Jason Cundy loses his cool over vanishing spray, and the Daily Mirror clutch at straws over Gerrard's quotes on Arsenal and Suarez...
So much for Sam Allardyce's olive branch, Paul Scholes tries to make amends, and marking Lionel Messi really isn't that difficult...
Robbie Savage appeared to take it in good spirits when an image was circulated on Twitter showing his silverware (one Worthington Cup) in comparison to Clarence Seedorf and Thierry Henry (too many to detail here); he appeared to take it in good spirits when Henry said quietly that Arsenal "managed" to cope with Savage's Leicester. But now he has had his sweet, sweet revenge.
While commentating on Tim Cahill's magnificent goal for Australia for the BBC, Savage cried: "Clarence Seedorf and Thierry Henry can have all their medals but they couldn't commentate on a goal like that."
It's Getting Hot In Here
Mark Lawrenson on the BBC on why this Chile team should be able to cope with the conditions: "They're gonna be used to it, a lot of these guys play in this part of the world...well some of them anyway."
Number of Chile players on the pitch that play in South America: One.
Lawro: Thinking research is for geeks since about 1984.
Promise Of The Day
From Mark Lawrenson: "I've got to stop predicting results."
Friday's Mediawatch column is going to be short next season.
How Them Football Works
Said Rio Ferdinand on BBC during the post-match analysis of Spain 0 Chile 2 on the BBC: "We could have been talking about a totally different end result here if them (sic) two chances had gone in."
Fangs. For. That.
The Sun's 'news' reporting of the World Cup plumbs new depths on Thursday with a front-page photoshopped image of Daniel Sturridge, Wayne Rooney and Raheem Sterling with fangs. Because Luis Suarez bit someone, you see. Over a year ago. Neil Syson (in Sao Paulo) can be very proud of the 39 words he has contributed to that front-page 'story'.
He can also be incredibly proud of the 'exclusive' story on pages four and five in which he 'exclusively' wrote that his colleague Tom Morgan got close enough to Luis Suarez to have his picture taken. Literally nobody else has got that 'story'.
Clap....clap....clap. Is that slow enough?
Last Night, He Said
According to an 'exclusive' in the Daily Star, 'WAYNE ROONEY promised to "give it everything" for England last night.'
Alternatively, Rooney promised to "give it everything" in a genuinely exclusive interview with his own official website on June 13.
As we watched Xabi Alonso dive in recklessly to earn Chile the free-kick from which they scored their second goal on Wednesday night - a month after he missed the Champions League final through suspension after diving in recklessly - Mediawatch was reminded of something he said in 2011...
"Tackling is not really a quality, it's more something you are forced to resort to when you don't have the ball."
Maybe he should have practised.
Want to see seven pictures of a topless Michael Carrick? If the answer to that question is yes, what on earth are you doing on Football365? Get thyself over to MailOnline, who have seven such pictures of Carrick under the headline 'Michael Carrick is 'England's Andrea Pirlo'...so why is he in Barbados and not Brazil?'
He's England's Andrea Pirlo, is he? Really? We're pretty sure we've just watched a season where Carrick's pass completion rate was just 88.6% - marginally higher than Marouane Fellaini but lower than four of his United colleagues including Tom Cleverley. We're also pretty sure he contributed just one assist and no goals despite starting 26 Premier League games. So where did this Andrea Pirlo (four goals, six assists last season) nonsense come from?
'Carrick has been likened to Andrea Pirlo by Sportsmail's Adrian Durham.'
Ah. Nonsense entirely explained.
Blast Of The Day
Headline in The Sun: 'Utd were clueless when it came to Fellaini - JAN'S BLAST AT MOYES.'
Oopening paragraph in The Sun: 'MANCHESTER UNITED have been told: 'You haven't got a clue how to use Marouane Fellaini. Belgium defender Jan Vertonghen launches a blast at Old Trafford chiefs after seeing Fellaini save his country on Tuesday."
Actual quotes from Jan Vertonghen: Marouane is always very important for the Belgian team. I know there has been a lot of pressure on him from the fans in England but, in Belgium, he always does well and scores goals."
Stand back, people, he's about to blow.
Line Of The Day
Credit where credit is due, comment of the week comes from the match tracker on the BBC Sport website:
Chile's goalscorers tonight? Charles and Eddie.
Would I lie to you?
Now try and get that out of your heads.
Headlines Of The Day
'RED HOT CHILE PRESSURE' - Genius from RTE during their coverage.
'CHILE CON CARNAGE' - The Daily Mirror.
'ORANJE WEDNESDAY' - The Sun.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Daniel 'n Roo will see off...U' - The Sun.
Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A funeral director in northwest Australia has had to store the body of a 200kg (31.5 stone) man in her car overnight because it was refused by a hospital morgue for being "too fat".
'Joanne Cummings said she had to drive to her home in Roebourne, two hours away from the morgue, with the corpse in her hearse. Temperatures in the area average around 28C (82F) during the day, and Ms Cummins said she had to keep the air conditioning at full blast to keep the body cool during the drive.
'She also had to keep the air conditioning running overnight, using three tanks of petrol, and checked the body every 30 minutes. The following morning, she and her business partner hired a sea container with a chiller and placed the body inside there' - Sky News.
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters Patrick Dalton, Rory Martin, Neil Armitage, Philip Holland, Xris, Henry T, Joe Poole and Stuart Bell. If you spot anything that belongs on this page, mail us at email@example.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.