The Page That Admires The Jumper Of Love

Thibaut Courtois and Alexis Sanchez are both absolutely useless, the Daily Mail are ready to be 'surprised' by Mesut Ozil and a Brendan Rodgers quote of the day...

Last Updated: 04/08/14 at 13:21

Latest Articles

The Page That Has Always Liked Phil Babb

Post comment

TIREDGATE: DAY NINE, and at last it reaches the front pages. Plus why Mourinho can now be found polishing his halo, and doing as Fergie says, not as Fergie does...

The Page That Is Weathering The Storm

Post comment

Apparently it wasn't all David Moyes' fault at Old Trafford? Who knew? Plu,s why it's going swimmingly for Ferdinand and we get annoyed again at dumbing-down...

All Articles

Thibaut Courtois

Thibaut Courtois

Friendly Failure (Part One)
Google the words 'Courtois save Werder' and your search will unearth a myriad of videos, vines and gifs in which Thibaut Courtois' save to deny Franco di Santo in Sunday's friendly is variously described as 'impressive', 'stunning', 'excellent' and 'amazing'. The Metro even use the phrase 'wonder-save'.

In contrast, the headline in the Daily Mail, who successfully counted the number of goals conceded by the Belgian, reads: 'Courtois fails first audition to be No 1.'

Send him back to Madrid; he's s**t.


Friendly Failure (Part Two)
You may well have watched Arsenal's defeat to Monaco and Sunday and thought that new signing Alexis Sanchez showed pace, invention and no little trickery when playing as a winger and then looked dangerous in the second half when he played through the middle.

The headline in the Daily Express? 'Gunner Sanchez left firing blanks.'

Send him back to Barcelona; he's s**t.


Another Fine Mes
Given the Daily Mail's bizarre obsession with Mesut Ozil (the headline for their online report of Germany's 7-1 destruction of Brazil in the World Cup was 'Mesul Ozil barely registers an important kick as Germany destroy hosts Brazil 7-1 in World Cup semi-final'), Mediawatch was amused to read Sami Mokbel in the Mail claim that 'this will be the season we see the real Ozil', rather than that pretend Ozil who only claimed nine Premier League assists and created more chances per game than any other player barring David Silva last season, presumably.

Mokbel also tells us soberly that Arsenal fans should be worried about 'the lack of an alternative to Giroud', after a weekend when Yaya Sonogo scored four goals, Joel Campbell scored once and Alexis Sanchez was rather good through the middle for 45 minutes against Monaco (though he did 'fire blanks'). The fans must be truly petrified.


Ship-Shape
Other highlights of the Daily Mail's 'SHIPSHAPE OR OUT OF SHAPE?' pre-season feature include...

* The prediction that Joe Cole 'could sparkle again'. By Mediawatch's calculations, Cole last 'sparkled' six years ago.

* The suggestion that Chelsea fans 'should be optimistic' because Jose Mourinho has not won a trophy in two years.

* The self-absorption of a reporter suggesting that newly promoted manager Nigel Pearson's 'one wish' this season would be that 'reporters finesse every question'.

* The idea that we should be 'surprised' by the performances of the £20m Lazar Markovic.

* The nomination of Jonny Evans as potentially 'United's most reliable defender'...'if he can stay fit'. So to re-cap: if Evans is reliable, he will be the most reliable defender amongst three notoriously unreliable defenders.

* The suggestion - exactly one paragraph later - that United 'need a truly dominant central defender'.

* The contention that Newcastle need 'another striker'; they've just bought three.

* The suggestion that Stoke fans should be worried because 'a few of the old guard won't be automatic starters'. The 'old guard' like Robert Huth? He started 12 league games last season.

* The nomination of French international striker Bafetimbi Gomis as Swansea's potential 'surprise' package.

* The idea that West Brom are in 'relatively good nick' after the 'statement signing' of Joleon Lescott.

Other than all that, it's an invaluable and insightful pre-season guide. Buy your copy today.


