter to add that it was actually because he'd heard England was the land of opportunity and fair play and that he'd previously been misquoted.
Spot The Odd One Out
Writes Henry Winter (after coming off the phone from Haidara): 'Tuesday was a particularly eventful day in English football, the phone-ins humming to stories ranging from Michael Owen's retirement notice (sad, inevitable, but thanks for the many memories), Michael Appleton's dismissal (bonkers Venky's, part 421) and the welcome confirmation that Phil Neville will assist the Under-21s at the Euros in June (the FA's coaching pathway is coming along nicely).'
Sometimes, just sometimes, writers should ignore the 'rule of three' when the third thing is, frankly, s***.
Come And Ngog
Jamie Carragher writes incredibly well in the Daily Mail about the retiring Michael Owen but he does have a slight problem with chronology...
'When he returned to England 12 months later, he could have come back to Anfield but Liverpool were outbid by Newcastle. That story is well known but less so is the chance that arose to come back to Liverpool in 2009,' writes Carra.
'Liverpool supporters did not take too kindly to the way he left but I'm a firm believer that time is a healer and I'm sure they would have welcomed him back after his contract at Newcastle had expired.
'I had heard he was thinking of joining Manchester United but he would have jumped at the opportunity to come back to Liverpool. He would have been happy to be a squad player and was excited at the opportunity to return home.
'The way he left Liverpool had saddened Michael and he wanted the opportunity to redeem himself. I sent Rafa Benitez a message explaining what Liverpool could get on a free transfer but Benitez instead went out and bought David Ngog.'
In fact, Benitez had gone out and bought Ngog the year before. We forgive Carragher for not having noticed his two Premier League goals in 2008/09.
Bland Of Hope And Glory
Mediawatch has long known it is at odds with the thinking of those inside the BBC about punditry but even we were astonished to read this quote in the Daily Mail from an unnamed presenter: "When Michael (Owen) first did some work for us, we wondered just what he would be like. The last thing we needed was another dreary, bland footballer telling us nothing at all. But he came in and was brilliant and surprised a lot of people. He seemed to instinctively know what to say and how to say it."
Read that again and genuinely weep.
Young Man
Old Jimmy Milner on Rio Ferdinand's absence from the England squad: "It is disappointing not to have him, but with the young players coming in like Steven Caulker and Steven Taylor and the experience of Joleon Lescott, I don't think it's too much of a problem and there's still a lot of quality in the squad."
Steven Taylor's date of birth: January 23, 1986.
James Milner's date of birth: January 4, 1986.
This Charming Man
Eurosport, February 21: 'Ex-Smiths crooner Morrissey has revealed that he has a sporting relative - Ireland international striker Robbie Keane.'
The Daily Mail website, March 19: 'Ireland captain Robbie Keane has revealed he is distantly related to former Smiths singer Morrissey.'
Can two people 'reveal' eactly the same thing?
Nostalgic Quote Of The Day
Watching outgoing Premier League chairman Dave Richards on Sky Sports News gave us no choice but to reminisce about the man who fell face-first into a fountain pool at a Qatar conference last year.
This, for your viewing pleasure, is some classic Richards: "In our country we have a culture. We call it, 'We would like to go for a pint', and that pint is a pint of beer."
We'll miss you, Dave.
The Ultimate Insult
From the Northern Echo: 'A fight broke out after a man was told he looked like former Newcastle United footballer Joey Barton, a court heard. Shaun Beckwith, 21, and Maxwell McStravick, 40, both admitted using threatening behaviour after the pair came to blows outside the Tap and Spile pub, Darlington, on March 8. Magistrates hear that the fight started when Beckwith, of Northgate Lane, told McStravick, of Hundens Lane, both Darlington, that he looked like the footballing bad boy while the pair were in the pub.'
Headline Of The Day
'CHICKEN IN A BASKET CASE' - The Daily Mirror.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'BEACH FOR THE STARS' - The Daily Mirror. The World Cup's in Brazil, you see.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A man wearing only a bed sheet and boxers was charged with trespassing at Bayshore Elementary School on Monday, according to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office. About 1:32 p.m., Donald Edward Martello allegedly jumped a fence and entered the playground area at the school, 6120 26th St. W., according to the sheriff's office. The schools' principal spoke with Martello who would not explain why he was on the school's property. When asked his hobbies, Martello allegedly told the administrator, "shooting," according to his arrest affidavit. When deputies arrived, Martello, 26, said he was seeking help for classes' - Bradenton Herald.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Ed Quoth the Raven, Owen and Mark Mina. If you see anything that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@fotball365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
