The exact sum of money doesn't matter so just guess, a professional footballer has gone out for dinner and everyone gets caught hook, line and sinker on Marco Reus...
Follow a transfer journey with the Daily Star from start to finish, whilst Arsene Wenger has changed his outlook to only use older players. Plus, who cares about Giroud's hair?
Wonderful juxtaposition from The Times.
Where else could Mediawatch start than with Harry Redknapp's 'exclusive' in The Sun (can it really be an exclusive when you pay a man to do a column? If so this is an 'exclusive' Mediawatch.)?
Perhaps it's with his suggestion that Tim Sherwood should get the job because he's 'old-school Spurs' and 'knows the place'? On that basis we look forward to Steve Perryman and Gary Mabbutt also getting a call from Daniel Levy. Actually, scratch that, is Cliff Jones still alive?
Or perhaps it's with his supplementary argument that Sherwood 'was captain of the Blackburn when they won the Premier League in 1995'. Which is presumably why Steve Bruce, Roy Keane and Patrick Vieira are also in the running. Don't worry, Spurs fans, they're not.
Or is it with the snide caveat of 'even though being English will probably go against him' - a curious argument from a decidedly English manager who is the club's longest-serving boss of recent times. Especially when a highly rated foreign manager has just been sacked after barely 18 months.
Now, Sherwood may well be a phenomenal coach (it's difficult to ascertain as Harry only mentions that in passing) but we would hope that his potential appointment will be based on something other than 'knowing the place' and being a half-decent player 18 years ago. Thankfully, it's not Harry making the decisions.
Isn't hindsight a wonderful thing? When Harry Redknapp was in charge of Tottenham, Andros Townsend did not make a single Premier League appearance; he was sent out on eight (count 'em) separate loan spells.
Fast-forward to the sacking of Redknapp's successor and he tells The Sun: 'There are five wingers alone! And who's the best of them all and has been left out in the cold recently? It's Townsend - the Spurs fan who has come through the youth team and cost them nothing...the reason for his sidelining is because Tottenham have been out shopping and signed loads of other players for millions, so he was always going to be the fall guy...Townsend is better than all these big-time charlies...'
Was he 'sidelined' before or after he started ten consecutive Premier League games, Harry? For the record, big-time charlies Erik Lamela and Nacer Chadli have started six and two Premier League games respectively. It's almost like Townsend has been 'sidelined' for other reasons entirely? Like perhaps his record of taking 46 shots but only scoring with a wayward cross? Or contributing zero assists in 14 appearances. You know, the actual football and that.
'The only European tournament worth being in is the Champions League. Of course, it was AVB's job to get Spurs into that and he didn't last season.'
And of course, you didn't the year before.
Told You So
It takes a special kind of newspaper (The Sun) to trumpet Monday's claim that AVB was facing the axe ('as we predicted yesterday') on the back page of Tuesday's newspaper right next to claims than an 'insider' has told them that 'the club had no intention of ditching AVB on Sunday night' before a 'dramatic u-turn' on Monday morning.
So at the time of going to press on Sunday night, boys, you were actually dead wrong.
Slight Difference Of Opinion
According to the Daily Mirror: 'HE knew even before he had spoken to the press afterwards that it was all over.'
According to everybody else: He didn't.
Friend Or Defoe?
According to The Sun in their list of five things that the former Tottenham boss got wrong: 'AVB's treatment of Jermain Defoe left fans scratching their heads.'
Tottenham fans were not left 'screatching their heads' at all. They can probably count the last 26 Premier League games in which Defoe has scored one solitary goal.
The Daily Express go one better and come up with six things that AVB got wrong. They should probably have stuck with five.
Apparently one of the things he got wrong was 'not accepting early enough that Spurs were a one-man team with Gareth Bale'.
Erm, what? So if he'd admitted that they were over-reliant on one player he would have kept his job?
Glenn Gary Glenn Dross
'Would love to see Glenn Hoddle given another chance at this level' - Gary Lineker.
"For me, the man for the job is Glenn Hoddle" - Ossie Ardiles.
'Hope Hoddle gets Spurs job. Man management always his weak point but old enough to have learned lesson now. Great football brain' - Oliver Holt of the Daily Mirror.
'If Barnsley can give Danny Wilson a second chance to manage them, why can't Spurs do the same with Glenn Hoddle?' - Steve Curry of The People.
Hoddle's win percentage at Tottenham: 35.96%.
Christian Gross' win percentage at Tottenham: 34.62%
Andre Villas-Boas' win percentage at Tottenham: 53.7%.
'Glenn Hoddle was immediately heralded as a fans' favourite,' says the Daily Express. And there were we thinking they were stuck in 1997 rather than 2001.
Rule Of Three (The Return)
Mediawatch marvelled on Monday at Darren Lewis in the Daily Mirror with his 'NO Steven Gerrard, no Jose Enrique and no Daniel Sturridge,' opening gambit on Monday. He's at it again on Tuesday as he cites Tottenham's defeat to a 'Liverpool side missing three of their most influential players'.
Jose Mourinho, October: "I smell things, and when that easy (open) goal (from Ba) was missed, I had a smell that they would score a goal."
Jose Mourinho, November: "I told the team (at half-time) that I've been in the game for many, many years and I was smelling what happened because it was quite easy to play the first half."
Jose Mourinho, December: "When you are in the quarter-final, you smell the final."
'GIANFRANCO ZOLA walked out on Watford yesterday - straight into a bizarre job swap with former West Brom boss Steve Clarke,' writes Watford fan Mike Walters in the Daily Mirror.
Except he hasn't, has he Mike? They're just both (far out) in the betting for each other's jobs. File under 'wishful thinking'.
Worst Intro Ever?
'MICHAEL LAUDRUP is confident Swansea will not see Naples and Dai!' - The Sun.
Headline Of The Day
'Villas-Boas: facial hair today, gone tomorrow' - The Times.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'LAUD READY TO RAF IT UP' - The Daily Star.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A woman stands accused of attempting to smuggle a marijuana pipe into jail - by hiding it inside her VAGINA. Ericka Marie Danna, 25, had been arrested by police on suspicion of causing a disturbance outside a property in Oklahoma City on Saturday. She was then taken to jail, where she was searched and the marijuana pipe was allegedly found. A police report produced after the search claimed the pipe had a "marijuana odor" (sic) coming from it, according to KFOR-TV. Danna now faces charges for disturbing the peace and trying to bring contraband into the jail' - The Daily Mirror.
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