Tweet Of The Day
From Manchester City FC: 'CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN: James tells us that @JoleonLescott's departure leaves a gap in the dressing room fashion-wise.'

Ah, so it was a fashion statement signing...


'Amusing' Intro Of The Day
From the never-less-than-amused-by-himself Mike Walters in the Daily Mirror: 'ARSENE WENGER sounded the alarm - and it was not about Arsenal going 78 days without a trophy.'

Sides. Split.


How It Works At Chelsea
December 2013, Oriol Romeu, when on loan at Valencia: "Chelsea scouters told me recently that there are not many players in my position and that if I have a good season they will want me back next year."

July 2014: Romeu signs new three-year deal at Chelsea.

August 2014: Romeu joins Stuttgart on loan.


Imagine
Frank Lampard, May 2013: "I can't imagine playing for anyone else after being 12 years at Chelsea. I've got a lot of respect for a lot of other Premier League clubs, particularly the top ones, but I'm not sure I could have done that."

All he had to do was open his mind.


Phone A Friend
"I spoke to my friend Fabricio Coloccini, and when he told me about the club, I didn't need to think twice," said new Newcastle signing Facundo Ferreyra this weekend.

Mediawatch wonders whether Coloccini mentioned that, by his own admission, he did 'everything he could' to leave this great club in January 2013 and then said in November: "I'd like to return home as early as I possibly can."

Mediawatch suspects not.


Brendan Rodgers Quote Of The Day
"One of my strengths is to communicate upwards."

And sideways, Brendan. Don't forget sideways.


Headline Of The Day
'More the Ferreyra' - We like this from The Sun. Shoot us.

Worst Headline Of The Day
'Weng raps Lamps deal' - The Sun. Wrong on so many levels.


Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A suspected thief was reportedly caught after he decided to make crab cakes at the restaurant he broke into. Most burglars want to get out as quick as possible, but Stephen L. Quinn was apparently more interested in satisfying his urge for the fishy treat. While reportedly in the middle of preparing the dish at Delaware's Planet X Cafe on Thursday, police burst in following a tip off.

'The 41-year-old had also apparently put aside some stolen alcohol and was seemingly readying himself for a sit down meal. Quinn attempted to make a dash for freedom but was quickly apprehended, according to police' - Metro.


Thanks for nought. If you spot something that belongs on this page, mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.

Football365 Facebook Fan Page

The Football365 fan page is a great place to meet like minded people, have football related discussions and make new friends.

Most Commented

Readers' Comments

F

ergie, aren't you supposed to make a beep beep noise when backing up like that?

simonthfc
Ferguson: Club made Moyes decision

S

ome of these are quality! Why you no like him F365?? :(

left right out
The, Erm, 'Best' Of Henry James Redknapp

W

e're our own worst enemy. We're suicidal in defence, and we may just get slaughtered on Sunday. Other than that, I am very pleased with my team.

bob the manc
Van Gaal: We can catch Chelsea

Latest Photos

Footer 365

Fabio Cannavaro under investigation over taxes

World Cup winner Fabio Cannavaro is under investigation over a suspected major tax fraud, Italian police have confirmed.

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew lifts lid on disastrous start

Newcastle manager Alan Pardew admits he has been finding life tough after a disastrous start to the season.

Premier League: Chelsea's Loic Remy confident of being fit to face Manchester United

Chelsea striker Loic Remy is hopeful of being fit for the weekend's Sky Live game at Manchester United.

Mail Box

City: Like A Deer Caught In The Headlights

...while Chelsea just live for Champions League nights. That's one view in a mailbox that also includes several happy football fans and looks forward to Michael Carrick's return...

Are There Any Happy Fans Out There?

It seems as if Chelsea, West Ham and Southampton are the only content supporters right now. We have more doom and gloom for you. Who wants good news, eh..?

© 2014 British Sky Broadcasting Ltd. All Rights Reserved A Sky Sports Digital Media property