Ozil is nicking a living and the Daily Mail speak for Liverpool fans...
Adrian Durham says it's 'unfair' that Man United aren't allowed in the Champions League and Mediawatch says it's unfair that we have to read this guff...
Question Of The Day (1)
Does Patrick Barclay still think Adnan Januzaj is the best uncapped footballer of the Premier League era after watching his underwhelming 68 minutes in Cardiff on Sunday?
Picking On My Boy
"It would have been interesting had Luis Suarez made that challenge," said Brendan Rodgers in predictable fashion after Saturday's Merseyside derby featured a rather clumsy challenge from Kevin Mirallas on the Uruguayan.
Yes, because of course those horrible biased bods at the FA do have a habit of punishing Suarez for such trivial matters as racist abuse and biting. Mirallas would have probably got a slap on the wrist for the same thing. Or maybe even a medal.
As for Suarez, what was his punishment for pretty vindictive challenges on Sylvain Distin and Mirallas in last October's Merseyside derby when even Liverpool legend Didi Hamann said he should have been sent off? Erm, that'll be a yellow, then.
Kneesy Does It
'Giroud's flying to leave the critics on their knees as Wilshere hails him as Arsenal's player of the season,' is the sub-headline on John Cross' match report in the Daily Mirror as Wilshere lauds the Frenchman and Arsenal super-fan Cross himself writes: 'Giroud may not be Suarez but he is a key reason why Arsenal are top of the Premier League.'
So who are these 'critics' who suggested that Giroud was not good enough for Arsenal?
Here's one Mr John Cross and his reaction to Arsenal winning 3-0 (yes, winning 3-0) against Fenerbache in August...
'This showed why Arsenal have spent the whole summer trying to buy a striker. If Arsenal actually had a top-quality centre-forward to finish off their approach play they may yet be a force to be reckoned with. Instead, left-back Kieran Gibbs and midfielder Aaron Ramsey showed the strikers where the net is before Olivier Giroud finally found the target with a late penalty.
'It was easy street for Arsenal against a second rate Fenerbahce team who were completely outclassed and embarrassed in the Sukru Saracoglu Stadium. What was supposed to be a red-hot atmosphere and a major test for Arsene Wenger's men after a nightmare start to the season turned into a stroll.
'In fact, it was only made difficult because of their wasteful finishing in the first half when further evidence - if it was needed - was provided that a big-name striker would transform this team.
'Giroud was the worst culprit as he, in particular, looked slow and ponderous while his finishing looks anything but top class. You even began to worry whether he was going to convert the 76th minute penalty after Theo Walcott had been brought down by Fenerbahce Michal Kadlec.'
Presumably Crossy is now 'on his knees'...with Giroud's boot on his back.
Come In No. 10
Writes Mark Irwin in The Sun: 'If Wilshere had his way, he would operate as a No 10 to match the shirt on his back.'
Says Jack Wilshere: "The manager knows where I want to play. I've read him saying I want to be in a deep-lying position in the middle."
Is it too much to ask that someone who writes for The Sun knows where a traditional No 10 plays? Oh, it is. As you were...
Who said this ahead of this weekend's Premier League games?
"My philosophy is to play the game and try to win it. Sometimes it comes at a cost because instead of drawing you can end up losing but I would prefer to try win the game so that is our strategy. We will try to attack, to try to create more chances than the opponent. That is the way I have approached games and I would like to continue like that."
You might want to re-think that philosophy, AVB.
Question Of The Day (2)
Is the Sunday Mirror's Matt Law standing by his August assertion that Franco Baldini was the 'signing of the summer' in the Premier League?
Tottenham clearly have problems but those who think those problems would be solved by Jermain Defoe have clearly got short memories.
'Goodness knows what Jermain Defoe would think,' writes Alan Smith in the Daily Telegraph as he muses on a front pairing of Roberto Soldado and Emmanuel Adebayor. 'To be overlooked in favour of someone who had not kicked a ball in anger this season when you have always responded with goals when given the chance - well, that would be pretty hard fior him to take.'
Is that the same reliably prolific Jermain Defoe who went 11 games without a goal last season?
Mediawatch once again - as it does most Mondays - is left wondering how much Tony Cascarino is paid by The Times to come up with roughly 150 words (in total) for his 'Pick of the Week'.
This week he tells us that Tottenham's signings aren't very good, Liverpool alow their opponents too many chances, Shola Ameobi is quite handy, Artur Boruc should not have done that stupid thing and Wes Brown should not have been sent off.
What's the going rate for vintage twine these days?
Hitting The Toon Early
'In the strange world of Newcastle United, Alan Pardew's men are on the verge of doing rather too well this season,' writes Simon 'that c***' Bird in the Daily Mirror. 'Three wins in a row, a red-hot striker in Loic Remy and a team with a solid formula has shot the Geordies to within a couple of points of the Europa League qualification places.'
Isn't it a bit early to be talking of such lofty finishes, Simon?
'It is too early in the season to talk of such lofty finishes,' continues Bird, admitting that the whole premise of his match report is in fact nonsense.
Quote Of The Day
"Sourness the rules are u kick out u should be off. Souness medel gives left hook he's done his job. Haha brilliant" - Wayne Rooney hits back at Graeme Souness in the only way he knows.
Headlines Of The Day
'AGUERO 10 SPURS 9' and 'SIX AND THE CITY' - The Sun.
'CULTURE CLUBBED' - The Daily Mirror.
'Christian soldiers onward for a goal' - The Daily Mail.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'YOU'LL TEKE A BEATING' - The Daily Star.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'Parents can now treasure pictures of their newborn babies in photo frames made using the mother's placenta. Amanda Cotton has found a way of adding dried and crushed pieces of placenta to moulds filled with clear casting resin to create marble-effect frames, and is already receiving orders from parents, according to the University of Brighton.
'Miss Cotton uses the entire placenta to make a frame, first boiling and cooking it and then grinding it into small pieces before placing it into a mould with resin and other materials. She said: ''I have had a lot of positive feedback from mothers and fathers to be 0 and I already have clients.''' - The Daily Telegraph.
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