Manchester United shouldn't pursue short-term signings in the transfer window and Mario Balotelli knows the English press so well...
Remembering 'Chelsea confident Wayne Rooney will NEVER wear Manchester United shirt again' and noting that being foreign means you can't do maths...
The concept of loyalty in football is a rather quaint one. However unpleasant it might sound, there has been little loyalty in our game for decades, if such a thing ever really existed in the first place.
So it seems odd for a modern football manager to bring it up when discussing one of his players.
"The support he has received from the supporters and the people of the city of Liverpool has been unrivalled. In this period of time he's missed a lot of games for the club through various reasons. The people have stood by him, like a son and really looked after him.
"Whatever happens in the coming weeks that will be in his mind because it's something you can never forget."
So, short version - Suarez should stay because the Liverpool fans have been nice to him. Loyalty, see?
Trouble is, we recall Swansea being quite nice to Rodgers before he decided there was something better for him last summer. The situations aren't exactly the same, but the idea that a footballer/manager wouldn't want to move on should a shinier opportunity arise is one that really should not be lost on Rodgers.
Just so you know, for placing any significance at all in the use of Wayne Rooney in some promotional material for a pre-season game in regards to his sale or otherwise by Manchester United, The Sun, The Daily Mirror, The Daily Mail, The Daily Express, The Times and The Guardian - you're all on our list.
Guardian and Times - we're particularly disappointed in you, with headlines like 'United up stakes in bitter battle for Rooney's future' and 'United tweet puts pressure on Rooney to stay put.' For shame, shame, shame.
One wonders what they're all going to make of Rooney's absence from the promotional material for United's new away kit. SURELY THAT MEANS SOMETHING?!?!?!?!?!?!???!??!?!!!!!11?
Deal-Breaker Of The Day
Solemnly reports The Daily Star:
'Rooney's arrival, though, could cause a dilemma as it is likely he would want the No.10 shirt, currently worn by Spaniard Juan Mata.'
Only one solution to this - a fight to the death.
We missed this the other day, but there's a hugely entertaining piece on The Daily Mail website regarding Gareth Bale.
They regurgitate a piece from Marca, which claimed that Gareth Bale had told Spurs he wants to leave in order to join Real Madrid.
Now, Marca are bullsh*t merchants of the first order, especially when it comes to all things Real Madrid - we know this, you know this and The Daily Mail almost certainly knows this. With this knowledge it's possible to accept what they say as mildly entertaining gossip but just leave it at that.
However, the Mail feel the need to emphasise the reliability of Marca - thus needlessly trying to justify their own story - by posting various transfer stories that they have got right in the past - i.e. the signings of Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaka and Luka Modric. They've got these ones right, so this one's going to be right too, right?
Of course, if you throw enough stopped clocks against the wall, one of them will hit the target. We thus only think it's fair to point out, in the interests of balance, all of these stories that Marca promised us were true that, well, weren't.
Tuesday evening: Harry Redknapp kicks back and celebrates a job done well after agreeing a fee with Celtic for Gary Hooper: "It looks like it's on its way to being done. Negotiations have gone well...He's in the last year of his contract, so it's a good deal for everybody. It's good for Celtic to get the kind of money they are getting and hopefully it will be a great deal for QPR."
Wednesday morning: Hooper heads to Norwich after they agreed a fee with Celtic.
Wednesday afternoon: Harry Redknapp takes his dogs for a long, long walk.
Remarkable statement from Michael Owen in an interview with The Daily Mail.
Owen is quoted as saying: "It's ironic, but the people who gave me flak for building up Manor House (the stables in Cheshire where Owen's Flat racing operation is based), who told me I'd taken my eye off the ball, are probably the same people who will be depressed in later life because they didn't plan ahead."
Aye. If you questioned Owen pricking around with horses while he was still playing you've got a mental illness to look forward to. Eat that, haters.
We're not sure whether we admire Manchester City for their honesty, or despair at their brazenness and sing sad songs that football clubs aren't even pretending that fans are anything but cash registers for them.
For City have advertised a job for a 'Head Of Fan Relationship Management', part of the description for which is to be 'responsible for creating direct relationships with fans worldwide, learn about their interests and behaviours, and better engage them, serve them and monetise them.'
We're not surprised, you understand. Just...ah balls.
Luis Bedoya is a cheeky little scamp, isn't he?
Bedoya is the president of the Colombian Football Federation, so was on hand for the presentation ceremony after the Copa Libertadores final between Atletico Mineiro and Olimpia.
And he attempted to take a souvenir with him. A souvenir in the form of a medal.
Luckily, the sneaky wee tea-leaf was spotted in the act and prevented from getting away with his prize. Observe.
Quote Of The Day
"It's up to God to decide if I stay or not. Up to God, [the club's] presidency and the board" - Atletico Mineiro's Bernard on who's handling his transfer negotiations.
Woof Of The Day
If you haven't already seen it, this no-look volley by Clement Grenier in a friendly against Real Madrid is just...well...it's just obscene.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'£6m Gervin-go' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A naked woman had to be rescued after getting her head trapped between railings during sex in a stairwell in Russia. The 46-year-old was left in the compromising position when her lover somewhat unchivalrously did a runner after she became stuck. The alarm was subsequently raised when a neighbour heard her screams for help. The woman told her rescuers she had been trying to "spice things up" with her man when she became trapped, Digital Spy reported. Emergency worker Alexei Dotsenko told Pronews48.ru: "In all my time working as a rescuer, I don't recall any incident like this one" - Huffington Post.
Thanks for nowt, kids. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org, putting 'Mediawatch' on the subject page.